[Beth44]

I was just curious on how everyone differentiates Love and Obsession. Because true love in itself is portrayed as a form of obsession. But Obsession by itself is creepy, possessive and controlling. I believe there is a thin line keeping people apart from love and obsession and most everyone confuses the two from time to time. What are your thoughts?

[danvb]

Simply put:

True Love is a completely selfless regard for the contentment, happiness and enrichment of another person.

Obsession is about yourself and your own feelings.

There's a lot more to it than that, but that's sort of the gist of it...

Dan

[Webgoji]

I agree with Danvb

Love is an emotion concerned with the freedom and happiness of others.

Obsession is an emotion concerned only with ourselves.

Love is not obsession.

(IMO) obsession is about yourself. your feelings, your desires, your dreams.

But love is what you can GIVE to the other person. When THEY matter more than you do. When all you want is to give them anything and everything to make them happy, safe, and feel loved.

Some might also add that one is unhealthy and the other is healthy

[Pikku Myy]

What about being obsessed with love yep.. all about me..lol

[Fuzzybear]

I agree with danvb

[Alone & confused]

Originally Posted by danvb

Simply put:

True Love is a completely selfless regard for the contentment, happiness and enrichment of another person.

Obsession is about yourself and your own feelings.

There's a lot more to it than that, but that's sort of the gist of it...

Dan

Well said! I agree with you on this one! (I'm still bitter about the game last night though!)

[Alone & confused]

I can't think of a better way to put it other than what they have said. What is your reason for asking though? Are you wondering about your feelings towards someone, or someones feelings toward you?

[Fuzzybear]

[danvb]

Originally Posted by Alone & confused

Well said! I agree with you on this one! (I'm still bitter about the game last night though!)

I hope you know that I was just poking a little fun with my silliness about the Seahawks win. Frankly, I'm not a sports person at all... In fact, my wife had to tell me about their win. That's the first time I've gotten to crow about ANTHING the Seahawks have ever done...EVER!! And since you'd made a big deal about being a Broncos fan... well, you just made it too easy for me to crow...

[Alone & confused]

Originally Posted by danvb

I hope you know that I was just poking a little fun with ess about the Seahawks win. Frankly, I'm not a sprts person at all... In fact, my wife had to tell me about their win. That's the first time I've gotten to crow abou ANTHING the Seahawks have ever done...EVER!! And since you'd made a big deal about being a Broncos fan... well, you just made it too easy for me to crow...

Lol! I know, I was just coming back at ya. I am though in COMPLETE SHOCK at how bad the Broncos SUCKED! I have seen HIGH SCHOOL PLAYERS DO BETTER! It truly was a disgrace to Manning's rep!
But no worries, I didn't take it personal......after all, it wasn't ME making a fool out of myself out there on the field!

[danvb]

Originally Posted by Alone & confused

Lol! I know, I was just coming back at ya. I am though in COMPLETE SHOCK at how bad the Broncos SUCKED! I have seen HIGH SCHOOL PLAYERS DO BETTER! It truly was a disgrace to Manning's rep!
But no worries, I didn't take it personal......after all, it wasn't ME making a fool out of myself out there on the field!

Yeah, I watched the highlights this morning. A score in the first 12 seconds of the game??? Yeah... the Broncos sucked bad. I mean, they actually made the Hawks look good... Whoa.

[IchbinkeinTeufel]

Originally Posted by danvb

Simply put:

True Love is a completely selfless regard for the contentment, happiness and enrichment of another person.

Obsession is about yourself and your own feelings.

There's a lot more to it than that, but that's sort of the gist of it...

Dan

I disagree, ... or at least I did, until I realised I was focusing so much on my OCD, and didn't realise you were all talking about obsessions themselves, not OCD. ¬_¬

[MuseumGhost]

Let's not forget, that an obsession with a certain person also involves elements of control, and potentially a lot of jealousy. It's not healthy for anyone, on either end of it.

Genuine love hopefully brings out the best in a person...patience, tolerance, compassion, and all the other selfless emotions. Real love wants to see the other person blossom and grow, and cares most about their happiness.

Obsession, on the other hand, is about ownership...which can never really happen with humans, for obvious reasons.

[kp1152]

Originally Posted by Beth44

I was just curious on how everyone differentiates Love and Obsession. Because true love in itself is portrayed as a form of obsession. But Obsession by itself is creepy, possessive and controlling. I believe there is a thin line keeping people apart from love and obsession and most everyone confuses the two from time to time. What are your thoughts?

I totally agree.

[Jacki~]

Interesting. Who loved who? I'm thinking he loves himself. How 'bout reviewing the following ..... help me sort this out. Thanks.
"I treat you the way I do, not because I want anything, but because I feel like I am the best version of me when I am connected to you. I like that."

or this....

"I haven't asked, and have certainly not demanded, anything of you - including love or trust or sex. Just the opportunity to make you laugh, which - selfishly - brings me a lot of joy. And that best-version-of-me feeling."

[attempt at humor.....]

I define it as love, the police and the courts define it as obsession......

Obsession - you can't wait to hear from them

Love - you can't want to get rid of them

xxxxxx

[Beth44]

Originally Posted by Alone & confused

I can't think of a better way to put it other than what they have said. What is your reason for asking though? Are you wondering about your feelings towards someone, or someones feelings toward you?

I was curious because I still have a lot of feelings for my ex bf. and I was confused as to why. I was talking to my best guy friend about it, and he asked me that question. His belief is that you can not truly Love someone unless you are obsessed with them, with their happiness, and how they make you feel. But personally I agree with what everyone has said. Love and obsession are different, but I think it's easily confused.

[MuseumGhost]

I think your friend might be on to something---but the word obsession is incorrectly used.

Maybe "geninely concerned", "primarily concerned", would be better to describe what we really feel, when we really love another person.

Obsession, at least as far as attraction between two people, cannot last---it flares up and dies down fairly rapidly. Anything beyond that is pathological, even though it might remain private and on the mild side.

I also think---and this is purely my own experience---that men perhaps develop something closer to "obsession" (when maybe a better, more accurate way of describing it would be a good old-fashioned case of lust). I know many men who are still slightly obsessed with women from their past---unobtainable women----but I know relatively few women who still carry those same feelings for any one man.

Many psychologists agree with me on this.

[Beth44]

Originally Posted by MuseumGhost

I think your friend might be on to something---but the word obsession is incorrectly used.

Maybe "geninely concerned", "primarily concerned", would be better to describe what we really feel, when we really love another person.

Obsession, at least as far as attraction between two people, cannot last---it flares up and dies down fairly rapidly. Anything beyond that is pathological, even though it might remain private and on the mild side.

I also think---and this is purely my own experience---that men perhaps develop something closer to "obsession" (when maybe a better, more accurate way of describing it would be a good old-fashioned case of lust). I know many men who are still slightly obsessed with women from their past---unobtainable women----but I know relatively few women who still carry those same feelings for any one man.

Many psychologists agree with me on this.

I agree with you. But for women obsession is something entirely different than men. I guess obsessive thinking about someone is different than being obsessed with someone...?