[doppleganger]

Looking for insights into my partner's condition. She's in her mid-30's, polyamorous, submissive, masochist, and all her life has craved for a demon partner who is fearsome and terrifies her but is also loving/caring (I am not fearsome/terrifying). She underwent trauma in childhood with a narcissistic/strict father who is deeply religious/conservative, encouraged submissive/conformist behavior and meted out corporal punishment (spanking). Many of the behaviors that excite/draw her in this demon partner were exhibited by her father during her childhood - angry outbursts, erratic driving when angry, physical expression of anger. This demon craving has gotten to a point where she is no longer trusting of healthy/supportive relationships, viewing them as somewhat unnatural and not meant to last, even if they have a healthy dose of a supportive Dominance/Submission (D/S) dynamic that she craves. I am looking for insights from experts or people who've seen or experienced such behavior before and can recommend possible avenues of diagnosis/therapy to pursue. My own research on this behavior has led me to Complex PTSD and Trauma from narcissistic parenting, but yet to find a solid smoking gun that ties it all together.

[Yaowen]

I wish I knew how to help, but sadly I do not know much about various psychological conditions and sometimes a little knowledge is worse than none. Perhaps others here on the Forums will have some experience, knowledge and insight and will kindly share it with you. Maybe talking to a psychotherapist on behalf of your partner might yield some clues. Don't know, though, if that would help or not. So sorry that I don't know how to be helpful here!

Sounds like you already have a why / reason. On this forum, we can't diagnose. Though maybe someone can point you in a direction that might be helpful.

[Marie123]

Would she agree to go into therapy?

[Open Eyes]

She may herself have narcissistic tendencies and craves drama in order to feel satisfaction.

This is not something you can fix. This is something she has to want to change and sometimes a person remains this way their entire life.

Is she self medicating with alcohol and/or drugs with this ongoing drama ?

When chaos is a person’s normal their partner ends up getting pulled into it and it is constant up and down drama. Not healthy for a partners mental health.

[mountainstream]

Craving drama, perhaps. Is she in therapy? I am not aware of experts who post here. I think you already have a why (reason)?

[mote.of.soul]

Just sounds like some sort of fantasy or sexual fantasy possibly influenced by how life has shaped her, sure. A lot of people have fantasies and fetishes etc., and, to me, it just sounds like she was trying to be honest with you by sharing it. It really doesn't sound that 'shocking' or what have you.