Identity issues

Hello,

Not sure if this is the proper place for this and will move it if I have to.

Growing up, I only had my mother and it was a Mexican American household. By the time I got to HS, I had a few comments about my skin color, namely "it looks black mixed with white" tan/caramel color
I brought this up to my mother and she said my father's side is mixed black and I'm cursed. 🙄 (Possibly narcissistic mother. Don't get me started on her because I could write a novel).
So that's something I slowly got used to during the years.
When meeting my father ( approx. 7 years ago) I also discovered he's half Israeli. So now I have to get used to that. For some reason, if I mention it to anyone, they expect me to be Jewish 🤦🏾*♀️

A few weeks ago, my mother had brought it up that she and the family are associated with an Apache tribe.

At this point, it's safe to say I'm a rainbow but it's hectic to keep up with. Not sure exactly how to feel.

I can definitely identify with you since I have many races and nationalities in my background. Wish I knew what to say that would be helpful to you. Now that I am old, it is "oldness" that seems to define me, at least in other people's eyes.

I think first and foremost, just look at yourself as inherently a human being and look at others as human beings too - no real need to go further than that. Bypass all of the superficial stuff like physical appearance and skin color etc (maybe heritage and culture are important to you though, and that's fine) but place the importance of 'who you are' firstly on the fundamental fact that you're equal to everyone as a human being. Always come back to that as it can remove any confusions and stereotypings and judgements etc that all of these other constructs may give rise to in the mind. That's my basic approach, friend.🙏

Hello and welcome to MSF!

If you took a DNA test, it would confirm your genetic makeup. One thing is certain, you aren’t cursed. Some cool, famous people are mixed race black and Jewish, like Lenny Kravitz and Drake.

I get where you're coming from, I'm mixed as well with Greek, Apache, Dutch and Spanish (Roots date back to Basque and Sephardic Jews). I've been approached by many people asking if I'm biracial because of my olive skin, facial features and ringlet curly hair. I will say it is very hard knowing where I fit in as well, but at this current time I've given up on fitting into social functions and society. I don't want to belong, and I want to be left alone. My mother is white holds some racist type views despite her raising us up from a family where we learned to be accepting of people's differences, I don't know what made her change.

But even trying to find my Indigenous roots, it's left me stuck because once you learn the indigenous community doesn't like Mixed white blood they hold that view of us as tainted and not Indigenous at all. But I sure do remember my Apache grandmother loving us, before she passed away from lupus complications when I was four. When I look at pictures and see myself I see a reflection of my grandmother Lorry. And even other family members would say I definitely look like her,

It's like people want me to belong, yet at the same time I'm being told we don't want to accept you for who you are. This is what has me torn.

I've decided to stay away from all forms of Identity, and call myself a blank slate. Even how I dress, what my interests, and whatever personality people say I have, I don't associate myself with.

Being aloof and disconnected from the world around me is my way of coping with this.

I totally agree with Mote of soul.....look at yourself as a human being & get away from the racial thinking & take that stand if anyone asks you. Saves a lot of identity issues because you are human & you bleed red blood just like every other human