Funny Stuff

Dog's world view vs. Cat's world view

EXCERPTS FROM A DOG'S DIARY
Day number 180:
8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE! 9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE! 9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE! 10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE! 11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE! 12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE! 1:00 pm OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE! 4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE! 5:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE! 5:30 PM - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!

Day number 181:
8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE! 9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE! 9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE! 10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE! 11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE! 12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE! 1:00 pm OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE! 4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE! 5:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE! 5:30 PM - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!

Day number 182:
8:00am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE! 9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE! 9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE! 10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE! 11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE! 12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE! 1:00 pm - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE! 1:30 pm ooooooo. bath. bummer. 4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE! 5:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE! 5:30 PM - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!

EXCERPTS FROM A CAT'S DIARY
DAY 752:
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.

DAY 761:
Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair...must try this on their bed.

DAY 765:
Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was...Hmmm. Not working according to plan.

DAY 768:
I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no good reason I was chosen for the water torture. This time however it included a burning foamy chemical called "shampoo." What sick minds could invent such a liquid. My only consolation is the piece of thumb still stuck between my teeth.

DAY 771:
There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the foul odor of the glass tubes they call "beer". More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.

DAY 774:
I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird on the other hand has got to be an informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room his safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time...

So cute..

Greetings,

Lol.

Have a good one.

Brace yourself before looking at the attached image. A pilot at low level has no control over his aircraft. It narrowly misses a crowd gathered for the airshow and slams into four buildings. One can only imagine the horror of the occupants inside those buildings.

awww, you tricked us Sue! and i'd sure hate to be the one sitting in that first "building"!

Are you tired of cleaning up after your doggy??

Poor Doggie...I can't imagine people would do that to their dog.

Made me think for a few seconds...I relate.

Where do I get mine at ? LOL

Greetings,

[quote=SunnyD;1502356]Poor Doggie...I can't imagine people would do that to their dog.

You'd be surprised what some people do to their pets, thinking it is the right thing to do. Lol.

Have a good one.

I really like this thread and wish it could be moved to the forefront! What great comics and pictures! I don't have any of those, alas, right now, but I will share my favorite shrink "tale":

Three women started boasting about their sons. "What a birthday I had last year!" exclaimed the first. "My son, that wonderful boy, threw me a big party in a fancy restaurant. He even paid for plane tickets for my friends."

"That's very nice, but listen to this," said the second. "Last winter, my son gave me an all-expenses-paid cruise to the Greek islands. First class."

"That's nothing!" interrupted the third. "For five years now, my son has been paying a psychiatrist $150 an hour, three times a week. And the whole time he talks about nothing but me."

What are you folks' favorite shrink jokes?

I just love this one...

Two psychologists meet at their twentieth college reunion. One of them looks like he just graduated, while the other psychologist looks old, worried and withered.
The older looking one asks the other, “What’s your secret? Listening to other people’s problems every day, all day long, for years on end, has made an old man of me.”
The younger looking one replies, “Who listens?”

Yeah, that's one of my favorite ones, too! Thanks for sharing.

Listen, SunnyD and I have talked, and I'm hoping this thread will catch on.....But we're thinking that this site is really meant more for pictures, you tube, and so on. So, I'm going to pull it out tomorrow on its own thread. Please consider contributing! I love the "What you should never tell your pdoc" game in the game section--so I think it'll be fun to expand on that kind of theme. Thanks!

My favorite Far Side..

Dear Son:
I'm writing this as slow as I can because I know you don't read too fast.

We don't live where we did when you left. Your Father read in the paper that most car accidents happen within 10 Miles of your house, so we moved. I can't send you the address because the last family that lived here took the numbers with them so they wouldn't have to change their address.

This place has a washing machine but the first day I put in 4 shirts and pulled the chain and I haven't seen them since. It only rained twice last week, three days the first time and four the second time.

About that winter coat you wanted me to send you. Aunt Peg said it would be too heavy to send in the mail with all them heavy buttons so I cut them off. You'll find them in the pockets.

Your sister had a baby this morning but I don't know if it is a boy or a girl so I don't know if you're an aunt or an uncle.

Your Uncle George fell into a whiskey vat at work and drowned. Some men tried to save him but he fought them off. We cremated him and he burned for three days.

Aunt Peg is knitting you socks. She would have sent them by now but I'd told her that you'd grown another foot since she saw you last, so she's knitting you another one.

I would have sent you some money but I have already sealed the envelope.
Write soon
Love Mom



always

Greetings,



Lol!!!

Have a good one.

Greetings,

Lol!!! I love cats and their quirky facial expressions!

Have a good one.

Greetings,


Lol!!!!! That is absolutely hilarious!

Have a good one.

Ah gee thanks...