[Umbral_Seraph]

I saw this and it just blew me away that anyone would actually do it.

http://money.msn.com/how-to-budget/a...?ocid=xnetr1-5

[Perna]

I don't really see any difference in what actually happens with dating and not liking a guy; the guy has a date for the night, I'm sure they don't always go to expensive, gourmet restaurants. The "hooking" part doesn't refer to snagging a free meal, I don't think, but to prostituting one's self and that would be its own reward.

I would not want to be that kind of person and imagine, with a lot of practice, the person you would become would not be someone a guy would want to marry anyway because of the selfish shallowness of your thinking? Or, they'd think it was a creative way to survive and you'd have two, by-hook-or-by-crook people having and raising children. . .

I guess in the difficult circumstances they list, not enough income in a large city, I'd volunteer at five shelters or food kitchens at night, maybe get a meal that way?

[Timgt5]

That reminds me of an old episode of the British sit com Are you Being Served.

The two ladies were discussing dating, the young attractive one (Miss Brahams) complained she did not have money to buy food, because she spent it on clothes.

The older lady wondered why she just did not use her clothes money to buy food

The younger one retorted that the clothes attracted men, who took her out to dinner.

Being a southerner, paying for a meal for a woman, is simply a courtesy and way of being thankful for the conversation and the company. If I was a single man still in the dating world, (I am glad I am not, as I would never have a chance in hell of every finding anyone to go out with me) I would not have a problem paying for dinner, even if that was her only concern, as long as she were honest about not being interested at the end of the evening in pursuing anything beyond a single date.

[MandiePoo]

What is extremely sad to me is that this has to even be thought about and considered by anyone, male or female, in the first place.

The thing is, we have the ability to provide nutrition to our citizens at a MUCH lower cost, or to subsidize food in most western countries. I was actually talking about this the other day - that if we TRULY wanted to, we could easily come together to end hunger. The world IS changing though - you can see ripples of it everywhere - and I like to think it is changing for the better...but things often get worse just before they get better and so I think we are in for a long learning process as we go along.

I am in Nova Scotia, Halifax specifically, and I can tell you you right now that we have food banks and a couple of soup kitchens - but if that is your only nutrition, you are going to end up malnourished. The soup kitchen will fill you up, but quite often it ends up being stale leftovers from tim hortons, soup, or macaroni and cheese. Hey - I am not saying that is a bad thing - it definetly helps when you need it. But the thing is, when that is all you have you are almost perpetually hungry anyway.

Food banks are good - they will give you 2-4 days worth of food, but you can only go once a month. And again, most of what you get here is carbs and grains and canned meats, and really is not that healthy. I will give them credit though because it helps to save money on the things you do get from them so you can spend that money on fruit and vegetables and meat.(or tofu, etc).

Since I am on social assistance(disability) I thought it would be interesting to show you how my money breaks down. I get $618 dollars per month. Of that, $400 is my rent. I am renting a room with a house with housemates and that was quite literally the cheapest I could find. Technically, my rent portion is not supposed to exceed $223 per month. There is just NO WAY you can find ANYTHING for $223 per month, I promise - unless you get into a housing co op, which has major wait lists. The shelters have been full and waitlisted here for months.

Aside from paying $400 in rent, I have to keep a cell phone on me because I am a fall risk. I choose the lowest plan available and taxes in it comes to just under $40. I have to buy a bus pass, which is $70, because I cannot walk, it simply is not an option for me due to my physical stuff. So I am left with $108 per month for food. I use the food banks, and it helps - but without a doubt every single month I am short and eating just boiled spaghetti for four or five days. I make do - I am not in any way saying I am not extremely thankful - and I am trying to get work from home. But things could stand to be alot better. I had a thought once - if each grocery story chipped in and donated 1-2 hundred dollars of fresh produce per month - that would probably create enough produce for each food bank client to at least have SOME fresh food weekly. I don't think that it is too much to ask for a large corporation - they often make donations to charity WAY higher than this. And of course regular joes can always make a donation.

I have thought about making a website/charity that sort of linked people together(through a social worker or something) where people could apply for extra grocery help/donate grocery tickets or things like that, but I am not sure how one would handle that - seems like an awfully big endeavor. I will say last summer halifax began planting gardens around the city to grow food - and ANYONE can take part in caring for it and thus getting produce from it at harvest. What a WONDERFUL idea.

So yes, this is alot of personal information, but I am fine with that - what I wanted to do was show you WHY I can see the validity of needing to do this and why it makes me sad. I still don't agree that it is a good thing to do, but I can't say I wouldn't try it or haven't thought of it when I was starving. It is better than selling your body, that is for sure.

Food Hooking? Wow, they come up with a word for everything. For me, if someone asks me out I would still offer to cover my own meal. I won't assume the man is going to pay. That's just how I am. I'm not into going to expensive restaurants anyway. This kind of thing disturbs me. Some people will do anything for attention.

[lynn P.]

I saw this woman on the Good Morning America a couple weeks ago. If she makes 45,000 a year I suspect she could afford to buy her own food and make it herself. I would be wary of what some of the men might expect for paying for a fancy meal. I agree with Deborah35 and I would rather pay for my own. I rarely ever go out for dinner anymore - I can make better meals at home for a lot less. Those restaurant meals are often full of fat. Its fine to let the man pay if this is a man you're going to date on a regular basis. I still would rather pay myself.

[Timgt5]

To clarify my earlier post, I would always at least gently offer to pay and if the person I am with wants to pay for their own meal, not an issue with me either, more of a cultural/traditional thing with me than expecting anything specific in return.

I agree with Lynn that restuarants over do portions and can offer a lot of fattening items. I usually eat at home myself most of the time. It is nice once in a while to enjoy a good meal at a place where people can prepare food with far more training than I have as a cook. I attend Karate with a chef who is very much on the "farm to table model" (fresh local produce and meats, no canned or frozen ingrediants) and I enjoy having lunch at his place every now and again.

That's real nice of you Tim to say those things. You are a true gentleman. I guess I've had dates in the past where I felt guilty if I couldn't cover my own meal, and the guy had to pay. I'm usually honest up front if I'm short on cash or something. I would never use anyone just to get free meals.

[lynn P.]

Originally Posted by Timgt5

To clarify my earlier post, I would always at least gently offer to pay and if the person I am with wants to pay for their own meal, not an issue with me either, more of a cultural/traditional thing with me than expecting anything specific in return.

I agree with Lynn that restuarants over do portions and can offer a lot of fattening items. I usually eat at home myself most of the time. It is nice once in a while to enjoy a good meal at a place where people can prepare food with far more training than I have as a cook. I attend Karate with a chef who is very much on the "farm to table model" (fresh local produce and meats, no canned or frozen ingrediants) and I enjoy having lunch at his place every now and again.

Thanks for clarifying Tim.... I took your original post that you're a gentleman and I'm sure there are others like you. If I was that young lady I would feel guilty for using them just for that purpose....so she can get free meals. If I was single I would be wary of expecting a man to pay, in case the man isn't a gentleman. When both parties are nice people, its nice when the man is happy to pay.

[jbug]

I have a best friend who is of the male species and 99% of the time we pay for our own meals. On the rare occasion we both want to go out to eat but one of us doesn't have any money the other one picks up the bill. I know our relationship will probably go no more than friendship and having this arrangement works for us.

The other relationship I was in friendshipwise with a guy he paid for everything, meals and movies. We both knew there was no chance it was going to go any further than friendship as he was originally one of my sister's friends and for me to date him would be icky because he actually wanted to date her. She thought he was strange so no way would she date him but that is another post.

So I don't expect the guy to pay unless it is agreed upon before we get to the restaurant.

Jan