[Timgt5]

A modest proposal to deal with the British Rioters

• Disclaimer-This is being written purely as a tongue and cheek post, and is not a serious attempt at political commentary, so all you politically correct, , humorless individuals who love to attack me here, can put away your swords.

I, as have many other Americans have had to watch helplessly as our brothers and sisters across the pond have endured a lot of mayhem and senseless destruction of property. The riots have now subsided and many of the miscreants have been rounded up and jailed. Of course this leaves the problem of dispensing justice. Britain like many countries already has a heavily burdened justice system. Many are saying putting them all in prison will be costly. We certainly cannot just let them go free, so what to do what to do.

As an American I have studied Britain’s rich history with much detail and I think I may have hit upon an idea, which would keep the rioters away from decent folk, and cost little to implement and perhaps teach them the value of civilization at the same time.

For the next month the British Parliament should re-implement the policy of exporting the bad element to Australia. Before you Aussies go up in arms, read on and hear me out on this one. I am not talking about sending these people to Sidney or any other large city, oh no. We need to drop them all off in the middle of the outback. There are a number of benefits to doing this that can be gained by all sides.

For the law abiding British population, it would be a chance to get rid of people that frankly do nothing productive, and consume an excess of welfare state benefits. The streets would be cleaned of degenerates and the crime rate would go down drastically. Taxes could be lowered since they will not be needed for the large influx of inmates, or an excess of police forces to fill the streets. Mr. Cameron would be a fiscal hero and a restorer of order all in one fell swoop assuring his coalition stays in power.

The Australian government for its part could charge Britain with a per person “disposal” fee (no reason the Aussies cannot benefit from this deal financially). This can be used of course to cover the cost of keeping the rioters away from civilization (as a condition of their exile they would not be allowed access to motor vehicles) with funds left over to lower taxes or fund government programs.

As for the rioters, well they hate the rich, businesses, and it seems civilization in general. (After all they were trying to burn it down) Removing the rioters to the Australian Outback, with only a few provisions, would take them away from all they hate so much. They want anarchy? Well there you go. No longer will they have to worry about the wealth gap, the evils of corporate “whatevers”, or that nasty busybody the British Government telling them how to live. They will not have to look at the evil doers in their Bentleys and “Rollers” and feel bad about their own lack of talent and initiative.

Of course without all of trappings that those evieeell (typo for phonetic impact) corporations, you know the smart phones, the MP3 players, Facebook, etc they may actually stop listening to that idiotic techno music long enough to realize, they had it pretty good in ole London and that sweating outside to just to eat, really is not all that much fun. Perhaps they will appreciate their generous welfare state and want to come back to it someday. Of course it may be possible with good behavior, and armed with a different perspective may want to actually want to become makers, who may want to do something worthwhile like volunteering to help rebuild the things they destroyed.

I as a concerned American, who cares deeply for my law abiding British brothers and sisters, humbly submit the above proposal to Parliament. Please contact me and I will be more than willing to help out with the implementation of my idea. All I ask in return is to have tea with her Majesty and tickets to attend Top Gear in person and meet Jeremy Clarkson, my new hero and champion of freedom.

Yours Truly

Tim

As someone who teaches Jonathan Swift's "A Modest Proposal", this is great! Love it.

Pass the buck, politically speaking. http://www.phrases.org.uk/meanings/pass-the-buck.html

[lizardlady]

Love it Tim.