What would you do in these situations? Am I even remotely, excusably right, or am I just totally off my rocker?

Here are the examples.

1. Several years ago, I was struggling to walk down a steep slippery gravel slope, and I realized I was not going to make it to the bottom without falling. So I deliberately sat down, slid until I reached a place where I could walk safely, got up, and went on about my business perfectly unhurt. Later in the day, my neighbor was concerned: "I saw you fall, and...." I was quick to point out that I did not, technically, fall, and that I was just fine. For one thing, when my neighbor mentioned it, my brother was present. I had not said anything to him. I had not felt a need to, since nothing happened. And I didn't want him worried. I came away feeling embarrassed and wishing she hadn't said anything. Her mentioning it is the only way I knew she had been watching.

2. This one is from high school. After getting off the school bus, I tripped on a rock in the road, fell on my face, but got right up and walked home. The next day as I was getting on the bus, the driver stopped me with what I thought was a totally unnecessary, "Were you OK yesterday? When you fell?" (Yes, she said it like that in two separate sentences, although maybe the emphasis on that last word was my imagination.) I assured her I was OK, but I was embarrassed all over again, and secretly thinking, "Thanks for broadcasting it; I wish you had just left it alone." Most people would say she was only concerned and being nice. I say that's true, but there was no reason to be concerned, unless I was limping when I got up, or I came back the next day with my arm in a sling or something, or if I didn't come back at all the next day. I was obviously all right. Why bring it up?

3. I was in a store. I heard a noise from quite a distance away and turned to see that another customer had just endured a most spectacular fall, pulling things off shelves in the process. The little child with her cried from fright at the sight of it. She was shaken, visibly embarrassed, but store personnel promptly took care of her and she turned out to be all right. Later I was directly behind her in the check out line. If I say nothing, she has no way of knowing I had seen what happened, whereas if I ask her if she's OK, she would know that I did see it. Therefore, I honestly didn't know whether I should ask or not. Eventually I decided not to, so I wouldn't make her feel any more embarrassed. Was I wrong?

People can't believe it when I say that in these situations, if it's me I'd rather not be fussed over, and if it is someone else, I will not fuss over them because I don't want to embarrass them. "What? You mean if we're walking together and I fall down, you'll just ignore me and not even ask if I'm OK?" No, that's not what I'm saying at all. Precisely at the moment it happens right there in front of me, absolutely I will ask. If you need help, and I'm there, you will get help. But let's say we're not walking together. We're strangers, each taking care of our own business. From far away, I happen to see you fall, and I see that you're being taken care off. Hours later, or even the next day, I see you again, and you are obviously unhurt. As with the lady in the third example, if I don't say anything, you would never know I saw what happened. So I don't say anything. Is my decision right or wrong?

[PleaseHelp]

I would tend to agree with you. No reason to bring attention to a situation that has already occurred if you or someone else is OK. If you are right next to a person and they fall or what not then by all means help them or make sure they are OK. I get embarrassed easily as well and would not like it brought up if everything is fine.

As for the bus lady if she was that concerned, why didn't she make sure you were OK at the time you fell!? My opinion.

Sitting on your butt when you know your going to fall - been there done that! And if your neighbor saw you struggling why didn't they come out and offer support.

OK just my two sense worth. But I would pretty much do the same thing. Of course people question me to. But then again who cares what they think!

Well, it's good to find someone else on the face of the earth who agrees with me. Most people think I'm a jerk when I insist that in these situations, I wouldn't say anything.

Furthermore, it's the same if I see someone choking. I'll stand guard. On a couple of occasions I have used a Heimlich. But I'm not going to freak out and go all bug-eyed. "OMG, are you OK?????" I will ask, but quietly. If I'm not in a position to help, if I'm merely observing from across the building while someone else is helping, and I meet up with the formerly-choking person later, I'm not going to call attention to it by asking again, as I'm sure they've already been asked umpteen times, if they are OK.

[Can't Stop Crying]

Someone at work had a blood pressure issue and was taken away by ambulance....when he returned to work he wore a sign that said....I AM OKAY...he was tired of everyone asking and didn't want that kind of attention. Guess it depends on the person and the situation.

[SunnyD]

Wow what a good idea

In his shoes I might be tempted to wear that sign, but I would more likely write on it, "I'm OK, thank you." I do dislike having to repeat myself so often, but I recognize concern. I wouldn't want them to think I don't appreciate their thoughts.

Wondering too if geography is a factor. I'm from the Southern US, where people are notorious for being all up in each other's business. Especially in the small towns where I guess they don't have anything else to talk about, it's not simply, "Are you OK?" It's "(Scream)! Are you hurt? ARE YOU SURE YOU'RE NOT HURT???? Let me help you up. Let's get you to a chair. You better just sit there for a while. No-no-no, don't get up. If you need something I'll bring it to you." The person is perfectly all right. But all day and sometimes even into the next day, people are going to be hovering. And forever after, any time the person ventures near to the spot where he/she tripped, someone is going to say, "Now, you be careful."

I remember how my grandfather was a fussy Fred even BEFORE something happened. Someone is about to use a stepladder to wash windows, and inevitably he's going to say, "Don't fall." Various family members had their pat answers to that. "I'll fall if I want to!" (That was my grandmother's.) Or "Thanks for reminding me; I wouldn't have known not to fall." Or (mine) "Of course not, why in the world should I fall? That would be a silly thing to do." Naturally accidents do happen, and when they do... "I told you not to fall!" (Try to read this like it's funny, because that's how I mean it, not like I'm taking shots at my grandfather.)

In any of those cases, the fussy Fred or Frieda is going to be puzzled at any objection to the overreacting. "Well, I'm only concerned!" Yes, of course, but....