Pet Rules

<font color="purple">My sister sent me this and I thought I would share... It certainly is true for my cats! </font>

For Your Enjoyment...Pet Rules
PET RULES To be posted VERY LOW on the
refrigerator door – nose height. Dear Dogs and
Cats, The dishes with the paw prints are yours
and contain your food. The other dishes are mine
and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw
print in the middle of my plate and food does not
stake claim for it becoming your food and dish,
nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the
slightest.
The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and
is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is
not the object. Tripping me doesn’t help because
I fall faster than you can run.
I cannot buy anything bigger than a king
sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not
think I will continue sleeping on the couch to
ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually
curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not
necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other
stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I
also know that sticking tails straight out and
having tongues hanging out to the other end to
maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.
For the last time, there is not a secret
exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat
you there and manage to get the door shut, it is
not necessary to claw, whine, meow, and try to
turn the knob or get your paw under the edge and
try to pull the door open. I must exit through
the same door I entered. Also, I have been using
the bathroom for years – canine or feline
attendance is not required.
To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted
the following message on our front door:
To All Non-Pet Owners Who Visit & Like to Complain About Our Pets:
1. They live here. You don’t.
2. If you don’t want their hair on your clothes, stay off
the furniture. That’s why they call it ‘furniture.
3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
4. To you, it’s an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn’t speak clearly.

Remember: Dogs and Cats are better than kids
because they:
1. Eat less.
2. Don’t ask for money all the time.
3. Are easier to train.
4.Normally come when called.
5. Never ask to drive the car.
6.Don’t hang out with drug-using friends.
7.Don’t smoke or drink.
8.Don’t have to buy the latest fashions.
9. Don’t want to wear your clothes.
10. Don’t need a gazillion dollars for college and . . . 11. If they get pregnant, you can sell their children.