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Old 08-30-2022, 04:47 AM   #1
Illusions99
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Default Relationship with Therapist

I'm so confused, I have no idea where to look for help. I feel like some boundaries have been blurred for some time with my Therapist. In a very intense session we spoke about my core belief that I am not worthy of love. He challenged me to the point of tears. He explained that he had been debating about telling me some thing, but said that he has gone out of his way to make sure that I can see him, that I was the only one that he did certain things for and that acts of kindness like that also show that there is love. Prior to this I had explained that my mentality with life is to live day by day, and he insisted that he wanted to see me happy living life in 15 years time. I said you wont be around, and he insisted that he would, that he had his ways. Am I reading too much into this? Are the lines really blurred? He also suggested therapy may not be for me, that he would rather spend a week with me at home? Maybe Im just over thinking this too much.
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Old 08-30-2022, 12:30 PM   #2
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Default Re: Relationship with Therapist

Hi @Illusions99 welcome to MSF My Support Forum. I am sorry you have a confusing situation with your therapist. That must make getting benefit from therapy be very difficult.

You said
Quote:
He explained that he had been debating about telling me some thing, but said that he has gone out of his way to make sure that I can see him, that I was the only one that he did certain things for and that acts of kindness like that also show that there is love.
I have never been in a therapy session where the therapist went out of their way to show me "there is love" and the fact that they had to debate to tell you this is to me a caution flag.

Quote:
he insisted that he wanted to see me happy living life in 15 years time.
this would be my wish for you that you be happy the rest of your life, but that is totally something only in your ocntrol.

Up to this point in your story, this is something I would not be sure of what they meant. It is not totally clear except they mentioned their acts of kindness as love. Giving them the benefit of the doubt, maybe they were trying to show you that many people are kind to you and that is an act of love by many people.

Then you said he said this
Quote:
He also suggested therapy may not be for me, that he would rather spend a week with me at home?
Make sure in your mind that he meant spend a week with your therapist in their home.

If he did, at least in the US, that sounds like it could be leading up to an inappropriate relationship with the therapist living in their home. The therapist in this case would become like a romantic partner or roommate. Neither of those roles is appropriate for a therapist to have with a client, although you could confirm that with other mental health professionals.

I think if you have this much confusion with your therapist and what their intentions are, getting benefit from therapy with them must be very difficult.

What you need to do about that is up to you, but what I want out of a therapeutic situation is for someone to advise me for an hour on how to get my life back together. Anything more personal than that would violate the trust I put in my therapist and I would feel they are using therapy as a way to create a personal relationship with me. That is not what I want from a therapist. It is too confusing. I have enough confusion in my life.

If the therapist thinks therapy is not for you, then maybe that is an indication that your therapist does not have the ability to help you anymore.

Remember everything I said is based on one sentence you said
Quote:
He also suggested therapy may not be for me, that he would rather spend a week with me at home?
In my mind if he is not planning to do therapy during that week, what are his intentions? It may not be fair to take one sentence out of context but I think that that and the confusion you feel are maybe signs that you are struggling to get benefit from this therapy situation.

If you have doubts maybe they can clarify what they mean. Hope you get the support you are looking for @CANDC
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Old 08-30-2022, 03:38 PM   #3
unaluna
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Old 08-31-2022, 01:16 AM   #4
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He suggested you spend a week in his home? Id ask him directly what he meant and I think its in your interest to stop seeing him. Ive never heard of therapists suggesting such insane arrangements. Completely inappropriate and creepy
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Old 08-31-2022, 06:38 AM   #5
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Sounds unethical.
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Old 09-13-2022, 09:57 PM   #6
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No. Just...no.
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Old 09-14-2022, 09:26 AM   #7
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No. You are not overthinking this too much. He is predatory - he is not being professional, he is not ethical, he is being creepy. Trust your instincts, they are spot on. And run.

PS: He deserves to be reported as well (e.g. he has his ways?!... therapy is not for you but he can spend a week in your home?!). Inappropriate.
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Old 09-26-2022, 09:33 AM   #8
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Sounds like he is coming onto you. Highly unethical. I would get out of there!
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