Should I be on TLC's reality show "Hoarding: Buried Alive"

TLC has a new reality show about people who hoard. I have watched two episodes and have a couple more on my DVR to watch later. The producer is looking for people to be on the next season's show. I emailed and described my hoarding. The producer has returned my email and today left a voice mail. I have not yet returned her phone call.

My son initially agreed to participate if they choose us for a show but after I emailed details of our household he became hesitant. The show uses different names for people if they choose. My son now says he would not want to appear except for his voice. The hoarding is mostly my problem so I think we could work with it. My son has not yet seen the show so perhaps after viewing he will be more willing to participate.

My hoarding is a big problem. Because of the clutter the house is difficult to walk through. My refrigerator does not work well and my sister offered to buy me a new one but some of the clutter has to be cleared to deliver it. I need an electrician and a plumber but want to clear work space for them.

I think the show may be an opportunity to get some help for my problem. It would be a bit embarrassing to have them show the condition of my house but if they can help me solve it then it would be worth it.

What should I ask the producer when I return her phone call?

What do you think Yoda should do?

Since I haven't seen the show, let me ask you - do they actually help the person with their hoarding problem? Would they help you clear stuff out, find appropriate places and help you organize your stuff. Will they buy you the organizational items? You also want to know how long will it take - the filming. Will they actually help you or make a spectacle out of you?

I saw on Oprah - they said it's not enough to treat the problem with just organizing, clearing and cleaning. The psychological root has to be dealt with as well. Good luck in deciding ((Yoda)).

This could be a great opportunity for you to get your environment back on track. I think one question you should ask is what does "help" mean exactly. What would it entail? Would they just come in and help you clean, organize, and haul away your clutter, or will they also offer some sort of funds for after care?

Some of these shows do offer after care and provide some therapy and organizational training but I don't know for how long or I they will make you contribute any $$.

I can imagine that doing a show like this could be very emotional and difficult. They will give you different names but they may want you to share about how you came to find yourself in your current situation. It's all up to whether you'd be comfortable doing that and allowing yourself to be vulnerable enough to open your home to camera crews, lighting techs, and any one else that would eventually be watching. If you're up for that, then you should go with it.

Also, would your living environment being exposed cause any negative consequences on you, such as a landlord finding out and being upset or friends/family finding out that don't know your issues. I think the idea can have pros and cons.

Keep us posted.

Wouldn't it be nice if you could be on Extreme Makeover and get a new house.

If you decide not to do it, I thinj there are some companys out there that go in and unhoard your house based on an agreed upon estimate. But yeah, the decision to go the show is up to you and your family. Make sure you will get to see what airs before ht is shown to the public.

They hire social worker, professional organizer or a psychologist in the episodes I have watched. One hoarder said she had spent 25 hours working with the professional assigned to her and there was progress visible in the home. In another episode they brought three men to start sorting the clutter into piles to give away, toss or keep. I don't know if they will do followup later to see if the efforts have helped. The show is an hour long and focuses on two households per episode.

Those are good questions about cost and time commitment. I will ask.

I aqree with Oprah you have to get the clutter out of your head first. I sought help several years ago. My personal therapist always said, why is nobody helping you? Why have the program therapists and your Pdoc not asked for somebody to help you? I mailed pics to my Pdoc and sent a hoarding survey that objectively measured effect on living space but got no response from him. The outpatient program therapists said I was able bodied and despite my mental illness I was high functioning and I should do it myself. I am not high functioning though. I am not stupid but I have not worked since 1999. The therapists said I had analyzed the problem in my head enough and it was time to get into the doing part.

I realize I risk public embarrassment when the condition of my house airs. I want to protect my son but I really don't give a rat's #ss what anybody thinks about me anymore. The worst thing is I am afraid my house will be condemned as a health hazard. A neighbor complained to county officials a few months ago about my yard and I still have not got it fixed. When I was in the outpatient program a few years ago a social worker came to my house to check on me after I had missed a few days and he said they could take my son away from me because of the condition of the house. He didn't help me get help though. My son is no longer a minor so I don't have that specific problem. Just fear they will take my animals or condemn the house.

That's tough. If things are bad enough that you fear your house will be condemned then it seems you really do need some assistance. On the other hand, it would be possible to lose your pets depending on their health and living conditions. Are their spaces clean? Is there feces or urine anywhere? I know you have horses, are they healthy and in good shape, do you clean their stalls, etc. Those are the things that they will look at as far as the animals go. The show people may not do anything to take anything away from you, but after the show airs, it is possible that the local authorities will get more involved in your life; checking on your animals, etc.

Good luck with whatever you decide.

Yoda - I'd probably do it if the opportunity presented itself. As for the possibilities of condemning your house, I'm thinking it may not be so likely to happen. And as far as I know they won't take away pets unless there is clear neglect or animal abuse and even then the SPCA/etc can be very slow to act.

good luck with whatever you decide - if you think you'd benefit from it, DO IT.

The animals are healthy and well fed and I take them to the vet when they are ill. I spent $1000 on one of my ill cats over a six month period in 2007 but the cat died. The CDC came to evaluate my farm because the cat had an infectious disease, diphtheria, that had never been found in a cat before. One other cat was infected but not showing symptoms. Having three people from the CDC evaluate my farm and animals for most of a day was way more stressful than a TV show, I imagine. We still don't know how the cats became infected or if they could transmit the infection to humans. The kitten slept with me until she died.

The barn is not in good condition. I have not cleaned the stalls for a couple of years. I put my horse in the barn during cold weather but he can go into a two acre pasture at will. I can't put him back in the barn until I find somebody to help me repair fence in that field so he is in another field. I won't put him back in the barn until October most likely.

I was going to mention to the producer that I have had eight wild snakes and numerous lizards in my house since I have lived there but decided not to tell them in case somebody has a phobia. I'll just wait until the TV crew gets here and say, oh by the way if you see a snake...

I've watched this show many times. It's a great show.
From what I could tell about the show and those who sought help, there was a great deal of professional assigned help.

I agree that you definitely need to compile a list of concerns to ask the producer prior to making any agreement.
Just be honest with the producer. Tell her the condition of everything, the situation you've been struggling with and your worries and concerns about any repercussions to your agreement for being on the show.

I think this is great, Yoda. I'm so all for it for you, so long as you are good with it for yourself.
(I also think that once your son views the show and obtain a better understanding of how they construct it, he more than likely will feel more comfy with it).

I'm wishing you the best with this..

Shangrala

I am a bit of a hoarder myself, I know why am this way too. When I was 15 my mother and her boyfriend got involved with bad people and I ended up losing all my belongings, and on top of that I've had friends and younger family members steal from me. So I am incredibly protective of my stuff now, (I'm still not over throwing out my cuticle remover, I could still rummage through the garbage bags and find it), I have lived in my house for 4 and a half years and I guess you could say I'm lucky to have a storage room and built in cupboards in 2 rooms so I can hide everything.

I have recently decided to do some spring cleaning and I'm finding it hard because 1. I haven't got a lot of energy, and 2. I am attached to a lot of stuff. I've already thrown out at least 10 garbage bags, and I still haven't done my bedroom or the storage room, that's going to be at least another 4 or 5. I've thrown out bills from when I moved in here, notes from study from 3 years ago, sooo many clothes...

I think this could be good for you, you will get your house clean which is the first start, you will have someone help you (my mother was meant to help me but she suddenly stopped one day so I'm doing it all on my own), and when you see on the TV how you are actually living it will be an eye opener for you. Seeing it from a different angle will give you a different perspective of it, and it might give you that bit of motivation to work on keeping yourself from falling into it again.

i say go 4 it and i hope u git teh help need!!! gl!!!

I like the show.

I say go for it, you have so much to gain.

Family members don't have to be a part of it if they don't choose to be. Could you do it without your son being involved, since hs is feeling like he would rather not?

I think you should try it too. I would tell them about the snakes. Perhaps there would be liability issues if someone was hurt/bitten and you didn't tell them? Plus, if someone does have a phobia of snakes who's on the crew, it would be awful for them to just walk into that-then find out.

I have to agree.
These people are there to help you and it's in your best interest that they 'want' to be there for you throughout it all.

Even after you inform them ahead of time and there happens to be one of the crew who is sensitive to reptiles, I'm certain that the producer can work it out to replace that individual, or pay more to compensate...lol...even though I can only imagine they're already earning some decent $$.
Perhaps this might be a good opportunity to have them bring in some traps to capture them so you can have them placed elsewhere? (At least you have no worries about any rodents within your home......).



Shangrala

I have not seen the show and really feel it depends on how the show makes people look .....

I applied with my now 20 year old but then 14 year old to go on a show like Opahs regarding boot camp for him. However when I received the call about it I was being transfered to a show more like Gerry Springers.

(yes we have UK versions of them lol)

Once I realised this I cancelled going on the show as I knew that it would come across on the TV as totally diff to how I would be comfortable.

Good luck with whatever you decide

Hi, Yoda,
I've watched several episodes of the show. For some reason, I find this program hard to watch through whole episodes, because it's so painful for the family as well as for the hoarder. I've also seen one show where animals were taken away, at least some of them, but the woman really didn't even know how many she had, and some were found dead. I also saw one program where a house was condemned and to be torn down after removing all the clutter because it was found to be in such bad shape.

I am not telling you this to try to dissuade you from participating in the program, but from what I've watched, it is a very traumatic process for the hoarder to have to let go of all the stuff. That's why they have the social worker and the psychologist, and also for the family members.

If you decide to participate, I say go for it, and I hope it will be all positive for you.


Patty

My house could be condemned because the clutter is blocking an exit in the living room. The kitchen is no longer used for cooking except the coffee pot and the microwave but we are not risking food poisoning because we eat out so that should not be a problem. I need to hire a plumber and an electrician and replace my refrigerator and dryer and fix the garage door. There a couple of large holes in the drywall in the hall where my BF slammed my head through the wall once and my shoulder another time. But structurally I think it is okay.

Probably the most costly problem to fix would be repair my septic tank that is not up to code. Several years ago the health department came to my house and said they were doing a survey to determine how much waste water was draining into the creek by our country road. They knew it was an issue and I thought I would get in trouble and be fined or at least be forced to fix it but nothing happened. This week I saw lots of little flags alongside the road and I think they may be ready to put sewer in. That would be nice so then I wouldn't have to worry anymore about the septic.

So far in 2010 I have not seen in any snakes but we have seen one lizard in the house. But with all the clutter they could be there unseen. If they choose my house I will tell them about the reptiles but I think I will wait to see if they are interested anyway.

I think you are incredibly brave, Yoda. Either way, I hope the experience is helpful and healing for you.

The producer sent my son a DVD with an episode and my son said the house on the show looks like our house and he is wanting to participate now. I talked to the producer for forty-five minutes yesterday. She was asking me about my childhood and stuff. I mentioned my abusive BF that resulted in my PTSD. She knows I don't want to focus on that part of my life but we'll probably reference it. That part makes me anxious somewhat.

Here is a pic of the current state of my household:

That's exactly what my bedroom looks like right now!

Amazing how i have become a rat pack person since my kids moved out...
I went from Mrs. Clean and "a place for everything and everything in it's place",
to Who cares anymore?---ugh amazing transition----

(((yoda)))-by all means, if it feels right for you to do it; do it!--JMO theo

The first things I notice are the horse statues...lol.
You're going through with the show, then? That'd be great......

Just so you know, you're not alone, Yoda. My computer room resembles yours. How it got this way, I think, is due to my laziness or, mere lack of motivation to keep it clean...not sure. Regardless, I hate it...yet, care not to manage it...NOT good. I can relate, though.......

Shangrala

Yoda, I have watched this show on a regular basis and have found it to be for the most part, a positive experience for most of the people involved. It can be traumatic for the person who has this sickness and for their family but the show does provide a t that works through the mess, not only in the house but also in emotions that involve this illness. Not all the people involved really understand that the problem is not the mess but the emotions that started the cycle of hoarding. But for a lot of families, it can be a first step that can evolve into counseling and finding the real reasons that lie behind the mess. This show has brought me to tears more than a few times. Even though I don't have this particular illness, it gives me insight into my own issues and I always come away from the episodes wishing I was there just to hold their hand and be there for them. You show a lot of courage by facing your problems and this show could be a start for a healthy path to follow. This show does not cure people but maybe it can help the people suffering, a glimmer of hope. I'm with the other posters with their suggestions of asking questions and finding out all you can about their procedures about the way the show handles things. I admire your courage for trying to get help for yourself. I wish you nothing but the best. Keep the faith.

I have had serious hoarding problems myself and I was very touched when I watched several of the episodes.

I would suggest be very cautious, however, in deciding whether or not you want to do this show. Reality shows are created and aired for one reason: to make MONEY for the producer and the TV station. Their concern for you is secondary. The help they provide for the individual willing to let them come into his/her home basically helps them to get the individual to cooperate so that the station can have a show.

Hoarding disorder is very painful. There are places to reach out to for help. Your local community mental health department is a place to start. In some cities, there are people who will help by coming to your home and helping you clean. Best of luck. You are not alone.