[carrie_ann]

i am so not an advice giver and frequently just give hugs to posts i have read and feel for ... just throwing that out there as i'm sure a lot of folks must be like me but am sure plenty more folks think why give just a hug with no advice lol .... and to prove a point to all

if having a bad day

back at ya

[pegasus]

You know what? I quite often think of those that really MUST try and give me their advice, Who the hell do they think they are?? Yep, don't need that, give me a big fat hug any day! Like this>>>>

I worry my *** off that I'm saying too much. I spend a lot of time trying to say the right thing and it can be stressful a little but I think it opens up my mind to imagining what i might feel like me if i was in a similar situation. I have the time to think before opening my mouth. Real life finds me woefully lacking in spontaneous effective thought.

Sometimes, and someone told me this once, that's it's sometimes better to just listen and offer a simple acknowledgement rather than words of advice. Release can be therapeutic in itself if someone just needs to unload. I think the more acknowledgement by any kind of post in any situation, goes miles towards helping someone. They see your hugs and comments no and know another person has read their stuff and has been thinking of them. Good stuff to see when someone is feeling down and low.

It was a girlfriend many years ago that told me about the listening thing. I would just barrage her with solutions my own observations etc. and not recognize when it wasn't really what she needed. She mostly needed an ear. Typical guy right? heh...well anyone can do that I guess but maybe guys ARE more likely. ME MAN...ME FIX...YOU SEE!! Her advice been part of me ever since. Sometimes i forget But I'll always know it's value.

I'm practicing trying to recognize the right approach. I really do want to be of some help and try to realize when a just a little says a lot. Sometimes I spend way too much time composing my thoughts but it's good practice for my off in all direction brain to focus. That's why I blabber more than I should on occasion. Well that and the mental health field is something that i find interesting. If my insight IS ok most of the time then that will make me happy. If it isn't I'd hope I was told. I did bugger up once but after a couple of PMs my apologies were accepted. I had made a funny[i thought] and that person didn't find it so.

Anyway I'm rambling long and just want to agree with you and KittyClaws. Acknowledgement is the big thing. Letting people know you were there and had heard them.

[AvidReader]

I agree! I often feel so bad for a poster who clearly is in pain, but I simply don't have the knowledge, or the eloquence, to offer any help. I love the "Hugs" feature (which is funny, because in person I'm not really a hugger!).

[di meliora]

If you want a hug, ask for it. If you do not want advice, do not post asking for it. Seems to be rather straightforward.

People here do what they can. you are to be commended.

[Curious Mew]

i personally don't understand the meaning of the virtual hug or thank methods. they are never evenly distributed among people like they should be, and can often be seen as favoring one person over the other.

[carrie_ann]

Originally Posted by Curious Mew

i personally don't understand the meaning of the virtual hug or thank methods. they are never evenly distributed among people like they should be, and can often be seen as favoring one person over the other.

i don't favor people, but thanx for your opinion