Is it just me or would other people find this rude?

I called a friend I've known since highschool yesterday. We're not super close now, but we do talk periodically. It's a long distance cost for me. The call went straight to VM so I figured someone was on the phone, so I left a message saying that I'd called and that I'd love to hear from her.

I hang up the phone and 3 min later my phone rings, and it's her husband calling me back, saying in an accusatory tone of voice "I was on the phone and saw this number come in, did you call me?" I was polite and said "Oh Hi T, it's me, I just called to talk to R., of course you wouldn't recognize my number as I don't call that often." He said that R was out working, and I said, "Oh ok, can you just letter know I called then". He then tells me, that "You'd better call back and leave a message, because by the time she get's home, I'll have forgotten about it." (Hello - has anyone heard of writting down a message.) I said, I did leave a message on the voicemail when I'd just called. Then he proceeds to tell me "Oh yeah, we have two voicemails, the comcast, and the machine in our bedroom - you left a message on the comcast VM and we hardly ever check that." At this point I'm a little stunned so I say "Oh", He finally says, "Well, I'll try to remember to tell her to check the voicemail."

Is it really that hard to pass on a message?

splitimage

Yeah he sounds like a tool.

Sometimes it CAN be actually. I know myself that I can forget to tell my husband someone called as we tend to get side tracked and forget. People just get busy and don't want to take the time to write down messages anymore. It does seem odd, but people are getting more and more in the habit of just relying on VM and EMails these days.

Open Eyes

Nice of you to call though and apparently it is too hard to pass a msg for some. It was definitely inconsiderate and that he can't make a quick note? Actually write something? Even if rushed, it still takes so little time. Makes me wonder if she'll get the message or not, considering their messaging system. It may not be any time soon unfortunately but eventually. You tried, which is good.

I find it a bit rude. Rather than him saying he might forget, he should just take a couple of minutes to write a note and set it in a spot she will see. People can be crazy!

hey friend i called & left a message on your voicemail but your jerky butt of a husband said he was too lazy & stupid to find a pen & paper to write a note & then doubted he would have enough brain cells to remember it...so i am calling you again (long distance i might add) to remind you to check your other voice mail)

hugs & kisses

me

(but this is just me with my snarky sense of humor & low tolerance for pompous idiots)

I'm not sure about *openly* rude, although it is certainly *unintentionally* rude. The guy seems like a bit of a goofball to me.

Yeah, he's so 21st century he's forgotten how to write down a phone message.

So sorry she married him! Maybe she really NEEDS to hear from you, it sounds like she could use a good friend.

my viewpoint only. he seems inconsiderate of others. i hope you can reach your friend via phone without his intervention.

it sounds like lack of communication in his marriage and lack of trust.

LMFAO! I love this!

yep! That's what he should've done.

Sounds frustrating!

I am one who avoids the phone like the plaque! Maybe he was having an issue that day?!?

What?? Since the telephone was invented the system is to say, "So-and-so's not home/available right now, but I will give them the message that you called."
Is that SO hard? I was told to do this as soon as I was old enough to answer the phone. Hmph.

what a jerk. he sounds like hes 12

I second what Evening said, definitely a tool .. I hope she gets your message.

I think it sounds a bit rude, I mean I'm terrible at remembering message so I write them down. But then again maybe he had a lot on his plate and didn't have time. But I think he should have just wrote it down.

I am sorry you received just a hostile response to your call. In and of itself his response was rude.

Still, we don't know the back story that might have influenced his responses. He may well be a lovely man having a really bad day. I can relate. She could be like me who gives strict instructions to let all calls go to the answering machine unless they know the call is for them. If they were to take a message I would not be happy. It would be like they have committed me to call backing. I make no promises in my answering machine message for a reason. The stress of that commitment can really do a number on me. I need and want the option to connect with people on my terms.

I have friends who I connect with every now and then. Sometimes years pass between phone chats. I either don't make the effort and/or I am avoiding small talk social converstation that are hard for me to stay engaged. I can be a real grump and very short with people if by chance I answer the phone because I am expecting a call I want to take. I don't like being caught off guard.

We just don't know the back story. Perhaps no back story can excuse bad behaviour but it could explain it. No doubt I am writing in my own script as an example where the caller might get annoyed with the response they receive. Or he could be in a tif with his wife. No doubt my examples are somewhere out in left field. But ya never know until you have the whole story.

Maybe he is just a rude jerk and it will be good timing to be calling your friend who may need a friendly shoulder to cry on. Just as likely as any 'excuse' I am concocting.

Some people can be irritable if they've had a bad day.

I may be looking too much into it but it seems he is rather controlling of his wife because he implied he would not tell her that a friend of hers phoned while she was at work. It also indicates a lack of trust and high suspicion of her actions because he treated you as though you did not know her, otherwise you wouldn't have left a VM on the "wrong" machine. The fact the "correct" machine is in their bedroom suggests a lack of trust in others who could check their voice machine if it were in the open. Furthermore, it prevents her from checking the voice messages without alerting him because it is in their bedroom.

If I phoned and someone told that to me, I would think they're telling me not to call and go away.