FAQ/Help |
Calendar |
Search |
Magnate
Member Since Apr 2016
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 2,740
8 199 hugs
given |
#1
Just wondered, does anyone ever feel bad when they complain to other people about something that is bothering you even if you don't vent all the time? I used to talk about what was bothering me a lot more many years ago but over time I stopped doing it since it makes me feel bad and feel like a burden to others. I'm always worried that other people really don't want to hear about what is going on so I rarely open up. This applies to both at work and outside of work. During the rare times I do complain about something, I usually retract what I say later on regardless if things have cleared up or not.
As soon as I complain about something, I instantly feel regretful since I worry that the person I vented to will shy away from me and wonder why I just told them whatever it was I vented about. Also in most cases, people really don't want to hear any negativity regardless if they ask how you are doing so anytime I feel like I'm being negative, I believe they are secretly wishing I would stop talking even though it is usually very quick. I also worry that they'll think I'm upset about something that is not worth complaining about. This is why I always retract what I say after complaining, I don't want them to think I'm constantly in a negative mindset. And if it is at work, I don't want my coworkers thinking I'm weak so I almost never complain there. And in the very rare chances I do tell a coworker that I'm not doing great, I retract it the next time I see them. Usually I don't have a bad day at work for the entire day, usually just for a short period, like just one bad class period. Then the rest of the day will be fine, but even if I'm genuinely having a bad day, I don't let my coworkers think I'm constantly in that negative mindset. There is no real place for negativity in the workplace. I know how draining it is to constantly hear someone complain at work so that's whyI keep it at an extreme minimum, almost nonexistant for me. Instead, I'll say that my day actually turned out to be great after all just so I don't come off as negative. The only people I'm most comfortable venting to are friends and even then I still feel regretful afterwards. When I feel like I'm being negative, I feel like I'm acting or sounding childish even though I don't act like a child. Does anyone else have those feelings of regret right after a bout of negativity or complaining about something? Just wondered what you all thought. |
Reply With Quote |
allexjon5580, Buffy01, nonightowl, ThunderGoddess
|
Buffy01, mote.of.soul, nonightowl, ThunderGoddess
|
Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Oct 2004
Location: Kentucky, USA
Posts: 24,754
(SuperPoster!)
19 14.6k hugs
given |
#2
Doesn't make me feel bad. I usually don't do it.....but sometimes it ends up being an update on a situation that they are interested in or wondering how it is going.
Seriously in my life I don't have very much to complain about. Also when others are experiencing the same issue, we discuss it so we can come up with methods to deal with it though I am sure it sounds like we are complaining about the same thing together. I don't like being around people who constantly complain about everything in their life either & I have found there are some people like that....I distance from them __________________ Leo's favorite place was in the passenger seat of my truck. We went everywhere together like this. Leo my soulmate will live in my heart FOREVER Nov 1, 2002 - Dec 16, 2018 |
Reply With Quote |
rdgrad15, RoxanneToto
|
Magnate
Member Since Apr 2016
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 2,740
8 199 hugs
given |
#3
Quote:
|
|
Reply With Quote |
eskielover
|
eskielover, RoxanneToto
|
Guest
Posts: n/a
|
#4
I hate when you complain about something, and the results are unsatisfactory- and then you keep going back to complain about the same issue.
it does make me feel bad, but at the same time, I'm not the kind of person who will just go along with something just because that's what's been decided, and that's the outcome some may call me the wrestler of complaints- lol..... meaning I won't stop until I've won what I'm after |
Reply With Quote |
allexjon5580, eskielover
|
rdgrad15, ThunderGoddess
|
Magnate
Member Since Apr 2016
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 2,740
8 199 hugs
given |
#5
Quote:
|
|
Reply With Quote |
allexjon5580, Anonymous32451
|
RoxanneToto
|
Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Oct 2004
Location: Kentucky, USA
Posts: 24,754
(SuperPoster!)
19 14.6k hugs
given |
#6
I usually try to use my energy coming up with a solution instead of complaining. Problem with complaining is that it is like picking a scab on a sore. It keeps the sore a sore & accomplishes nothing in either the healing or solution process. I am a logical problem solver. I may express my concerns about a problem to see what others might be thinking about it....then I go to work at finding what action I need to take to make a difference regarding it in my life. Sometimes others join in, sometimes not. Only time I will give up is when I have deemed the cost is too great & outweighs the benefit. (Dealing with this ? in legal action against my EX)
__________________ Leo's favorite place was in the passenger seat of my truck. We went everywhere together like this. Leo my soulmate will live in my heart FOREVER Nov 1, 2002 - Dec 16, 2018 |
Reply With Quote |
rdgrad15, RoxanneToto
|
Veteran Member
Member Since Nov 2014
Location: The beach.
Posts: 591
9 428 hugs
given |
#7
Quote:
__________________ Just keep swimming I have BPD or Autism or both, we may never know, the focus is always the symptoms, not the diagnosis |
|
Reply With Quote |
rdgrad15
|
Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jun 2016
Location: Where the sidewalk ends
Posts: 36,202
(SuperPoster!)
7 8,769 hugs
given |
#8
I complain a lot online. In real life I’m a super mellow easy going person.
__________________ Ridin' with Biden |
Reply With Quote |
rdgrad15
|
Magnate
Member Since Apr 2016
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 2,740
8 199 hugs
given |
#9
Quote:
|
|
Reply With Quote |
Magnate
Member Since Apr 2016
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 2,740
8 199 hugs
given |
#10
Yeah it can be hard to hold in the urge to complain and feeling like you annoy yourself.
|
Reply With Quote |
Magnate
Member Since Apr 2016
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 2,740
8 199 hugs
given |
#11
|
Reply With Quote |
Guest
Posts: n/a
|
#12
Quote:
their is a saying.. if you want something done right, do it yourself, and I guess I agree a little... |
|
Reply With Quote |
rdgrad15
|
Magnate
Member Since Apr 2016
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 2,740
8 199 hugs
given |
#13
|
Reply With Quote |
eskielover
|
Junior Member
Member Since Sep 2021
Location: Ghatkopar
Posts: 23
2 |
#14
Its better to focus on what is the right thing to do then eventually everything falls in place. Nobody be upset with you. Not even you with yourself.
|
Reply With Quote |
rdgrad15
|
Magnate
Member Since Apr 2016
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 2,740
8 199 hugs
given |
#15
|
Reply With Quote |
Grand Magnate
Member Since Sep 2018
Location: Islandia
Posts: 4,263
(SuperPoster!)
5 10.9k hugs
given |
#16
Yes, but don’t often complain unless know someone well. Don’t feel comfortable complaining really so unless know someone well rarely complain.
|
Reply With Quote |
rdgrad15
|
Magnate
Member Since Apr 2016
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 2,740
8 199 hugs
given |
#17
Yep I totally agree and even when I do complain to someone I know well, I still feel bad and retract what I said but I rarely complain though since it doesn’t change anything.
|
Reply With Quote |
Wise Elder
Member Since Oct 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 9,531
(SuperPoster!)
6 9,711 hugs
given |
#18
Quote:
__________________ Everyone can do magic - Cassie Nightgale the good witch. Dear Diary today will be different today I can smile it will be genuine because today is the day I get to live. This life will be good and beautiful, but not without heartbreak. In death come peace. But pain is the cost of living. Like love, it's how we know we're alive. And life goes on. That my life weird, messy, complicated, sad, wonderful, amazing, and above all epic and I owe all to Stephen. - Eleanor Gilbert Vampire Diaries |
|
Reply With Quote |
rdgrad15
|
Elder Harridan x-hankster
Member Since Jun 2011
Location: Milan/Michigan
Posts: 39,867
(SuperPoster!)
12 66.4k hugs
given |
#19
I see complaining about stuff as a sort of comedic-philosophical lifestyle. As dr phil says, you cant change what you dont acknowledge, and "laugh and the world laughs with you; cry and you cry alone." In the 1980's we used to call it the japanese practice of continuous improvement.
|
Reply With Quote |
rdgrad15
|
Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Oct 2004
Location: Kentucky, USA
Posts: 24,754
(SuperPoster!)
19 14.6k hugs
given |
#20
I have been getting pharmacy calls regarding prescriptions for a lady that used to live at the barn apartment where I kept my horse. Haven't seen her since July when they got kicked out of there. Called the pharmacy to tell them to remove my phone number because their message would never get to her. They assured me it was being removed. Next day I got the same call from the pharmacy. You bettcha I called & complained & no more calls. I totally believe in the squeaky wheel being the one that gets service IF IT IS DONE NICELY & POLITELY. I never complain to just complain. I complain with the goal & the means to change what is wrong. I will never be silent
__________________ Leo's favorite place was in the passenger seat of my truck. We went everywhere together like this. Leo my soulmate will live in my heart FOREVER Nov 1, 2002 - Dec 16, 2018 |
Reply With Quote |
rdgrad15
|