FAQ/Help |
Calendar |
Search |
Veteran Member
Member Since Nov 2014
Location: Oklahoma
Posts: 720
9 634 hugs
given |
#1
If someone frequently picks arguments with you, would that be a form of gaslighting?
__________________ "We can hear the night watchman click his flashlight ask himself if it's him or them that's insane"- Bob Dylan 20 mg Citalopram |
Reply With Quote |
downandlonely, SprinkL3
|
Elder Harridan x-hankster
Member Since Jun 2011
Location: Milan/Michigan
Posts: 39,868
(SuperPoster!)
12 66.4k hugs
given |
#2
Ime, yes. Its a form of redirecting your attention, to keep you distracted.
|
Reply With Quote |
SprinkL3
|
annoyedgrunt84, SprinkL3
|
Threadtastic Postaholic
Member Since Dec 2018
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 6,006
(SuperPoster!)
5 192 hugs
given |
#3
I think it depends on whether they are actually trying to convince you that what you are feeling or experiencing isnt real.
__________________ "I carried a watermelon?" President of the no F's given society. |
Reply With Quote |
SprinkL3
|
annoyedgrunt84, SprinkL3
|
Account Suspended
Member Since Oct 2021
Location: DELETED
Posts: 2,752
(SuperPoster!)
2 10.9k hugs
given |
#4
If the relationship is between lawyers, maybe not. They tend to argue a lot to keep their wits about them. If the relationship is imbalanced, where one person is controlling and the other is giving or receiving too much, then yes, perhaps it is a form of gaslighting when the person has already made up their mind on who you are in the relationship and how they should treat you, thus making any changes or boundary setting you do be something out of your character (in their mind), which would then spark a counterargument on your part, and then start the gaslighting process, if they don't get their way. But if they are constantly pointing out your flaws, then they might not be gaslighting and instead just be toxic. That's not helpful at all to you, regardless of what "flaws" you may need to work on. I used to have former friends who picked on my flaws all the time, and I just could not live up to their standards as a friend. I let go of such toxic or unfit relationships because it wasn't going to help me; instead, it actually hindered me.
The term "gaslighting" is being thrown around more and more these days, due to its use in political arenas. So, it's important to perhaps reframe what is going on through examples and details, as opposed to labels and generalizations. |
Reply With Quote |
annoyedgrunt84
|
Veteran Member
Member Since Jan 2011
Posts: 574
13 29 hugs
given |
#5
I don't see it as gaslighting. Some people just need to argue and be right.
|
Reply With Quote |
SprinkL3
|
annoyedgrunt84
|
Threadtastic Postaholic
Member Since Dec 2018
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 6,006
(SuperPoster!)
5 192 hugs
given |
#6
Quote:
__________________ "I carried a watermelon?" President of the no F's given society. |
|
Reply With Quote |
SprinkL3
|
annoyedgrunt84, SprinkL3
|
Legendary
Member Since Mar 2018
Location: United States
Posts: 10,760
(SuperPoster!)
6 10.6k hugs
given |
#7
I wouldn't say it's necessarily gaslighting, but I do know some people who really seem to enjoy arguing, my brother being one. I find it best not to engage when he gets like that.
|
Reply With Quote |
SprinkL3
|
annoyedgrunt84, SprinkL3
|
Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Dec 2014
Location: US
Posts: 22,376
(SuperPoster!)
9 1,277 hugs
given |
#8
Could you provide some examples of what this person says during these fights? Being argumentative doesn’t necessarily means that people gaslight you.
|
Reply With Quote |
SprinkL3
|
annoyedgrunt84, SprinkL3
|