[Mediator]

Hi
I just wonder if somebody here hates life generally. I am not talking about an issue. I am talking about that life is hard work, my body needs warm, food, wash, ....... I have to earn money, I can not let my addiction of food to be a winner, I can not let myself to be a doormat of somebody.
Do you understand me? If we are children we do not have responsibility and after it is changed. And now I know that it is up to me but I hate it.
I thank you for reading.
Take care
Mediator

Hello, Mediator. Taking full responsibility for your own well-being after not being allowed to make any decisions as a child growing up can be stressful and shocking.

(((mediator))) yes, adult life is difficult. my childhood experience had a lot of responsibility. i had chores and homework; i had to get up for school like i have to get up for work. i set and cleared off the dinnertable every night. and, helped with the gardening / yard work. also, i helped take care of my younger siblings. there's actually a lot of responsibility in the child and teen years. still, my preparation for adulthood was not perfect, and i've been struggling. i think the more you accept life - rather than hate it - the easier it will be. holding grudges and hating things actually takes a lot of energy. by letting go of your anger, you will find the energy to make a life better than you have today.

[Inedible]

Most of my life I added up the costs of living both in terms of money and stress. Then I decided how much enjoyment I was getting from each day. Usually it seemed that each day cost at least ten times what it was worth to me to live it. It wasn't really an emotional decision. I was looking at my life like it was a business and it wasn't worth keeping the business open any longer. It wasn't about being depressed or angry. The difference, though, is that with closing a business someone is still around to work for someone else or to try again with a new business.

What I mean to say is that yes, I do understand what you are saying.

And I want to add that if you can change your life's situation, it definitely can give you more satisfaction. Start with small changes until you build up the practice and the desire to see bigger changes through to completion.

And don't forget that you don't have to do things alone. Remember to ask for help along the way, once you have identified specific things you want to change.

[advena]

I think I understand what you are saying. While I don't necessarily hate it, I have difficulty taking care of myself: eating correctly (I have food issues too), seeing the doctor and dentist, handling my money, etc. My sponsor in my 12 step program really helps me because part of my difficulty is structuring myself and remembering what I need to do every day to be healthy. It isn't always easy, is it? I wish you well.

[alwaysrejoice]

Ya my husband and i always fantisize about coming up with some great invention or winning the lottery so our lives would be different than work, sleep, eat, work, sleep, eat....

[whenwillitend]

I can relate. Living is hard work. And it seems so pointless sometimes, I take a shower, and I now tomorrow I will need to shower again. I have to work on eating somewhat properly. I have to work to take care of myself. Taking care of others is work too, although more enjoyable than taking care of myself. There is so much that's needed, physically, emotionally, just all around, money, relationships, it's all so much work. Life is exhausting. Very exhausting. I can't even say I had a carefree childhood. Life has always been a struggle for me. Sometimes it gets overwhelming.

But all in all and most of the time, I enjoy life. Sometimes all the hard work pays off, and that feels good.

[Inedible]

Physical maintenance is not so bad when you are getting your needs met. A nice shower can be a good place to think, and a good meal can be satisfying. It is when it is hard to buy your shampoo and soap for the shower, or the food and the electricity to cook your meal that these things are more stressful than enjoyable. The question is really how well your life is currently working that determines how much enjoyment you will get from living it. To the extent that your life is not working, you will have to change it to fix it up. This can be enjoyable, too. It can be meaningful and satisfying to put your situation in order. Keep in mind that even small changes can have a really big impact for the better. For me it can be as simple as having all the dishes washed up and out of the sink, and having the carpet freshly vacuumed. It just seems like everything costs money and often it feels like I don't have that money. So now I'm working on earning more money and paying down my debts. It helps if you have a list of things that you can do to make yourself feel better or even good, right away. When you feel good it is easier to get working on fixing the things that need to be fixed and it is easier to have confidence that it can be done.

[(JD)]

In the basic of senses, I can relate. It is difficult to find purpose in life at times. It's probably more difficult if you aren't prepared for all that responsibility. It's tough enough at times even if you are.

There's so much I can't enjoy any more. Nearly 25 years ago an accident ended my career and all work efforts. I lost my senses of smell, taste, much of my hearing and had to fight vision issues too. My chronic pain makes the first hour of each day one that I have to be a zombie because it's so rough if I really engage before I'm stable, I won't do the day. I still go to physical therapy 3x a week and if I stop to think about what goes on there, instead of just going by habit and rote, then I can't force myself to go... and I need to be stretched out and all or my muscles begin to contracture.... and it goes on.

That's my actual life...and it's becoming tougher and tougher to find purpose in my life. But on the flip side, I know I have a God who loves me and who comforts me and has a purpose for me...

[Mediator]

Originally Posted by TheByzantine

Hello, Mediator. Taking full responsibility for your own well-being after not being allowed to make any decisions as a child growing up can be stressful and shocking.

It is shocking when I am 46

[Mediator]

I thank you everybody but special I thank you
to Unhappy for acceptance of it
to Inedible for remember to ask for help
to JD for her/his story