[BlueCrustacean]

I used to have things under control and be positive, but for the last few days, ever since I started trying to sell some digital stuff online, I've been feeling funked up and almost clinically depressed, which I haven't felt in YEARS. The negative argument fantasies I've been trying to control are now eating me up whole, and life seems even more stressful and hopeless.

I can't get a job, no matter how hard I try, and starting a business selling stuff online as an alternative is freaking me out. I tried once before and failed (with watercolor prints). I don't even know if this is gonna do any better. No money yet. I'm still trying to apply to jobs, but it's hopeless. Hopefully I'll at least get a reply back from this nursery job I had an interview for. I don't know how to make money, I have to make it soon, and I don't know what my future will be.

I finished a short film that everybody liked on my Facebook, but nobody's helped me find a job from it (well a couple people tried, but nobody responded). Nobody's given me the right connection and the right opportunity. It's just falling down the drain, just an "amusing" thing to post on my Facebook with no ****ing consequences to it. I feel owed success (I know I shouldn't but I do), since I finally succeeded in finishing it and worked really ****ing hard on it. Why am I still living this way? Where's my success??

Have you considered doing some volunteering? It's a great way to get experience, build up your resume, increase your confidence, and network contacts.

[Fuzzybear]