[AAAAA]

I had to work today. A part-time co-worker that was off came in to gush about being off. Her three children all dressed in their Easter finest waiting alone in her car. She addressed our manager who has three small children: “How can you not be home with your kids today? Don’t you celebrate Easter?” Manager says “Their father is home with them now and we have plans for this afternoon when I’m off.” The idiot continued “oh I wouldn’t be able to stand it if I missed out on this with my kids. How can you miss them finding their baskets and dressing them up for church?”

It is a well known fact that this manager’s husband is not working. He is battling cancer and unable to work. OF COURSE she’d rather be home enjoying the first nice day in 7 months with her family. But she’s working on a holiday because it is a holiday and she’s getting paid overtime. She’s putting food on her table!

The co-worker has the luxury of working part-time because she gets state aid. When she was offered a full time position she turned it down because it would interfere with her “benefits”. Welfare requires her to work 16 - 24 hours a week and that is all she will work.

I am sitting here wondering if she was just trying to be a jerk or if she was really that obtuse. I am so angry. My manager is a young woman that works her butt off! She jumps right in to help, she’d never ask you to do anything she wouldn’t do herself. How dare someone come in and imply she’s not a good mother because she’s working to support them!

[Sunna]

This being Easter, I feel this odd temptation to channel the inner angel.

Yes, this woman acted and spoke thoughtlessly. You can't know if she was trying to be a jerk, or just is just so caught in her own mind that she does not see beyond the end of her nose. You do, and it's wonderful, because it puts you in a unique situation. You can do something.

You already wrote here, and we can now reflect how easily we can be as thoughtless as our co-worker, rattling off about something, without any awareness or, as that co-worker, a reflection (she couldn't have escaped knowing, could she?) on the situation of our listeners.

Perhaps also you can think up a way you can express your understanding, empathy, support and admiration to your manager in the light of that co-worker thoughtlessness. It's may be not easy to do, because it is at work, and she is your manager, so how do you express your empathy without it appearing like you are trying to curry a favor with her or make yourself appear better than the thoughtless-acting co-worker, and all that stuff? Maybe there is no direct way, maybe only in the realm of spirit (whether you pray or not, there is plenty of indication that prayerful well-wishing intent has a positive effect on people, even when they are not informed)

Your indignation at your co-worker cushy arrangement for herself can also be seen as a challenge for you to not feel anger, or contempt, but find a measure of love, too. Can you imagine helping her to open her eyes and see the plight of the manager without delivering a judgment (not easy either).

And for what you've already done, thank you, and have a wonderful Easter.

[AAAAA]

Thank you so much for your thoughtful reply Sunna. I know on this day above all others I should be able to find a measure of compassion for the thoughtless idiot but she’s made me so angry.

My manager has gone through a great deal in the past year. Her mother died unexpectedly. Then there was a freak accident that took her vision, she found a specialist that was able to restore most of her vision. She was barely recovered from that when they found out that her husband had cancer.

I have to believe that this other woman was an idiot. How could a person be so knowingly cruel?

[lynn P.]

Sorry you and your boss had to witness this unthoughtful person. If that was me I would have said "you know some us have to work because we desperately need the money, not because we don't want to be with our loved ones". Maybe add "thanks reminding us how much we missed".

[nice girl]

U can never know what intentions this co-worker might have had. . . .
And i'm extremaly sorry to hear all that ur manager had to and is going through. . . . She appears to be a strong lady. . . . I pray things to be ok for her soon. . . .
Thanks for sharing this with us. . . .
It gives a example and a lesson to not judge or say things to people unknowingly, or not knowing what they might be going through. . . .