[Sameer6]

The fact is not all human beings are same.People have different characters and this simple thing is not understood by many people,even including some educated people.

Recently i just wanted to take a different step in my life by attempting to join in some institute to study something and there the lady who is in in charge says that she would like everyone to socialize. I find that as very annoying and ridiculous because i am generally not much of a socializing person and the main thing for people to go to college/institutes is to study and get some certificate and not to socialize with others.Those who want to socialize with anyone,they can and those who don't want to,it's their choice.There is no need for a rule in any institute that all people should socialize and people who force others to socialize or anything else are weird.

[gayleggg]

You are right. I would be uncomfortable in that position. I go to a quilt class once a month and was given a hard time last week because I wasn't talking. I was trying to concentrate on the project we were working on socializing. I didn't know that talking to others was part of the class. I probably won't go back as I was uncomfortable being made to feel forced into visiting.

[Sameer6]

Originally Posted by gayleggg

You are right. I would be uncomfortable in that position. I go to a quilt class once a month and was given a hard time last week because I wasn't talking. I was trying to concentrate on the project we were working on socializing. I didn't know that talking to others was part of the class. I probably won't go back as I was uncomfortable being made to feel forced into visiting.

Ya,right.That is ridiculous.Sorry to hear that.If this is the case in any big institute where i live,then i have no idea as how i am going to make any change to my life.I hate this world.

[Crazy Hitch]

Yeah I totally agree - we are all totally different when it comes to socialising and one person's comfort zone is another man's invaded space.

Hopefully you'll find the happy medium there without being stretched too far.

[*Laurie*]

There are some cultures in which, and certain philosophers who believe, that being very social is a weakness of character and a sign of a lack of the richness of one's inner life.

[Frankbtl]

Hi Sameer,

"There is no need for a rule in any institute that all people should socialize and people who force others to socialize or anything else are weird"
You're absolutely right, and the purpose of this institution from what you've said, does not involve/require or it's not part of the criteria to socialise.........so she can't make it a rule.
Maybe in her mind she said that to try to make people in general feel a little more "comfortable"/at ease, but NO that doesn't work for everyone, in fact it can do the opposite sometimes.
So........she can't make it a rule.........and I should think you can say something like "Sorry, I don't........" if picked up on it. And if there are spaces where others are just chatting around you then maybe you could be focusing on "work"/the activity you're actually there for.
Your individuality, who you are, what you're there for, should not exclude you/discriminate you from enjoyable/fulfilling participation in the topic. You have every right to be there and participate without the socialisation.
If the others want to socialise........like you said.........fine...........but please don't let you feel any "less than" or that you "don't fit in", you're not and you shouldn't have/need to!!
See that you get out of the institute what you want to. Make it work for you.

And you know that could include getting something out of the "socialising drive" without socialising...........maybe at some point you might want to initiate talking to someone/people about the work/activity you're doing/you're there for, or if someone is talking socially to you turn the conversation to that..........get some different ideas/views, bounce of them ideas for ways to get to where you want to be...........that sort of thing........all topic related. Again, make it work for you.

So hoping you find a way to be there that allows you to get what you want to get from it.



Alison

[Dog on a Tree]

We are all different. Plus what if you're in a class and most people are socializing but you also see a few who aren't. Does that automatically make them bad people or anti-social? In my opinion no it doesn't. Those people could be having a bad day, could of lost a loved one recently or are not comfortable with the surrounding environment or have anxiety, etc.

[GypsyButterfly]

I'm usually a blend of observer & participant. If I'm going to be around other people, I figure, there will be a certain amount of interaction. Since, in most circumstances, we choose whether we want to be around people, I believe the expectation would be, then, if someone is in a group of some sort, there would be some communication from them. Not everyone has to be at the same level of conversation, of course. If someone doesn't want to talk at all, then, maybe it would be best to find solo activities & only associate with others when they feel comfortable doing so.

[Webgoji]

That's weird. You mention it's like a college/institute type of thing. When I was in college, our professors could care less if we even had real names, much less if we socialized or, to be frank, did anything beside the work they required.

[Takeshi]

Sry, I'm slow reader haven't read all the posts, I just browsed through them.

I just wanted to say something about this.

Majority makes the rule. If you wanna challenge that, please do so.
Thanks for reading.

[Ansley Wyman]

Maybe the lady was just trying to get everyone to get familiar with each other. If others don't want to join the activity I guess it's okay unless the lady insists then that's not good.