[silentandscared]

l never realised just what a whole range of feelings and emotions would come to the surface. some of them happy , some of them real sad, some of them horrid and scary. The emotional rollercoster is extreme in all ways and still not having a final decision on a house we want to move into is driving me crazy.

l have made all the calls and asked all who need to do stuff to please hurry and do it but alas no one seems to quite understand. If one more person says "you just have to be patient" l think l will go completely crackers.

In 9 days time l have to move out of here and move in with my parents hopefully very short term and know that this could prove very destructive of all l have worked so hard on in the last 2 years but right now l dont have a choice as we have no where to go the court would not allow no extension on us leaving for even another week.

My mind is in overdrive, my emotions, thougts and feelings are extreme and l am triggering myself even packing the house. I know its sounds crazy but as l open another cupboard its like thats where all my stuff had been stored away until now. Each room is in total disarray as l box and pack my old life away once again in preparation for trying to start a new life free from harm way.

so why am l scared?????? why do l feel so totaly alone????? why do l feel that the reality is l have no friends irl who are here with me and prepared to come and help me right now, right here , today.............because it just dawned on me today
it is not just wild thoughts............This is the TRUTH the way it is and deep down l suppose they just confirmed what l already knew.

Maybe right now l just feel sorry for myself, l am moaning and complaining, l am exhausted physically,mentally and emotionally and l am at a point where l just feel like l have nothing left to give.............sorry to post all this here but l just had to get it out somehow sorry if it dont make sense but l guess my mind is just not sorting stuff the way it should

sas xx

silentandscared, may this time be just a bump in the road to a better life.

[Naturefreak]

(((silentandscared)))

[seeker1950]

Silent!
I know how you feel! I've moved three times since my divorce. The last move was the most traumatic as I rid out a lot of stuff. Yes...boxing everything up, in itself, is traumatic. But, I can certainly understand your added anxiety since you don't know where you're going to end up, PLUS, in the meantime you must move to your parents' house.
Please continue to keep us posted on your transition, as we do care here, and many of us know exactly what you are feeling!
Patty

((((((silentand scared)))))--This is the source of my own panic attacks, and fierce angst. My lease is up June 30th, and I want out of this horrid place--I want to go home. I will not be able to afford the rent here, and I have no money to move there.

Homeless either here, in Nevada, or back home in NYC.....I choose NYC.

I am alone, and went and sprained my right ankle two weeks ago--my driving foot.

S'okay, I know it will be okay.....I am ne'er given more than I can handle.

There is a plan--there is a way--I have no control, so I give it away.

It's so hard to move into the unknown as you get older-----I thought I had it all set up---"under control" when I owned my house in NY--then poof........................

Know that song "I might be Crazy"? I know i have accepted, I have changed what I could, and now I have the Wisdom of knowing that it is not in my hands anymore.

I await Divine Providence to show me the way home.......................

I've had to move 3 times in the last 4 years; after working extremely hard to get myself into the position of being "set for life" for a whole 50 years....it is very painful--and daunting my empathy for you and yours is great.

I can only say, that as you pack, and sort, believe me that I would be there with you to help, as one fellow human being ought to help another..."friends"--no, they don't want to know , you know.

Old Judy Collins song---
"tin can at my feet; think I'll kick it down the street: that's the way to treat a friend...human kindness overflowin, an I think it's gonna rain today"-----

Your post touched me deeply...right where I hurt...I'm there with you in heart, spirit, and mind--------I send you all of them as you pack.

Please don't forget to talk to me---I'm right there with you---xoxoxotheo

Thank you for posting my post for me------we are kin in all we feel right now...oxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

[Sabrina]

You seem to have a lot going on, it must be hard not to feel overwhelmed. Be gentle with yourself. (((((silentandscared)))))

(((((silentand scared)))))--with you all the way--hugs- theo

How are you doing, silentandscared?