Do people who tell lies really believe their own lies? Or is it an act?

WovenGalaxy · Jun 12, 2021 at 08:02 PM

Do chronic liars know they are lying? Or do they REALLY see their lies as the truth? I ask bc I've come across liars here and there in my life. My cousin's gf is one of them. She is full of drama and she always blames others and can't take responsibility for her actions. She seems to take her lies as truth. Or maybe that's part of the lie and making it *seem* real? I experienced this from a mental health type "professional" too. Not a therapist. But still unfortunate and stressful. This woman even told me *I* said certain things when I know I didn't. I was like, "Does she really believe this **** she's making up?"

Open Eyes · 10:57 PM

Good question, i ask this myself because my sister lies. And she is very controlling, entitled and is a drama queen. I am thinking the lying is about a need for control and the person considers it ok if it gets their needs met.

It’s part of the individual’s way of protecting their ego IMO. It’s typically a form of self protection and if that is the case the individual tends to decide the lying is ok. So even though they know it’s a lie they don’t think of it as wrong.

RoxanneToto · Jun 13, 2021 at 02:07 AM

Yeah, this is a great question! It’s really hard to tell, even if you’ve known a compulsive liar for years.
We’re under the impression my dad really does believe the lies he tells everyone, though it’s really hard to understand the behaviour, especially when lying has had worse consequences than the truth would have - at best, it’s just rather bizarre.
If it is an act, there may be ‘tells’ if you know what to look for, and are fortunate enough to be in the right place/time to catch them, but I’m really just speculating, here.
I’ve also been told I have said things I either know for a fact I didn’t, or *might* have said but had no real recollection of saying, so found myself racking my brain trying to figure out if I really did or not. Generally it’s just an awful feeling, being put on the defensive like that for who knows what reason. I’m sorry you experienced that.

Marie123 · Jun 13, 2021 at 05:36 AM

I think that chronic liars start to believe their own lies. I rhink THAT they get so used to lieing, they don't even think about it.

WovenGalaxy · Jun 13, 2021 at 08:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RoxanneToto

I’ve also been told I have said things I either know for a fact I didn’t, or *might* have said but had no real recollection of saying, so found myself racking my brain trying to figure out if I really did or not. Generally it’s just an awful feeling, being put on the defensive like that for who knows what reason. I’m sorry you experienced that.

Thanks RoxanneToto. The person who said it to me, we were not arguing or anything. She was actually trying to become closer to me, and wanted to "be my friend," which I told her I was uncomfortable with that given the circumstances, but anyway, in this particular lie, she said I'd said something to her, that I said to someone else. She just caught wind of it. Anyway it freaked me out. There were so many red flags with her. The program I was getting help in, I'd already complained so much about their other workers. There were just so many problems, lying being one of them. Its unfortunate that mental health programs meant to help others are sometimes riddled with people who need help themselves. To be fair, there were some good people working in this program too.

TishaBuv · Jun 13, 2021 at 08:23 AM

Some liars, lie, and know they’re lying
Some liars, lie, and believe their lies
All people who think they are telling the truth, are sometimes accidentally lying

Some lie so much, the truth slips out by accident

MickeyCheeky · Jun 13, 2021 at 08:27 AM

i agree with the other wise and wonderful posters that this is an interesting question! Thank you for posting it!

i think many people may simply lie out of convenience, but some may get so caught up in the lying that they start believing themselves. Perhaps it truly is a form of self-protection. i am not sure. i think it may be somethign interesting to think about sometimes. Hopefully you won't have to deal with this kind of people too much. Sending many Safe, warm hugs to ALL of you, @WovenGalaxy, your Family, your Friends and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK?!

WovenGalaxy · Jun 13, 2021 at 09:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TishaBuv

Some liars, lie, and know they’re lying
Some liars, lie, and believe their lies
All people who think they are telling the truth, are sometimes accidentally lying

Some lie so much, the truth slips out by accident

Love this Tisha! So true.

The_little_didgee · Jun 13, 2021 at 09:45 AM

I have met people who lie excessively. Most of them were women trying to create drama. I suspect it has something to do with the lack of a meaningful life. Another reason people lie is to impress others. I have encountered this mostly with guys.

When I discover someone is lying especially to create conflict between others, I avoid them. If I can't, I keep them distant and am very careful around them.

poshgirl · Jun 13, 2021 at 11:29 AM

This is an interesting topic!

It can be both. A massive ego that no one should ever challenge. Or an act to attract attention. My sister-in-law is a fine example. There are so many lies I could have called her out on but wasn't going to waste my energy. She is a controlling/dominating person, obnoxious when she's had an alcoholic drink. I seem to be the only one in the family who sees through all this bulls**t!

Her behaviour has even been excused as "that's the way she is". Perhaps I should have called her out from the beginning. She even does it to her elderly mother-in-law. It's just become normal behaviour.

*Beth* · Jun 20, 2021 at 04:11 PM

Lying and telling untrue stories can be an attempt to make oneself feel important, and hope that others will perceive them (the liar) as someone special. It's actually really sad.

eskielover · Jun 20, 2021 at 04:24 PM

I have noticed for some the lies are actually the way they observe a situation (broken mind)....or if you ask a specific question & one little part may not be quite right, they will deny it rather than correcting the part that isn't quite right. Ugh, I lived with a guy like that for 33 years. I always knew what the truth was though (usually a financial issue).....or the priceless lies are the ones of omission. Yea, got that alot....."if I don't tell her then I am not actually lieing".

Or another thing I have encountered was that he was too ignorant to know what he was doing & years later I am finding out how it is affecting me financially. Too stupid to know what he was actually doing or if he knew he wasn't going to tell anyone & think he could get away with it. This time his crap may land him in jail. So many who lie don't experience any negative consequences & think they can just get away with it. Ends up biting them in the rear sooner or later when we have had more than enough

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Marie123 Veteran Member Member Since Jan 2011 Posts: 574 13 29 hugs given	Jun 13, 2021 at 05:36 AM #4 I think that chronic liars start to believe their own lies. I rhink THAT they get so used to lieing, they don't even think about it.
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TishaBuv Legendary Member Since Dec 2014 Location: USA Posts: 10,181 (SuperPoster!) 9 1,869 hugs given	Jun 13, 2021 at 08:23 AM #6 Some liars, lie, and know they’re lying Some liars, lie, and believe their lies All people who think they are telling the truth, are sometimes accidentally lying Some lie so much, the truth slips out by accident __________________ "And don't say it hasn't been a little slice of heaven, 'cause it hasn't!" . About Me--T
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Beth catches the flowers Member Since Jul 2019 Location: Downtown Vibes, California Posts: 15,701 (SuperPoster!) 4 23.7k hugs given	Jun 20, 2021 at 04:11 PM #11 Lying and telling untrue stories can be an attempt to make oneself feel important, and hope that others will perceive them (the liar) as someone special. It's actually really sad. __________________
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