[Silent_Efforts]

Just came across this page. Found it interesting.
Though a lot of it contradicts my own views, I just thought I'll post the link here.

Nice Guy Syndrome

Feel free to post your comments.

(Ermm.. I apologize in advance if this offends anyone. That is not my intention.)

[IchbinkeinTeufel]

Yeh, I'm ... well ... I'm a semi-nice guy, but you know what, if succeeding in life means that I have to screw other people over and step over their beaten self, then sod that for a game of darts. I've been used, I've been walked over, and I've been treated like a rag-doll; it toughened me up over the years, but at my core, I'm still "nice". I'm only really nice to people I feel actually would appreciate and/or respect it. Would I hold the door for a rude asshat? God no. Would I hold the door for a friendly looking person? Sure, why not; for me it's an instinct. In this day 'n age, we have to watch out for each other, even if it's the very smallest acts of courtesy or simply being there for a friend or family member.

Yes, it's annoying that all the asshats have top jobs, are rich, and all that crap, but you know what? I'm a better person, so screw them. And as for the women; I'd rather have a woman who loved me for me, not some backwards "broad" that got off on me stepping on people just to get by.

I'm totally with it, that sometimes you have to do tough things, but there's a line - there's always a line. I think ultimately, appreciating a happy medium between when to be nice and when to use your backbone, is the best move - I think the problem, is some of these very nice guys are simply too nice, too trusting, and too respecting, but you know something? People can be asshats, it's true, so I like to be mindful of such people. If someone does something nice for me, I will appreciate it, remember it, and keep it in mind for if they need something in the future.

This comes from someone very cynical. :P

Thanks for this thread, although a common discussion amongst us guys, it's still one I find interesting and have quite a strong view on.

[NWgirl2013]

Well ... I actually found this very helpful as I deal with someone close to me who INSISTS he is a "nice guy". LOL He is a classic as described here.

I've always been a "nice girl" but more in the Too Nice or, er, Doormat category.

I read all that then the link to " Dealing with Toxic People". Also very useful for me & reaffirming that my own intuition is not flawed at all. I have been actively taking these same steps to regain my own sense of self... and they work really well...so, Thank You! Silent Efforts.

People Skills Decoded is another good site. IMO

[ATJC]

I think there's a difference between being a nice guy and being a personal doormat.

I was kind of going to say the same thing...you can be "nice" and still be assertive and not let others take advantage of you. (And THAT can be applied to both men and women.)

Excellent article, thanks for posting it. I think that Akuma has a good balance on it!

[Webgoji]

Bleh. I've been categorized as a nice guy my whole life and it sucks. But I tell people, some times you regret the things you have to do. Sometimes, doing the right thing sucks and you'll be ultimately punished for it.

As far as high skills and a low paying job. Yep, that's me. I'm a Chemical Engineer by education and work as a lab tech making the same as Australian McDonald's workers ($15/hr). I got laid off because I wouldn't allow the company to put in a system that would kill people. Luckily I killed the project, but lost my job for it.

Women. Any woman that says she would like to date/marry a nice guy is either lying or fooling themselves. A woman won't respect a husband that doesn't put up boundaries, i.e. setting rules like no girl's nights or not working in an all-male office. Seen it thousands of times.

The best thing stated in the article is the internal anger a nice guy develops. Darn right. After enough years of essentially being punished for doing the right thing, a person can become very bitter and angry.

Whew ... /Rant