[Timgt5]

Hi guys

Later this month I may be going on a business trip to India. I am frankly filled with a lot of dread over this one. Originally I was supposed to take this trip to train a new outsourcing vender, but I showed through teleconferencing that these folks could be easily trained for the needed tasks in question. After all I work for a global corporation with massive tech resources, why not put them to proper use? The training program I created was a success and the new vender has been up and running for two weeks without incident.

I thought I had dodged one so to speak. Now I am being told they want me to go as a part of “PR” (public relations) because the team their needed to meet me face to face. So they decided to drag the guy in the office with Avoidant Personality Disorder and Social Anxiety along on this venture, me. So I have to go to India and pretend to be charismatic, charming, and intelligent (I am none of those things) to help build a relationship.

I have nothing against India, it is a beautiful country packed with bright souls, but I would rather see the place on MY TIME, not theirs. When I can actually explore and deep dive into different regions and most of all control my personal interactions while I am there. Instead I am going to be packed on to a plane with a VP and DIR that will not consider me worth bothering to talk to at all. Then I have to meet people that will not remember my name five minutes later. I do not like this at all.

Anyway since you are my friends I was hoping I could confide in you.

Thanks for reading/listening.

T

i hope if you go you will make the most of it.

not many people get a chance to go to india... (or at least no one i know has ever just jetted off their as a holiday destination!)

hope you bring back some pics

[Fresia]

I can completely understand your apprehension. I can also see how it is quite a complement in knowing how valuable you are to the team and to them in helping to make this a success for this extension of the company or its services/product.

In having similar dx and having to travel once for work, I tried to think of it as an adventure and in how I was going to help. It usually means the world to have someone from the company come face to face from the company and is so very helpful, that I try to focus on how I can be of help with what I know about the product or service, as this is what they want, instead of how well I might/not perform. We are not all marketing people but we each have our skill sets that our valuable and can share these. Be yourself and share what you know about the company/product. It is the information that is most important. You know that part about the companyand its product(s) and really can do it, that is all you need to share, with a lot of deep breathing. No worries!!!

I have traveled there before so if you you want to talk about it, please feel free to PM me. Wishing you all the best!

[splitimage]

I'm sorry you're in this position, I know how anxiety producing it can be. I've been shipped off to the US and to Germany for similar purposes. It can turn out to be a rewarding experience. Remember they'll probably be nervous too, as a visit from head office or the client can be very stress inducing, as they'll want to impress you.

I've worked with a lot of Indians at one of my jobs, and as a broad generalization, I'd say they're more reserved and formal than American's tend to be, so not being super charismatic may actually be an advantage.

you can also take it as a compliment that your company chose you to go. That's a big deal, and shows that they value you as an employee.

Make sure you see a travel Dr. before you go, and get your immunizations up to date - you'll likely just be in major urban centers with good infrastructure, but better safe than sorry.

Finally, I'd see if you can arrange a few days vacation after the work trip to stay on and sight see. I did that one time when I went to Berlin, and it was great. It only cost me 4 night's hotel room, since the airfare was already paid for, and I got to see the city. I used to travel a lot for business and whenever possible I'd try to tack on at least a day or 2 at the end to just play tourist.

Good luck.

splitimage

Hi, Tim. Despite your issues, please do not underestimate your professional abilities! You have impressive technical and training skills to fall back on when needed.

India is a very diverse nation and you should try to acquaint yourself with its culture before going, e.g., it will not be possible to shake hands with some Muslim women, you don't want to discuss the delish pulled pork sandwiches of North Carolina with Muslims or BBQ beef steaks with Hindus. Knowing the culture will give you more confidence dealing with your corporate people over there and will impress your managers.

Also, know what to wear. In some cultures, even if the weather is warm, shorts and t-shirts are not appropriate. (I learned this when I went to Chile.) Look at it as an opportunity to learn and grow professionally - and to meet the people who you have been dealing with - rather than as a test of your issues. I hope you have a great time!

They are obviously impressed with your skills and feel as though you are the best one for the job. I understand the stress you are under...it would be hard for most people, not just someone with AvPD...but attempt to look at it from their point of view. You are talented and they feel as though you are best suited to represent them. When you get stressed remember that. This could potentially lead to better things in the future as well.

Do some research in to Indian culture...common things to say and ways to act. Write them down and put them in your pocket. When you feel lost and that you just want to hide in the shadows, pull it out, read it, and try one or two of them. Remind yourself constantly that you are of value to the company and that's why you were chosen...not as a punishment as it seems. Hang in there!

[lizardlady]

Originally Posted by Timgt5

So I have to go to India and pretend to be charismatic, charming, and intelligent (I am none of those things) to help build a relationship.

Tim, I beg to differ. From your posts you are able to be all three of these things! You do have the skills. Maybe it would help you to plan out some possible scenarios before you go to practice what to do?

Am going to repeat what others said. This might feel like punishment, but it's a compliment to your abilities.

[Timgt5]

I appreciate all of the support and advice that all you have offered here.

I have done some fairly extensive reading on customs, foods, etc... the state dept has a rather nice faq sheet for travel that I have also used. My time will be spent in Pune, which I understand to be very modern.

I knew I could count on you guys to offer wonderful encouragement, again thank you all so much!

[Ladyzero]

Tim, Hi, we've not spoken before. I feel I must send you my congratulations. You've been paid a huge compliment by your company. What a priviledge to represent the company. I understand a little of how your feeling, but I am not aware of how much your difficulties effect you, but ANYONE would feel apprehensive facing such a trip. It's perfectly natural. It'll be a strange country, strange people, strange culture, strange as in 'different' and out of your comfort zone. Strange as in exciting, challenging and rewarding. Imagine the possibities of further opportunities to follow. Wow, you're on the up ! Seriously, take the above posters' advice, but remember if they didn't think you were up to it, would they risk sending you ? If you were'nt inteligent, and charismatic enough to take this massive P.R. opportunity, would they even consider you as a candidate ?
Not everyone is super confident socially. We can't all be the life and soul, super conversational, super outgoing, super ego building, people. Thank heavens for that.

Try hard to see this as the massive compliment that it is. Do some research on the culture etc. to build your confidence. Perhaps have 'practice' conversations with a trusted friend or family member. What to say, how to r e l a x and eventually, actually e n j o y socialising. Lots of people worry how they come across socially, nothing wrong in asking for a few pointers. Remember too, other people that are meeting you, will be too busy worrying about their social graces, to notice yours.
As long as you don't dance naked with a rose between your butt cheeks, you'll be fine. That doesn't sound likely.
No one is expecting you to get a personality change, and suddenly become Mr. Super-social-bags -of -confidence. You obviously have the requirements for this trip, so grab the opportunity, it's a massive compliment to YOU.

Practice in private as I've suggested, maybe write some short presentations if that would help. Basically just prepare a little before the trip, then r e l a x, it's going to be f u n. You probably will be spoilt rotten, lucky man !
Don't forget some personal relaxing music, and your headphones. Calming music is wonderful. Practice S l o w , c a l m breathing.
Don't forget to smile too, no one rejects a smile.

Please try to enjoy this trip, and come back with tales of your adventures for us to hear.

When you're
feeling anxious, read our posts, over and over, and try, try to believe in yourself, your company obviously does !

Take care and e n j o y !