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  #1  
Old Dec 26, 2009, 08:13 AM
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modelcarguy modelcarguy is offline
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Member Since: May 2009
Location: Ohio
Posts: 314
I don't do windows because ... I love birds and don't want one to run into a clean window and get hurt.
I don't wax floors because ... I am terrified a guest will slip, hurt themselves, I'll feel terrible and they may sue me.
I don't mind the dust bunnies because .. They are very good company, I have named most of them, and they agree with everything I say.
I don't disturb cobwebs because ... I want every creature to have a home of their own.
I don't Spring Clean because .. I love all the seasons and don't want the others to get jealous.
I don't pull weeds in the garden because ... I don't want to get in God's way, he is an excellent designer.
I don't do gourmet meals when I entertain because ... I don't want my guests to stress out over what to make when they invite me over for dinner.
I don't iron because ... I choose to believe them when they say "Permanent Press".
I don't stress much on anything because ... "A Type" personalities die young and I want to stick around and become a wrinkled up crusty ol' man!!!!

Add some more!
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Catherine2, Elysium, Indie'sOK, pegasus, thunderbear, VickiesPath, ZilchHour

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  #2  
Old Dec 26, 2009, 11:12 AM
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kasc kasc is offline
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Member Since: Dec 2009
Location: coldest place on earth!
Posts: 47
I love this one...thank you!
I clean houses for a living, but this still cracked me up!
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  #3  
Old Dec 26, 2009, 11:17 AM
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fearfulfrog fearfulfrog is offline
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Member Since: Nov 2007
Location: New Hampshire
Posts: 145
I don't clean out the fridge- I'm a scientist and am waiting to see what I can culture!

(I am surfing right now to avoid the holiday dishes)
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modelcarguy, VickiesPath
  #4  
Old Dec 26, 2009, 01:09 PM
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ECHOES ECHOES is offline
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Member Since: Aug 2007
Location: West of Tampa Bay, East of the Gulf of Mexico
Posts: 14,352
My favorite smart-aleck wall hanging:

"I cleaned last week.
Sorry you missed it."
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modelcarguy, VickiesPath
  #5  
Old Dec 26, 2009, 01:40 PM
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fearfulfrog fearfulfrog is offline
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Member Since: Nov 2007
Location: New Hampshire
Posts: 145
If you have come to visit me- WELCOME. If you have come to see my house, please give on months notice.
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ECHOES, modelcarguy, VickiesPath
  #6  
Old Dec 27, 2009, 12:35 AM
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Elysium Elysium is offline
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Member Since: Mar 2009
Location: So Cal
Posts: 3,342
My Fav....

If you don't want cat/dog hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture!!
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Thoughts on house cleaning
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ECHOES, fearfulfrog, JayS, katheryn, modelcarguy, VickiesPath
  #7  
Old Dec 27, 2009, 01:28 AM
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JayS JayS is offline
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Member Since: May 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,017
Quote:
Originally Posted by Elysium View Post
My Fav....

If you don't want cat/dog hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture!!
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Thoughts on house cleaning

Thoughts on house cleaning
Cuteness, guaranteed to put a smile on your face.
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fearfulfrog
  #8  
Old Dec 27, 2009, 11:58 AM
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VickiesPath VickiesPath is offline
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Member Since: Jul 2009
Location: Phoenix, AZ, USA
Posts: 2,779
My two favorites:

My mother had a little doll with a sign on it that said: "Housework makes you ugly."

And the other: "Around here, dog and cat fur are considered condiments."
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Thoughts on house cleaningVickie
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ECHOES, imachikinlol, Indie'sOK, modelcarguy
  #9  
Old Dec 27, 2009, 05:55 PM
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Indie'sOK Indie'sOK is offline
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Member Since: Jun 2009
Location: Michigan
Posts: 3,584
I love the sign that says "home is where the cat hair sticks to everything BUT the cat" My aunt has this hanging in her house.
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Only you can prevent neurotypical jerkiness!

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ECHOES, fearfulfrog, modelcarguy, VickiesPath
  #10  
Old Dec 31, 2009, 09:22 PM
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Yoda Yoda is offline
who reads this, anyway?
 
Member Since: Oct 2006
Location: Appalachia
Posts: 9,968
Don't cook. Don't clean. No man will ever make love to a woman because she waxed the linoleum - "My God, the floor's immaculate. Lie down, you hot b**ch."
~ Joan Rivers
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The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well. anonymous
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fearfulfrog, modelcarguy
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