[lizardlady]

Reader's Digest collected from real pizza delivery drivers. This is my annotated version. I did pizza delivery for 12(!) years while working full time at another job. At one point I worked for the company that guaranteed delivery in 30 minutes or less. We used to swear that some folks thought calling to order a pizza constitued as foreplay. Can't tell you the number of folks who took their own sweet time getting to the door with a sheepish expression. I added some of my own comments in red.

1. It's a pizza, not a lifetime commitment.
My other line is ringing, so choose the toppings before you call.
2. We know when kids are prank-calling us.

They can’t mask their voices very well. The smart ones block the phone number. The dumb ones don’t.
3. Why won't we deliver to some neighborhoods?


In some neighborhoods, a person getting out of a car with a pizza in his hands is like screaming, “Rob me! I have cash!”

4. I'm a human being.
When you see me drenched and shivering in the rain, it’s not nice to close the door in my face while you search for some quarters in the sofa cushions. (and you could add a bit to the tip for my discomfort)

5. Use your manners.
When you open the door, please hang up your cell phone or put it down. It’s basic etiquette.

7. Before you open the door,
I’d prefer that you have a shirt on (and definitely some pants).

8. Tips should be 10 to 15 percent of your order.
If you order a lot of pizza—say, hundreds of dollars’ worth, for a party or something—but give me a $1 tip, well, I’m going to have a problem with that.

9. The more gated the community, the more guarded the wallet.
The best tips actually come from middle- and lower-class people who know what we go through. (this is VERY true!)

10. I can't wait forever.
If you don’t answer your door, don’t call later to complain that you didn’t get your food.

11. Some people want more than just pizza.
A guy once ordered pizza from me just so he’d have some help moving his sofa up a flight of stairs. I agreed to help him. He gave me a few extra bucks. I took it. (as a female I had guys think they got to cop a feel or ask for sex )

12. Telling me your address is just the first step.
Making sure the number is on your house or mailbox is kind of important too.

13. I'm just a kid.
Many delivery drivers are teenage boys, and most parents don’t like their teenage boys driving around at night in downpours or blizzards. Yet these same people have no qualms about having other teenage kids deliver their pizza in these conditions. (hey, I don't care about the age of the delivery person. used to burn my but that people would say they called to have dinner delivered because they didn't want to drive in the rain - AND THEN WOULD STIFF ME!)

14.The majority of our employees work 12-14 hours a day.
At the end of the day, we just want to go home. So please don’t call for a delivery at closing time and then complain that we can’t accommodate you. (and for many of us those 12-14 hours came after working all day. when I was delivering I worked 7:30-3:30 at my day job, then 4:30 to 11:00PM doing the pizza thing. Fridays and Saturdays I got off at 2AM. At least once a week some yahoo would call just before closing to order. We had to take the order and make the delivery.)

15. At our shop, we use our own cars to deliver pizza.
Last week one of our guys smashed his car into a pole on an icy road. Now he’s using a rental car. (I got broadsided by a lady in a big old boat of a Buick doing 50MPH.)

16. I can't wait much longer than a few minutes.
Don’t jump in the shower right after you order pizza and then not the answer the door.

17. If you live across the street, please don’t call for a delivery.
Get off your rear end and pick up the pizza yourself. (well, personally, go ahead and order for delivery, just be sure to tip!)

18. I'm over pizza.
After I leave this job, I’m sure I won’t be able to eat pizza for at least a year.

19. You ordered the pizza.
You know how much it costs. Please have your money (and tip) ready when you answer the door.

[Travelinglady]

Good ones! My hubby delivered pizzas for awhile, and he has some interesting stories to tell, too!

[seeker1950]

This is a great article. I always tip my pizza deliverers, and generously.
I think they have to provide their own car and gas around here, and make a very small hourly wage as well.

[Yoda]

I knew one delivery guy because he had done lawn work for my mom. Sometimes I would ask him to bring me a gallon of milk (store was on the route to my house). I always tipped much more when he would bring the milk, usually $5-$10 tip.

[lizardlady]

Yodas, I brought "extras" to a few people too because they couldn't get out of the house to get it themselves.

[Fresia]

Around here too, they are paid miminium wage (if lucky) or below that (like wait staff), and pay for their own gas, insurance, and maintenance of their cars. Someone tried to tell me that tax-wise the drivers can file for mileage reimbursement and a reason not to tip much. I had to laugh so I wouldn't strangle him: this is pennies on the dollar for gas, insurance, and maintenance, which are how much (?!), let alone make some kind of living to support oneself, let alone a family?! I admire those that have the courage to do this going to stranger's homes and businesses in some shady areas, and get called in all kinds of weather, which makes me cringe especially here in the north. I so really do appreciate it the times that have ordered instead of getting it and won't call in bad weather; if I won't go out, I am not about to ask someone else to go out on those icy roads. No matter, will always tip really well for this lovely service that is being provided.

Wishing all the delivery drivers safe travels, safe deliveries, reasonable customers, and the tips you deserve!

[Citrine]

Im proud to say Im kind to them, I love the look on their faces when I say keep the change. We dont have to tip delivery drivers here at all (restaurants - its good manners to do so but again not compulsary) Sometimes the del drivers look a little worn out and sad and maybe they just had a few rude people or no one tipped...then they get me. Half the time they are new to the country and they know how much some Brits grr at foreign folk so I go against that nonsense.

[jesusplay]

Holy crap I didn't even see before I posted, hahaha

[dillpickle1983]

I delivered pizzas and various other items including the dreaded FOUNTAIN drink for about 4 years. It was a love hate job for me. I made decent money, because the $2.50 fee for delivery went in my pocket, so if you stiffed me on the tip I still made something for the delivery. But those rainy nights sucked, the blizzard sucked. The tornado nights were fun though. lol I delivered in Metro St. Louis MO.

edit: After reading the thread, I also occasionally brought extras too like, cigarettes, milk, even baby diapers once. I tried to be good to people.

[yellowted]

Originally Posted by lizardlady

Yodas, I brought "extras" to a few people too because they couldn't get out of the house to get it themselves.

cor i wish you were my delivery person, delivery people in the uk don't actually deliver any orders unless they are enought to feed a family, even single disabled people have to pick up orders for one, i had flu, was too yuck to cook for myself yet none of the local chinese, pizza or indian places would deliver unless i bought enough to feed half the street!

[MuseumGhost]

Yep, seriously----pizza delivery people AREN'T working because they're bored and rich! Always think of the service person---they are people, too. And so often, they are really relying on those tips, just to make a decent amount of money.

We always pick up our own takeout, especially on busy nights (Fridays, Saturdays, big game nights, etc.).

Never delivered pizzas; just worked a lot of retail, and encountered a lot of need-to-get-a-clue Bozos out there.