[KJJ79]

Is there a term that describes the below action:

A person who claims they are speaking about one person, but in actuality, they are speaking about another person instead to help hide that fact.

My teenage daughters' stepmother was discussing her "friend who is paying alimony to his ex-wife, but the ex-wife got remarried and never told him, thus is selling money" when in reality their stepmother is talking about me, however, I'm not married and thus not stealing.

Is there a term for that? I want to say it's something like pathological lying, but I know she's lying for a reason as opposed to no reason at all from what I read about pathological lying.

Thank you

[Fury]

1 is talking about 2, but using the name 3.

2 confronts 1 about it, KNOWING that 1 is talking about 2.

But 1 says, "I wasn't talking about you - I was talking about 3! You're not thinking straight"... - GASLIGHTING

The lies being stated by 1 under a false name, if connected to 2, could result in a Defamation of Character charge and a slander suit (or libel if written).

The lies being told otherwise, if not possibly able to connect to 2, would not do any harm as no legal action could be taken if 1 insists that they are talking about 3. In rare cases you can argue the Defamation of a Pseudonym, but it's difficult.

Does this help at all?

[KJJ79]

Thank you! It’s hard to pin down that behavior especially when it’s teenagers who have to deal with it from an adult. Thanks again!

[mote.of.soul]

I think it might also be a form of 'passive aggressive' behaviour, KJJ79. I've heard people do that countless times, as well. And people have actually told me they do that deliberately, too(!)

Some people don't know how to deal with conflict in a constructive way, so they resort to games. Games can be in the form of manipulation, gas lighting, passive aggressive behaviour. I don't think they sit around trying to figure out how to do this to you. I think they just do it because they do that with everyone. I'm not sure your situation, but for me, I avoid people who engage in that. If you can't do that, then at least you know what you are dealing with and that should give you some protection in knowing it's not you that carries the problem.

[Thunder Bow]

The right Term for this is GOSSIP !

[winter4me]

Yep. Gossip.
I once had a supervisor who went looking for and creating gossip about me. So, I made an appointment with her and said I'd heard she'd been talking about and asking questions about me, not to try to guess where I heard is as it was from more than two people. I told her she could ask me personal questions, I would likely tell her it was none of her business but, she could ask. Me. (years later we worked together again and she spent her first conversationt telling how much more professional she was now, the facility was now blah blah blah....) Depending on the situation, ignore or confront in a matter of fact "just curious" tone of voice is my advice, not that you should listen to me.

[divine1966]

If you aren’t married and stepmother knows you aren’t married, then is it possible she wasn’t talking about you. Doesn’t sound like your situation

Is your daughter a minor? I think it’s crazy that SM discussing adult gossip with her. Inappropriate regardless who the story is about