[NuckingFutz]

What part does compassion play in who you are in regards to mental illness? Let's here your take on this?

[sanityseeker]

Hi Nuc.... not quite sure I understand your question but I will offer some thoughts on the topic of compassion and see if I hit the mark. I think I am a pretty compassionate person. I care about others and can usually empathize with most situations. I crave compassion for myself but likely because I don't have any towards myself I don't feel as though I get it from anyone else either.

In relation to my mental illness I tend to judge myself harshly and expect others around me do the same. I consider myself weak and a failure for being such a victim to my condition. I think at some level I choose to be a victim and I find that pretty dispicable. Sometimes I know better but something always causes me to question it all again.

I look back at who I once was and am embarrassed for who I have become. I feel responsible and therefore unworthy of compassion. Why care for someone who inflicts pain on themselves? Why care for someone who is to unable or unwilling to help themselves? I don't feel worthy of compassion. It takes a lot of self talk to grant myself the grace to be okay with who I am and not beat myself up for not being who I think I should be. I have to always affirm myself without evidence.

[El-ahrairah]

Umm I'm a bit fuzzy about the question too, but I'll try and see if I have answered it right :3.

Being that I have borderlines I guess at times I care so so much and I'm willing to do anything for that person and I put myself out there a lot for them, I guess that's compassion...
However I suppose it's thin due to the moment that person messes up or I feel is untrustworthy all of that diminishes in a blink of an eye ;x

I love helping people out, it makes me feel good, but I guess for the few I help out I over do it so bad and I end up stepping on my own foot it seems at times...

[NuckingFutz]

You all have understood I think. Compassion towards yourself and others who have MI. Is that better? I am learning to have more compassion towards myself and others, especially the challenging ones (those creatures we label monsters).

[sanityseeker]

I think I know what you mean Bakery. I high tail it in the other direction when someone criticizes or discounts my efforts to do a kindness for them. Once someone hurts me I am quick to run away.

I also notice that I am much more comfortable doing a kindness than receiving any. Even though I give freely with no strings attached I think others do attach strings and that makes me feel vulnerable.

[sanityseeker]

Oh yea.... I have huge compassion for even the monsters. Could even be the more monsterous the more compassion I feel for them. I figure they must really be alone since I know how quickly people can turn on others. Even the worst of the worst were once an innocent precious baby. Then life happened. I can't help but wonder what horrors must have happened to them to land them where they are. My heart goes out to them and I always want to comfort the child within.

[sanityseeker]

I am still working on the same level of compasison for myself. Just can't seem to hold on to any foregiveness for the mess I made out of my life. I had so much promise. Few people who know me really know me anymore.

[NuckingFutz]

Boy can I relate to just about everything you all said in the above threads. Compassion for self as well as from the regular folk to what people call monsters. Doesn't mean do not defend ourselves as needed, does not mean forget. It just means to bring in something to kill hate like compassion.

[sanityseeker]

Hate is sooooo toxic. It breaks my heart to see expressions of hate at any level. I held on to hate for decades and since getting free I ache when I see examples of hateful behaviours in the world. You are right.... compassion is the cure to overcoming hate. Once you put yourself in someone else's place the hate can be replaced with compassion.

What an enigmatic and tragic thread this is. Compassion for others plagued with mental illness is a staple:

Sense 1

compassion, compassionateness -- (a deep awareness of and sympathy for another's suffering)

• sympathy, fellow feeling -- (sharing the feelings of others (especially feelings of sorrow or anguish))

Sense 2

compassion, pity -- (the humane quality of understanding the suffering of others and wanting to do something about it) mercifulness, mercy -- (a disposition to be kind and forgiving; ``in those days a wife had to depend on the mercifulness of her husband''

Instead of compassion for self, there is negative chatter, cognitive distortions, perfectionism and hatred. A lack of compassion for the humanness of self is a huge impediment to overcoming the illnesses that rob our lives of meaningfulness.

http://www.ameaningfulexistence.com/...lf-guest-post/

Be well.

[sanityseeker]

Originally Posted by TheByzantine

A lack of compassion for the humanness of self is a huge impediment to overcoming the illnesses that rob our lives of meaningfulness.

so true.
Thanks for the link Byz. She shares an interesting journey.

On a spiritual level I am able to declare self love but it remains a challenge to really live it in my everyday moments. I measured myself by what I did, my skills, abilities.... what I did for others.... how well I performed.... and now that my conditions limits my capacities I struggle to accept myself as I am. To not judge myself for my limitations but love myself anyways. I challenge that ego response all the time but I am still a long ways from unconditional acceptance and true sell love.

Thanks for the thread Nuc. I am in a good frame of mind to give some thought to challenging my defences on this subject. I do need to be more compassionate with myself. I suppose it would also open the door for me to receive it from others without suspecting an ulterior motive. I suspect if one is able to show themselves compassion they would likely be less suspicious of others and able to live a more authentic and satisfying life.

Guess I am starting to wander off topic now. Time I called it a night and took a break from thinking before I get caught over thinking.

Good food for future thoughts. Night all.

[thine_self_untrue]

I have a lot of compassion for other people. In a way I am afriad of my own anger and very rarely am I "mad" at someone else. I offer them every excuse, every option, every way out. I give everyone else the benefit of the doubt. I will not do the same for myself. I can get mad at myself. That's 'safe'.

[splitimage]

I volunteer on a telephone support line for people with mental health and or addiction issues. It's run by my psych hospital which just happens to be the biggest one in the country. We get a lot of very difficult callers, whose lives are in some very dark places. Yet by simple listenning, talking and offering vlidation for their feelings we help them to make it through another 24 hours. I've been volunteering there for almost 2 years now, and it's definitely made me a more compassionate person.

It's also interesting, that it wasn't until I encountered compassion in a treatment centre that I began my admittedly rocky road to sobriety. When I went in for my second medically supervised detox, the staff were all so gentle and non-judgemental, and saying things like how hard this was and that I was very brave for doing it. I think it was litterally the first time I had encountered compassion as an adult, and it made me feel a little better about myself.

I'm still pretty hard on myself, and tend to beat myself up over mistakes and bad choices or things I've lost because of my addiction (old habits die hard) but I'm starting to go a little easier on myself as with therapy and treatment I've come to understand myself and my addiction a little more.

To me compassion is huge in healing.

--splitimage