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IfTheSkyOpened
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Old Jan 03, 2023 at 09:26 PM
  #1
 
Hi. Iíve recently been separated from my partner of 15 years. Iíve been out dating again and I hate it. Iím a pretty even keeled personÖ. But I have to be doing something wrong.
It seems like every person I actually get excited about , suddenly says they are not interested. I go back through texts and theyíre all saying how much they enjoyed our dates, canít wait to see me again and then suddenly ďI met someone else Iím more intoĒ.
I have been reflecting on this and I have to say- this is actually something that happened to me a lot when I was younger, too. Thereís been one relationship I had where both of us were actually crazy about each other but because of different goals we went out separate ways (we are still good friends to this day though). I actually wasnít really hyped up about my 15 year long relationship, I mean I love him and I found him attractive but it was almost like, two people who could stand each other and found each other attractive enough 😆 we just sort of kept dating and had a kid and he did some really stupid things and so we arenít together anymore , We donít hate each other , so thatís good... But anyway.. original point.
I donít really want advice or need to hear about how itíll all be good - I just want to know if there is anyone thatís experienced this and to just Ö idk let me know Iím not alone ? I feel quite sad about it . Iíve had to take a break from the dating apps because my little heart canít take it. My old 36 year old heart haha. So much rejection, so much sort of like .. small grief over the things I thought were going to happen , etc. Iím just a little sad.
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Old Jan 04, 2023 at 01:50 PM
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I had to try since I spent most of my 30s caring for my father who had dementia. I didn't like it. I dated one woman and adopted her kitten.Kitty is much better company. The girl is ,long gone.

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Old Jan 04, 2023 at 05:20 PM
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Personally i gave up after my mental health went down the toilet, i hope you find someone else
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Old Jan 04, 2023 at 05:22 PM
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I mean, I donít think I can keep going at this rate. Took a break from the apps. We will see when I can find the courage to do it again. I donít mind being single , I actually like having the house to myself.
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Old Jan 04, 2023 at 09:54 PM
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I hate dating to I prayed my sex drive would go away it did. I'm happy by myself now.

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Old Jan 05, 2023 at 07:01 AM
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Hey, look at the bright side! You're only 36. I am 52, facing the dating scene again with a divorce on the horizon. Yes, we have to weed through all the frogs, which does suck. Maybe you're on the wrong sites... maybe try different avenues for meeting singles? Activity and interest groups - in-person groups? That's what I plan on doing rather than trying dating sites. I hate those. Too easy to be passed up for someone better looking.

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Old Jan 10, 2023 at 07:39 AM
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I thought this article may explain what you are experiencing:

Why More Isn’t Always Better in Online Dating | Psychology Today

DíAngelo and Toma found that people who had more options when selecting a partner in online dating were less satisfied with their choices and more likely to reverse their decisions than those who were shown fewer profiles. Itís also possible that, over time, the number of options available in online dating could negatively affect relationships by making partners seem disposable and sending the message that someone better is always just a swipe away. In our own research, weíve found people sometimes struggle with knowing when to quit online dating and commit to someone, thus forgoing other alternatives in a partner.

In my case, I met my husband at 37.
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Old Jan 11, 2023 at 06:26 AM
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I know what you mean. I was divorced at age 50 and for the next 20 years I was off/on again on the dating sites....just abysmal!
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Old Apr 18, 2023 at 04:10 PM
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and maybe the girl that they were interested in found someone else she was interested in and it goes on and on unfortunately that's the way the dating scene is, isn't it. haha. its the amount of options people have available to them who knows you may eventually meet someone on there, you just can't tell how long its going to be. Try not to get overly excited about people too early on though, see it as like you are going to a job interview and treat it as such only the difference is you can have fun but also at the same time being practical. I hope you will be successful
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Old Apr 18, 2023 at 07:29 PM
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Iíve met my husband at 49, married at 50. Happy marriage.

Iíve met some difficult people prior. I donít think it matters where we meet them.

Iíve got about same quality regardless where I met them. I didnít notice any difference in quality of dating partners or quality of relationship regardless if it was online or irl or if I meet one person or I have a chance to meet 10.

I also donít think that when you meet someone with a great potential, you want to keep looking. Thatís not mine or my friends or relatives experience. When you meet the right person, you wonít have interest in dating others. When you know you know.

Yes dating could be sad experience. I donít know anyone who likes it. Itís not fun so I hear you.
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