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#1
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Thinkers Anonymous
It started out innocently enough. I began to think at parties now and then to loosen up. Inevitably, though, one thought led to another and soon I was more than just a social thinker. I began to think alone—"to relax," I told myself—but I knew it wasn’t true. I was thinking all the time. I began to think on the job. I knew that thinking and employment don’t mix, but I couldn’t stop myself. I began to avoid friends at lunchtime so I could read Thoreau and Kafka. I would return to the office dizzied and confused, asking, "What is it exactly we are doing here?" Things weren’t going so great at home, either. One evening I had turned off the TV and asked my wife about the meaning of life. She spent that night at her mother’s. I soon had a reputation as a heavy thinker. One day the boss called me in. He said, "Skippy, I like you, and it hurts me to say this, but your thinking has become a real problem. If you don’t stop thinking on the job, you’ll have to find another job." This gave me a lot to think about. I came home early after my conversation with the boss. "Honey," I confessed, "I’ve been thinking…" "I know you’ve been thinking," she said, "and I want a divorce!" "But, honey, surely it’s not that serious!" "It IS serious," she said, lower lip aquiver. "You think as much as a college professor, and college professors don’t make any money, so if you keep on thinking we won’t have any money!" "That’s a faulty syllogism," I said impatiently, and she began to cry. I’d had enough. "I’m going to the library!" I snarled as I stomped out the door. I headed for the library, in the mood for some Nietzsche, with a PBS station on the radio. I roared into the parking lot and ran up to the big glass doors….but they didn’t open. The library was closed. To this day, I believe that a Higher Power was looking out for me that night. As I sank to the ground clawing at the unfeeling glass, simpering for Zarathustra, a poster caught my eye: ‘Friend, is heavy thinking ruining your life?’ it asked. You probably recognize that line. It comes from the standard Thinkers Anonymous poster. It is responsible for what I am today—a recovering thinker. I never miss a TA meeting. At each meeting we watch a non-educational video; last week it was "Porky’s." Then we share experiences about how we avoided thinking since the last meeting. I still have my job, and things are a lot better at home. Life just seemed…easier, somehow, as soon as I stopped thinking. I never liked thinking on the job. The company's safety record did suffer a bit tho.
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Sober Since Aug/29/2022 ⟆⊂ᖇᎯ𝜏⊂ᖺ し∈⟆⟆ ᖘυᖇᖇ ⲙᗝᖇ∈ Jυ⟆𝜏 ᑲ∈⊂Ꭿυ⟆∈ Ⴘᗝυ ɢ𝖮𝜏 🐒𝜏Ꮒ∈ ⲙᗝﬡⲕ∈Ⴘ ᗝ⨍⨍ Ⴘ𝖮υᖇ ᑲᎯ⊂ⲕ ᕍᗝ∈⟆ﬡ'𝜏 ⲙ∈Ꭿﬡ 𝜏ᖺ∈ ⊂⫯ᖇ⊂υ⟆ ᏂᎯ⟆ 𝘭∈⨍𝜏 𝜏ᗝⲱﬡ |
![]() Anonymous32463, Hope-Full, Marla500, noneedtoknow, Rohag, Willcat
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#2
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LOL I love it!!!!
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“In depression . . . faith in deliverance, in ultimate restoration, is absent. The pain is unrelenting, and what makes the condition intolerable is the...feeling felt as truth...that no remedy will come -- not in a day, an hour, a month, or a minute. . . . It is hopelessness even more than pain that crushes the soul.”-William Styron |
![]() Willcat
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#3
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That's hilarious! So true
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"... am I gonna explode?" ![]() |
![]() Willcat
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#4
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^^^^^^((((((willcat)))))!!!!!!
![]() ![]() ![]() Hey, where're the meetings? I'm serious now, I have to join!!! ![]() |
![]() Willcat
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#5
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That was great! Made me smile! I want to join also!
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![]() Willcat
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#6
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At first I thought the title had to do with the U.S. Congress - any thinkers there are surely anonymous...
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![]() Anonymous32463, Willcat
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#7
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Yah, I know I need to quit. I'll quit tomarrow. In the meantime, I'm gonna lock myself in my room to go think.
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![]() Anonymous32463, Willcat
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