[mala]

It really doesnt. For a moment whilst typing I wondered what its all about. I had responsibilty growing up and helped a mother who like my aunts is awful but now old and frail and I ask myself - what for ?. Until recently I had believed in this powerful mind aka an angel or God or something that guided me to stay at home which finished me and turned me into a worse person. By worse person I had the feeling of some female archtypel influence - possibly one of my aunts but it was self centred, and it had detrimental effects esp on me. Is this a part of me ? Is it me? I dont believe so, and I daren't ask my aunts as they would not be happy about it and would deny it if it was true anyway. Im fairly sure now that one of my aunts is a spiritual archetype of mine. I wouldnt mind if my existence has been less tortured mentally but she offered nothing to help in the past. If God would behave like that then God would cease to be God and nothing more than a supernatural being with powers that he misuses. Can we have parts to ourselves that we are unaware of. Ive read that this is very common in mental illness, has anyone else had similar thoughts about it.
mala
PS I put this on here as nobody answered on the last forum.