[girlinlondon]

My roommate has invited a mutual friend to stay for two weeks. I just found out about this, he arrives tomorrow... I am freaking out.
Why?
Well I suffer from extreme depression, have an eating disorder amongst other things... I have also really been a recluse for the past few months. I don't see anyone or do anything, i am unable to work at the moment and spend my days in bed or obsessing over food... All this I am working on, yes, but on my schedule. I REALLY CANNOT have anyone else here with me 24 hrs a day, hes on holiday... It will destroy our friendship. I need to plan to socialise I cannot just deal with someone else here... I do not want to be seen like this.

It's pretty difficult, but have been almost able to hide a lot of my major symptoms from my roommate. He works long hours and has a girlfriend, so i can sucessfully plan around him. The visiting friend, is a mutual friend, was one of my best friends a few years ago when i was 'normal' or perhaps in denial, so I can't say no. It's too late now anyway.

Have spent the past half hour looking online at close places, libraries, parks etc to be able to escape to during the day... Pretend I have a 'plan'. I also have a bunch of books coming from amazon thought I could pretend I have an exam... Yet it wont justifiably explain the fact that I am only ever in my room, and I cannot hang out in open areas because a lot of things trigger me, and sometimes i start crying for what to others seem like no reason, I don't like this, but my room is safe.

I dont have a boyfriend, I don't have family i can go stay with, or close enough people... I suppose the whole point is right now i need to be by myself, to be able manage the periods i spend with others. This is so forced.

I wish i could afford to live alone!!!

Any tips?

Hello, girlinlondon. I have no words of wisdom for you. I do wonder if professional help is an option?

[Ygrec23]

Why not just tell them you're ill and stay in your room? You don't have to explain your illness. You can use the kitchen while they're out, and will just have to risk passing them when you use the loo.

[girlinlondon]

Thanks I'm def Going with ill i think. Though he isnt working, so it will be hard!

I know what i sound like! You're right, but yes i am getting help... I should have mentioned that my problem is not ''people'' per se. But the stress and triggers involved in socialising with a friend 24hours for 2 weeks... Especially now.

Its not as bad as avoiding anyone in the corridors..
Actually considering how quietly i am typing this. maybe it is.
;(

[Crew]

Hi girlinlondon,

I am sorry that you are not ready for company. Have you asked your roommate why she didn't ask you? It may make no difference now however in the future maybe you guys can work these things out.

I know for me, when I start freaking out and then realize I'm only making myself worse by "freaking out" but anyway sometimes those things we worry about and freak out about often turn out to be extremely helpful in the healing process, in a positive light.

Like you said, ("The visiting friend, is a mutual friend, was one of my best friends a few years ago when i was 'normal' or perhaps in denial, so I can't say no. It's too late now anyway.") it's too late now.
Maybe telling him that you've been ill is a good way to not deal yet what a great way of learning to Ground yourself when you have to, ya know?

I wish you loads of Luck and hopefully you can get through this and that it turns out to be more positive then what it feels like now.

Take Care,
Crew

Wishing you the best.

[girlinlondon]

Thank you all so much for your kind words.
Day two today... I have been trying really hard.

My sleep schedule is a totally messed up, to help with my ed, I have a meal plan and try to actually leave the flat three times a day, in am to get breakfast, then later to get lunch, and then to go to yoga/gym or therapy and then get dinner.
I am trying not to shop in bulk because of ED. Based on recent months, heading out every couple of hours is actually a MASSIVE step for me, as it can sometimes be my only communication with the 'world' (even though I usually head back to bed) and I use different shops to keep from being an obvious weirdo.

I have written all that so anyone who has been in a similar situation, can advise me, it's not the deep hole dark stage at the moment, I'm functioning 'barely', but I am not able to be flexible without relapsing. I am trying to slowly add new things, perhaps socialise over the weekend etc..
I could happily sit online and chat with this friend if he was somewhere else... But the normal people things like ''hey. why are u still in bed? lets go out have lunch'' makes me so crazy anxious and resentful, I can't do it... I logically know that everything that worries me about this, isn't more than just my own feelings about my illness+space, and i guess I am still a bit proud, I don't want to be seen like this half dead person you know?

I was painfully aware that my (seemingly random) shop trips today were odd, and so I got breakfast and lunch together.. That did not go well (I'm at a bullimic stage and the added stress, I messed up) and had to try to stay calm till evening time, and couldn't go out or ''hang out'' when he suggested it, he thought i was being rude

My long explanation is due to fact that I know my initial question did make me sound like a total nutjob hiding under the duvet.. Wait. Yes I am (sorry its like half past midnight, around the time i find my life hilarious.. before u know, sad).

Perhaps this is why inpatient is usually the only thing that works.

Congratulations on what you are able to accomplish.

[ruffy]

((girlinlondon)) I had the same type of thing happen to me a few weeks ago. My cousin just called out of the blue and said she was coming in to town for work and needed to stay with us for a week. I am much like you at this stage of my life, and need to be able to plan my socialization around my illness. Put your health first, not even a therapist would advise you to go on a sudden two week hospitality spree. This person is your roomates guest, not yours, and it is his responsibility to entertain him. You just do your own thing. Yes, Ive been accused of being rude by not accepting invitations out, but Ive got to stay healthy and I know what a thin line I walk to remain there. The difference for me between sanity and insanity.