Would this be a form of gaslighting?

If someone frequently picks arguments with you, would that be a form of gaslighting?

Ime, yes. Its a form of redirecting your attention, to keep you distracted.

I think it depends on whether they are actually trying to convince you that what you are feeling or experiencing isnt real.

If the relationship is between lawyers, maybe not. They tend to argue a lot to keep their wits about them. If the relationship is imbalanced, where one person is controlling and the other is giving or receiving too much, then yes, perhaps it is a form of gaslighting when the person has already made up their mind on who you are in the relationship and how they should treat you, thus making any changes or boundary setting you do be something out of your character (in their mind), which would then spark a counterargument on your part, and then start the gaslighting process, if they don't get their way. But if they are constantly pointing out your flaws, then they might not be gaslighting and instead just be toxic. That's not helpful at all to you, regardless of what "flaws" you may need to work on. I used to have former friends who picked on my flaws all the time, and I just could not live up to their standards as a friend. I let go of such toxic or unfit relationships because it wasn't going to help me; instead, it actually hindered me.

The term "gaslighting" is being thrown around more and more these days, due to its use in political arenas. So, it's important to perhaps reframe what is going on through examples and details, as opposed to labels and generalizations.

I don't see it as gaslighting. Some people just need to argue and be right.

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Originally Posted by Marie123 I don't see it as gaslighting. Some people just need to argue and be right.

Yes but arguing to be right is different than trying to convince you that your experiences are not real. I am with @SprinkL3 with this one, the gaslighting term is thrown around alot.

I wouldn't say it's necessarily gaslighting, but I do know some people who really seem to enjoy arguing, my brother being one. I find it best not to engage when he gets like that.

Could you provide some examples of what this person says during these fights? Being argumentative doesn’t necessarily means that people gaslight you.