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Old 09-04-2021, 07:33 AM   #1
rdgrad15
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Default Does complaining to other people ever make you feel bad?

Just wondered, does anyone ever feel bad when they complain to other people about something that is bothering you even if you don't vent all the time? I used to talk about what was bothering me a lot more many years ago but over time I stopped doing it since it makes me feel bad and feel like a burden to others. I'm always worried that other people really don't want to hear about what is going on so I rarely open up. This applies to both at work and outside of work. During the rare times I do complain about something, I usually retract what I say later on regardless if things have cleared up or not.

As soon as I complain about something, I instantly feel regretful since I worry that the person I vented to will shy away from me and wonder why I just told them whatever it was I vented about. Also in most cases, people really don't want to hear any negativity regardless if they ask how you are doing so anytime I feel like I'm being negative, I believe they are secretly wishing I would stop talking even though it is usually very quick. I also worry that they'll think I'm upset about something that is not worth complaining about.

This is why I always retract what I say after complaining, I don't want them to think I'm constantly in a negative mindset. And if it is at work, I don't want my coworkers thinking I'm weak so I almost never complain there. And in the very rare chances I do tell a coworker that I'm not doing great, I retract it the next time I see them. Usually I don't have a bad day at work for the entire day, usually just for a short period, like just one bad class period. Then the rest of the day will be fine, but even if I'm genuinely having a bad day, I don't let my coworkers think I'm constantly in that negative mindset.

There is no real place for negativity in the workplace. I know how draining it is to constantly hear someone complain at work so that's whyI keep it at an extreme minimum, almost nonexistant for me. Instead, I'll say that my day actually turned out to be great after all just so I don't come off as negative. The only people I'm most comfortable venting to are friends and even then I still feel regretful afterwards. When I feel like I'm being negative, I feel like I'm acting or sounding childish even though I don't act like a child. Does anyone else have those feelings of regret right after a bout of negativity or complaining about something? Just wondered what you all thought.
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Old 09-04-2021, 08:18 AM   #2
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Default Re: Does complaining to other people ever make you feel bad?

Doesn't make me feel bad. I usually don't do it.....but sometimes it ends up being an update on a situation that they are interested in or wondering how it is going.

Seriously in my life I don't have very much to complain about. Also when others are experiencing the same issue, we discuss it so we can come up with methods to deal with it though I am sure it sounds like we are complaining about the same thing together.

I don't like being around people who constantly complain about everything in their life either & I have found there are some people like that....I distance from them
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Old 09-04-2021, 08:21 AM   #3
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Default Re: Does complaining to other people ever make you feel bad?

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Doesn't make me feel bad. I usually don't do it.....but sometimes it ends up being an update on a situation that they are interested in or wondering how it is going.

Seriously in my life I don't have very much to complain about. Also when others are experiencing the same issue, we discuss it so we can come up with methods to deal with it though I am sure it sounds like we are complaining about the same thing together.

I don't like being around people who constantly complain about everything in their life either & I have found there are some people like that....I distance from them
You have a good approach to it. I will say, trying to find a solution to a problems is a good way to eliminate whatever is causing someone to be upset. And I agree that some people do complain about everything and it can definitely be draining.
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Old 09-04-2021, 09:13 AM   #4
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Default Re: Does complaining to other people ever make you feel bad?

I hate when you complain about something, and the results are unsatisfactory- and then you keep going back to complain about the same issue.

it does make me feel bad, but at the same time, I'm not the kind of person who will just go along with something just because that's what's been decided, and that's the outcome

some may call me the wrestler of complaints- lol..... meaning I won't stop until I've won what I'm after
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Old 09-04-2021, 09:17 AM   #5
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Default Re: Does complaining to other people ever make you feel bad?

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I hate when you complain about something, and the results are unsatisfactory- and then you keep going back to complain about the same issue.

it does make me feel bad, but at the same time, I'm not the kind of person who will just go along with something just because that's what's been decided, and that's the outcome

some may call me the wrestler of complaints- lol..... meaning I won't stop until I've won what I'm after
Yeah that can be annoying when you want something done and you are not satisfied. I used to be like you and continue to complain about it but not anymore, I just give up or if it's something I can fix myself, I'll just do it alone.
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Old 09-04-2021, 05:49 PM   #6
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Yeah that can be annoying when you want something done and you are not satisfied. I used to be like you and continue to complain about it but not anymore, I just give up or if it's something I can fix myself, I'll just do it alone.
I usually try to use my energy coming up with a solution instead of complaining. Problem with complaining is that it is like picking a scab on a sore. It keeps the sore a sore & accomplishes nothing in either the healing or solution process. I am a logical problem solver. I may express my concerns about a problem to see what others might be thinking about it....then I go to work at finding what action I need to take to make a difference regarding it in my life. Sometimes others join in, sometimes not. Only time I will give up is when I have deemed the cost is too great & outweighs the benefit. (Dealing with this ? in legal action against my EX)
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Old 09-04-2021, 06:17 PM   #7
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Default Re: Does complaining to other people ever make you feel bad?

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Originally Posted by raging vortex View Post
I hate when you complain about something, and the results are unsatisfactory- and then you keep going back to complain about the same issue.

it does make me feel bad, but at the same time, I'm not the kind of person who will just go along with something just because that's what's been decided, and that's the outcome

some may call me the wrestler of complaints- lol..... meaning I won't stop until I've won what I'm after
Right there with you, I do annoy myself with this sometimes but I can't stop won't stop if I know I'm in the right. Although, it would be nice if I could be a little more chill about it internally.
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Old 09-04-2021, 06:40 PM   #8
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Default Re: Does complaining to other people ever make you feel bad?

I complain a lot online. In real life Iím a super mellow easy going person.
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Old 09-05-2021, 01:49 AM   #9
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Default Re: Does complaining to other people ever make you feel bad?

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I usually try to use my energy coming up with a solution instead of complaining. Problem with complaining is that it is like picking a scab on a sore. It keeps the sore a sore & accomplishes nothing in either the healing or solution process. I am a logical problem solver. I may express my concerns about a problem to see what others might be thinking about it....then I go to work at finding what action I need to take to make a difference regarding it in my life. Sometimes others join in, sometimes not. Only time I will give up is when I have deemed the cost is too great & outweighs the benefit. (Dealing with this ? in legal action against my EX)
Yeah makes sense, complaining is usually more acceptable if there is a solution being discussed.
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Old 09-05-2021, 01:50 AM   #10
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Right there with you, I do annoy myself with this sometimes but I can't stop won't stop if I know I'm in the right. Although, it would be nice if I could be a little more chill about it internally.
Yeah it can be hard to hold in the urge to complain and feeling like you annoy yourself.
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Old 09-05-2021, 01:51 AM   #11
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I complain a lot online. In real life Iím a super mellow easy going person.
Yeah I open up more online than I do in real life too.
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Old 09-05-2021, 04:12 AM   #12
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Default Re: Does complaining to other people ever make you feel bad?

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Yeah that can be annoying when you want something done and you are not satisfied. I used to be like you and continue to complain about it but not anymore, I just give up or if it's something I can fix myself, I'll just do it alone.


their is a saying.. if you want something done right, do it yourself, and I guess I agree a little...
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Old 09-05-2021, 12:38 PM   #13
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their is a saying.. if you want something done right, do it yourself, and I guess I agree a little...
Yep that makes sense and I can agree with that to an extent. Basically, if you're able to do it yourself, then you should do it.
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Old 09-28-2021, 06:02 AM   #14
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Default Re: Does complaining to other people ever make you feel bad?

Its better to focus on what is the right thing to do then eventually everything falls in place. Nobody be upset with you. Not even you with yourself.
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Old 09-28-2021, 10:59 PM   #15
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Its better to focus on what is the right thing to do then eventually everything falls in place. Nobody be upset with you. Not even you with yourself.
Yeah true, exactly.
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Old 09-29-2021, 12:26 AM   #16
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Default Re: Does complaining to other people ever make you feel bad?

Yes, but donít often complain unless know someone well. Donít feel comfortable complaining really so unless know someone well rarely complain.
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Old 09-29-2021, 12:30 PM   #17
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Yes, but donít often complain unless know someone well. Donít feel comfortable complaining really so unless know someone well rarely complain.
Yep I totally agree and even when I do complain to someone I know well, I still feel bad and retract what I said but I rarely complain though since it doesnít change anything.
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Old 11-23-2021, 08:59 PM   #18
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Just wondered, does anyone ever feel bad when they complain to other people about something that is bothering you even if you don't vent all the time? I used to talk about what was bothering me a lot more many years ago but over time I stopped doing it since it makes me feel bad and feel like a burden to others. I'm always worried that other people really don't want to hear about what is going on so I rarely open up. This applies to both at work and outside of work. During the rare times I do complain about something, I usually retract what I say later on regardless if things have cleared up or not.

As soon as I complain about something, I instantly feel regretful since I worry that the person I vented to will shy away from me and wonder why I just told them whatever it was I vented about. Also in most cases, people really don't want to hear any negativity regardless if they ask how you are doing so anytime I feel like I'm being negative, I believe they are secretly wishing I would stop talking even though it is usually very quick. I also worry that they'll think I'm upset about something that is not worth complaining about.

This is why I always retract what I say after complaining, I don't want them to think I'm constantly in a negative mindset. And if it is at work, I don't want my coworkers thinking I'm weak so I almost never complain there. And in the very rare chances I do tell a coworker that I'm not doing great, I retract it the next time I see them. Usually I don't have a bad day at work for the entire day, usually just for a short period, like just one bad class period. Then the rest of the day will be fine, but even if I'm genuinely having a bad day, I don't let my coworkers think I'm constantly in that negative mindset.

There is no real place for negativity in the workplace. I know how draining it is to constantly hear someone complain at work so that's whyI keep it at an extreme minimum, almost nonexistant for me. Instead, I'll say that my day actually turned out to be great after all just so I don't come off as negative. The only people I'm most comfortable venting to are friends and even then I still feel regretful afterwards. When I feel like I'm being negative, I feel like I'm acting or sounding childish even though I don't act like a child. Does anyone else have those feelings of regret right after a bout of negativity or complaining about something? Just wondered what you all thought.
I understand how you feel. I feel like this all the time. I find myself being chewed out for venting.
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Old 11-24-2021, 02:13 AM   #19
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Default Re: Does complaining to other people ever make you feel bad?

I see complaining about stuff as a sort of comedic-philosophical lifestyle. As dr phil says, you cant change what you dont acknowledge, and "laugh and the world laughs with you; cry and you cry alone." In the 1980's we used to call it the japanese practice of continuous improvement.
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Old 11-24-2021, 10:05 AM   #20
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I have been getting pharmacy calls regarding prescriptions for a lady that used to live at the barn apartment where I kept my horse. Haven't seen her since July when they got kicked out of there. Called the pharmacy to tell them to remove my phone number because their message would never get to her. They assured me it was being removed. Next day I got the same call from the pharmacy. You bettcha I called & complained & no more calls. I totally believe in the squeaky wheel being the one that gets service IF IT IS DONE NICELY & POLITELY. I never complain to just complain. I complain with the goal & the means to change what is wrong. I will never be silent
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