[Fleury29]

I try my best to be friendly and polite, even when I don't feel like it, yet more often than not it seems as though I get yelled at for everything. Even things where a simple maybe you should try it this way you'll work better. Is it my body language, is it the way I look at someone? Is there something I can do to make someone not yell at me who otherwise might?

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[bluekoi]

Fleury29, I promise not to yell at you. Calm, friendly & polite would be how I would respond, hoping the other person would realize they were over-reacting to the situation.

[IchbinkeinTeufel]

Amen. I particularly get this from my dad, ... it took years to realise he's just loud and that's how is; it was scary as a kid, though. I'm usually quite gentle in how I talk, apparently. I do try to talk quietly... not super timid, just, ... not shouting. :P I dunno, ... I just don't wanna make people uncomfortable by screaming at 'em. I guess it depends who I'm talking to, ... if I'm talking to a loud person, I might turn up the volume, if it's to a quiet person, I'll just tone it down a notch. I believe fear made me quiet, ... my dad made me able to speak up, though.

Because they're a**holes, that's why they yell at you. I was just at the grocery store at the self check-out thing. Their stupid machine keeps messing up, and the employee watching over the self check-out line literally yelled at me. I felt really upset, even though I didn't show it. I wish I would have said, "Please don't yell at me!"

The next time someone yells at you, try putting your hand up and saying, "PLEASE. Don't. Yell. At. Me."

Yes, I find yelling is usually a trait of the person. Even certain places seem to be full of yelling or mean people. Sometimes in the extreme in which there are a bunch of grumpy people at a place I regularly go to, I just stop going there and go somewhere else. Some people are just really loud and yell a lot, even if they're not mad, which I'm okay with. Some people who are actually mean like to pick out others who appear timid or uncomfortable because they think they can get away with it. However, mean people will be mean, and yell when they get the chance at anyone.

Oh, and sorry Sister rags about the employee. That definitely isn't the right way to give a good image to your store. He should have yelled helpful advice at the least, or better yet, came over to help if he really wanted to speed things up.

[notz]

Spouse is like that...loud but not in a mean, angry way. But still, it bothers my ears.

[Calm]

Here too, I'm subjected to the angry wrath of my husband. He always had a trigger temper but it's gotten increasingly worse. He contracted encephalitis back in 2011, and it caused damage to his temporal lobe. Since then his angry outbursts have escalated significantly. He really needs to see a doctor for treatment of this but uses the excuse that he can't afford to see one. I sometimes wonder if the fact that he had encephalitis has given him a pass to behave the way he does. My nerves are raw at this point. I'm not a person who typically yells and screams when angry, and I'm pretty allergic to that type of behavior from anyone. When it will end I haven't a clue but each day is becoming more and more difficult to get through.

Originally Posted by Breezy~Day

Yes, I find yelling is usually a trait of the person. Even certain places seem to be full of yelling or mean people. Sometimes in the extreme in which there are a bunch of grumpy people at a place I regularly go to, I just stop going there and go somewhere else. Some people are just really loud and yell a lot, even if they're not mad, which I'm okay with. Some people who are actually mean like to pick out others who appear timid or uncomfortable because they think they can get away with it. However, mean people will be mean, and yell when they get the chance at anyone.

Oh, and sorry Sister rags about the employee. That definitely isn't the right way to give a good image to your store. He should have yelled helpful advice at the least, or better yet, came over to help if he really wanted to speed things up.

Thanks, B~D. Yeah, it was an upscale grocery store and that employee's behavior was not cool. If I encounter him again, I'll say something for sure.

[Raging Quiet]

My t told me if we are surpressing anger, other people pick it up subconsciously and shout at us.

I am sure you don't deserve to be treated this way

[Janice Yap]

Originally Posted by Raging Quiet

My t told me if we are surpressing anger, other people pick it up subconsciously and shout at us.

I am sure you don't deserve to be treated this way

I agree with you. People do pick up our non verbal languages. For me, my partner will ask whether im blaming them or something like that when i wasnt and was just trying to express something. Later on i found out that it was environmental factors (family surrounding) that has a huge influence on my communication pattern.

By acknowledging that, when im able to, i will ask myself what do i really want to express to others, and try to put it in a good way. Sometimes it works, sometimes it dont. Its like going against the world you knew and to make new sentences like a toddler. Its not easy but when it works, its rewarding; when it dont i'll just have to move on instead of punishing myself.