[Evaluna]

Sometimes I sit here and I think, I've got this life, and I can do literally anything I want with it. I could cover myself in tattoos, cut my hair off or dye it bright pink, book a flight around the world.. I could do anything I felt like but I don't. I chose to have a child and that kind of limits my options somewhat. But people just up sticks and live on desert islands.

I just wish I had the guts to do something life changing without worrying about everything all the time. I realise this probably doesn't make much sense but I know what I mean!

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[Skeezyks]

Hello Evaluna: I know what you mean too...

this is not the life I intended to lead

[Permacultural]

I hold on because I still have dreams for what I want my life to be like.

[gayleggg]

I can relate.

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[Serzen]

I don't plan on having children. If not ever, at least until I'm like 40. But I find it really difficult to find partners, so I don't see that happening.

I like traveling so I do every time I have an oportunity to do so. I want to study many things too, languages, ayurveda medicine, philosophy...

I really don't picture myself leading a family type of life, most likely a nomadic-like one, with the least restrains and attachments possible (material and non material).

[gayleggg]

Nothing wrong with your plans. Each of us should have a choice in the way we choose to live our lives. More power to you.

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[CaptainChaos79]

I totally relate with everything you have said especially today

[Frk68]

Hello Evaluna
I can relate to your wanting to do more in life but always feeling worried limiting myself.Its a constant feeling the fear and doing it anyway situation.I am coming to the end of raising my children as they are turning into adults.I have been single for a couple years now and am really working on this particular subject!Hmmmmm!What to do?
I think I know what you mean !

[eskielover]

I relate. I hated living in the city all my life but the choices I made seemed to keep me stuck there. Marriage, daughter, career in aerospace computer engineering. Then I ended up STUCK in the bad marriage after my career collapsed with aerospace in Calif. then my mother was dx'ed with cancer. ( Lol talk about stuck....At 80 she was still living in the first & only house she ever owned).

Well she died....I sold her house....I was free to go where ever in the world I wanted....no longer trapped in the bad marriage or the city. I was suffering from PTSD from a trauma that happened with the home care person who manipulated her way into caring for my mother along with anorexia that hit at the same time.....but thanks to Internet 2 years after my mother died I talked to a real estate person in the only state that made sense to move to 2100 miles away where I didn't know anyone. Found a nice 10 acre farm I bought & moved to. Basically left EVERYTHING & EVERYONE behind. 8 1/2 years later I wonder if anyone thought I would make it alone this long let alone all the work needed to care for this place. I have come to know more people & am surrounded by friends that are more like family than friends. I FINALLY love life & everything around me. I wouldn't change the decision I made for anything. Everyone says how much courage it took to make the move I made.....maybe it was because things were so bad I had nothing to loose except material things I KNEW had nothing to do with my happiness.

[yagr]

Originally Posted by Evaluna

I just wish I had the guts to do something life changing without worrying about everything all the time. I realise this probably doesn't make much sense but I know what I mean!

I have, although I'm not sure guts gets the glory. It would have taken more guts to stay in one place. I don't regret doing all that I've done but something I've learned along the way is that people and things are more alike than different - no matter where you go or what you do.

I've had steady jobs where I worked for $17/day working twelve hour days - and others where I earned over $100/hour. I was grateful for both at one time and sick to death of both at another. It's the same with locations. I've lived in the desert and marveled at its beauty right up until I hated it's oppressive heat. Lived on the ocean and marveled at its beauty right up until I would have lived anywhere else to get away from the tourists.

We're happy where we are at, doing what we are doing - right up until we aren't. There's always something to love about our lives and always something to hate. People tend to take the good for granted in any situation.

[Frk68]

I really like your story Eskielover.Thx for sharing!