[LittleForgetMeNot]

EVEN FOR 9 YEAR OLDS!!!

My brother messed up the last pair of clean pants he had and we had yet to do laundry so I gave him a pair of my old pants that are very unisex. Like yes they're for women but put them on a 9 year old and they look like they're his summer clothes. However he's scared kids will laugh at him, even though they're all about as observant as he is (which isn't at all) and he wouldn't have known if not for me coming out of my room with them. I let him feel a little insecure because he's only 9 and I'm sure wearing your 16 year old sister's clothes can be kind of embarrassing (however as I said before you wouldn't know unless you were told) but did tell him it's okay and no one will notice.

However I was talking to my friend about this and suddenly I got "ew gay dont make him wear that, your poor brother. does he HAVE to go to school today?" and it really hit a nerve. He's 9 years old, no one would notice, they're black, they fit him, they're more like outdoor working out pants so they're not "hip-hugging" or anything. He was ready to walk out of the house in his pjs, I think that would be more noticeable than this. I don't understand this, I'm a teen so I get wanting to look nice at this age, but he's 9 years old and half the time filthy and yet other people, older people, are already mocking it when even they wouldn't notice unless u told them.

It's just clothes, there isn't anything wrong with it, so why is this such a big deal for everyone! A girl can wear her father's clothes and everyone doesn't care but as soon as a boy wears clothes that even are in the slightest way feminine -and even if they're not- were from a woman or were made for women, the world is suddenly exploding and we all have to scream and cry.

[Fresia]

It would be nice if it wasn't an issue. It is what we make it and it can be important to look nice or look sharp. The older we get, we have more of a 'do what we want' attitude and also depends on your self-esteem (not caring what others think) and depends on your values. As a kid though there are some pressures for some to want to fit in or blend in, and not get picked on; some kids will not notice and not care but others will hone in on the differences specifically to use them as a reason for teasing and bullying. This where the concern comes in for younger ones, trying to prevent this and wanting to be like the others so as to not stand out. Building up their self confidence and their esteem for their individuality is important to be themselves no matter what happens or in what they do, how they carry themselves in any circumstance, and for what they make of it. If they like it, it's what matters; it can be cool as long as they are comfortable, wear it with style and confidence. It's not what other's think, except to follow the rules of the school for dress, and from there be themselves.

In all, the pants themselves are not an issue, it's fitting in that is that is probably the concern. Yes, the pants are a better choice than the PJ's, only he will know they are women's as long as he does not tell (if fitting in is the underlying concern.) I'm sure the pants will go over just fine. You are very supportive and a kind sister to be there for him. I'll thank you for him.

[ShyGirlScreamsAlone]

I'm on the same side as you. That makes no sense to me. Most guys clothes now-a-days look girly anyways, and most teenage boys wear girl skinny jeans. Just tell him that most of the older boys wear girl jeans and he will most likely think it's cool, also you wouldn't be lying. But, I also understand his side, not only are they "girl's clothes" (which I don't think matters.) they are also his older sister's clothes, which probably aren't what the kids are wearing now and he most likely just wants to fit in. But if he wants to go to school in his pajamas, let him, as long as it's not against dress code it doesn't really matter, they're the same as sweat pants, they just have pictures or a designe. I wear my pajamas to school all the time, though I am a girl. Oh well, if he wont accept the pants that's his fault, you were just trying to do the nice thing, if he can't accept it that's his problem.

[LittleForgetMeNot]

yeah I know, he wore them anyway as I found a different pair of pants in my old clothes pile that were a bit bigger and waayyy more boyish and he took those without complaint. No one laughed at him, no one cared, the only person who made a big deal about it was my friend who knew. That was what ticked me off the most.

[hoping_for_a_cure]

Well in my case in high school I really had a hard time based on my appearance. A friend of mine from 8th grade called me up to go clothes shopping. I told her I didn't have any money (I was 14). That was the last time I heard from her and mind you we were very close in 8th grade. I started wearing all black, all the time. This was in the early 90's.

People started picking on me, so then I started wearing my dad's flannels. It wasn't until I started working on my own (15) that I started buying my own clothes, and then finally fit in with the rest of em.

I don't judge people on their appearance. But I do judge myself, and nowadays in my 30's, I try to look as presentable as possible, due to my experience in high school.

Just thought I would share.

[Yoda]

I am as Fresia described 'do what I want'. My son and I went downtown for drive through food and I wore my pajama bottoms and a sweater thinking I wouldn't be out of the car. Then I saw a grocer had a good price on hamburger so I went in the store in my PJs not much caring what anyone else thought. When I was a teenager I was not so self assured but confidence is one of the benefits of being an old person.

[racee]

apperances might make no sense, but it is what it is and unless you want to go into the hills and be a hermit . it's something we all just have to accept, and yes it does stick with you all your life, you had to wear a torn faded shirt because your poor and cant afford nice clothes the teasing never stops.
you constantly get judged all the time, while you might not care as much when your an adult you still get judged the same you might just not realize it, but people are still talking about you!

its just more troublesome because as a child your network of people is confined to the amount of people at school. day in day out you have a small group (and yes its small compared to "the outside world" judging you all day. because they are insecure about their own selves.

do you remember when you were nine...i do. thats around 3rd grade..and i was being teased in the second grade if your old enough to tease then your old enough to know how to judge. some kids are sheltered and know no difference other are not and have a lot of older siblings so they tend to be more aware of the things such as 'style'
yes teach your kid good morals and values and in the end they will follow your example so you better be following what you teach. but if you have the money and the way, it doesn't hurt to get the clothes 'more in style' and if the kid is having a bad day/self esteem day let them stay home from school. i had many of those and thank god my mom let me stay home. these are things you will always remember and it will stick with you. the only way to escape it is home school or online school (which is what i eventually did)