[annoyedgrunt84]

I can never parse out when I need to stand up for myself, or when I might really need to take what people say about me into consideration.

[TheGal]

Could you give a concrete example?

[Marie123]

You can ask yourself......is this criticism valid?

[eskielover]

I usually don't respond immediately. I think on it & determine if any of the criticism applies. If the person is not a close friend I may just blow them off totally if I disagree & not bother to respond. If a real friend then I will get into discussion after thinking on what was said as criticism. Sometimes there is some truth if it comes from a friend who knows me but that doesn't mean that all applies. If a discussion feels right about it then I make sure it is discussed. Sometimes I just blow off what they said if I know they ate totally off base. No need in creating an argument just to defend myself when I know I am right. If the issue comes up more than once, then I do address it.

I always hear criticism & I always analyze it to determine if any of it applies

[MuseumGhost]

Once again, eskie has read my mind, and replied with almost exactly what I would have written.

In addition, I received an over-abundance of criticism as a child, from a very young age. My mother was impossible to please, and my father sometimes fell into that trap, too. (He was much tougher on my brother.) I have a sister who tormented me, right in step with my parents. I had narcissistic acquaintances who heaped it on me every chance they found. So, to me, criticism can cut me very deeply, and bring up enormous trust issues, naturally.

I do still heed it, if it's legit. I examine myself, my motives and my behaviour on a regular basis. If it can help me along to a smoother path, and one of less harm for those around me, I will certainly try and make changes.

But if I suspect it is an attempt to denigrate, subjugate, and mess with my head, then I will not listen to it. It becomes useless and unhelpful, and is simply the stuff of egotistical campaigns against my person.

[lovableball]

I believe that the kind of criticism we could benefit from is always specific, meaning when someone tells you there's something wrong with this particular thing you did. This is when I'll take it into consideration. Sadly the other type - that makes a person feel like they can't do anything right because they didn't do this one thing right - is very common. If possible, stay away from these people.