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Xzahn
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Crazy Jan 26, 2016 at 03:42 AM
  #1
Hi to all,

I just need an advice and/or different point of view on this subject.
I would say my family is a little below average financially speaking. We live in small Eastern European country. For a 20 year old like myself there aren't many job opportunities even though I study software development. Most of the time you choose the lesser evil. All of things I wanted to have or do were just plans for the future, but never in the present. My previous jobs paid enough so I could support my essential need, like food and some utilities like internet and phone. That's about it. I'm not saying this to complain and I do not seek pity. I just want to give some backstory so you can understand the situation I'm in. About two months ago I got this job in a foreign company that actually does not pay bad. It's not a career type job, but I could actually support myself, pay for education and save something aside. I get like 2-3 times more than my mother does, but I'm not going to be able to live alone and do all that so I'm staying with my parents. At least until I get on my feed. Of course since I've had so much time thinking about things I want the first thing I did was to make a list. The list is quite extensive. It includes laptop, PC upgrade, wardrobe improvement, training, eating healthy, set some % aside, fix some medical issues among other things. My friend is joking it looks like I've never existed before. So my question... How should I approach this? I could go with the flow for a few months and see how I feel. Potentially check some things from the list and eventually move out. That was my initial idea. But I just don't want to waste any time. I'm a contractor on this position, so both me and my employer could terminate the contract at any time without a notice. There is also some tension with my parents. They expect me to cover some of their expenses and I'd love to if I could, but the truth is their expenses have no limits. I could spend my whole salary and the home budget will still be negative. They have inability to save. They'll spend everything to the last penny and then loan some more. I know if I give them once, it will never stop. This is also one of the reasons I want to move out.

Well, this turn out longer than expected. Sorry about that.
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Default Jan 26, 2016 at 06:25 AM
  #2
As someone who's had his own future compromised by parents that felt that leeching on me financially & emotionally was ok because "hey, we're your parents, right?", I have one word of advice (in bold capitals) for you: RUN!

You seem to finally have everything going for you. I don't know your age but I'm assuming you're young in your early 20's, so now is the time to be brave and bold, and take that leap of faith.

Don't worry about being a contractor on THIS job. Worry about your NEXT job. As a contractor, you should be always aiming for your NEXT job and switch as soon as a better opportunity arises, because your current is most likely secured for a while, unless something goes south.

Forget spending on superfluous and moneypits (or limit it to the absolute minimal) such as PC and laptop. If you are going to live on your own, you're gonna have more immediate expenses. You're gonna need to keep yoursef presentable (wardrobe) and healthy, as well as paying your bills.

When you build a house, you start by the foundation, not the finishing and fittings...

And always save money. No matter how little every week, put it on a savings account, and don't touch it unless it's really an emergency ("going on holidays", for example, is not an emergency).

In short: work on your financial independence now, while you're young and the tides are favourable.

This is the advice I'd give myself if I could go back 30 years in time.
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Thanks for this!
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Default Jan 26, 2016 at 07:52 AM
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Maybe you indicated as such but I never caught it.... do you live at home? Would it then suffice to pay a single rent check for room and board? If you do NOT live at home I wouldn't be paying money.
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Travelinglady
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Default Jan 27, 2016 at 01:17 AM
  #4
I agree with BuildAbridge. Great advice.

I don't know your country, but here in the U.S. we have thrift stores where I buy nice used clothes and other household items such as furniture.

I'd say help your parents some, but it does sound like they are taking advantage of you. They won't be happy with you, but, as you say, you do need to consider your future.

My husband and I still help our sons (23 and 24 years old) financially. They are both in graduate school and work part-time. That might be more of an American thing. We are blessed to be able to give to them and still live comfortably. We save money in all sorts of ways.
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Xzahn
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Default Jan 27, 2016 at 02:44 AM
  #5
Quote:
Originally Posted by Travelinglady View Post
I don't know your country, but here in the U.S. we have thrift stores where I buy nice used clothes and other household items such as furniture...
Its not so common here as far as I know of.
My parents are not bad people. I'm sure if they were rich I would be the most spoiled kid. They just made a lot of bad choice that are taking their tow. Currently they're in so much dept the only options they have are me becoming rich or flee the country. My father hit the bottle hard partially because of that.

Quote:
Originally Posted by BuildABridge View Post
...you should be always aiming for your NEXT job...
And always save money.

This is the advice I'd give myself if I could go back 30 years in time.
I totally get what you mean. That's why I'm currently studying, taking courses and doing whatever I can to improve myself. I do not want to spend everything on objects and entertainment but you got to agree with me. When you realize you can actually afford something for yourself after all that time. Its tempting. The PC upgrade is purely for entertainment, but the whole thing is less than 500$, and I've spread it into three months. The laptop I need because I'm studying software development and without a laptop...well you can't learn to drive without a car. Me and a friend are planing to get as many driver licenses as possible, so If nothing works out we would become truck drivers. I do plan to save, actually in two different accounts. One is for all the things I plan to buy/pay. The other is for unallocated 10% of my salary. Of course on paper is easier than in reality. My first salary I spend in a week. I did however plan it for a month. I even went to great lengths like creating a spreadsheet with prices, "rating of necessity" and algorithm that gets the most needed things you can buy with X budget. So I end up buying glasses, coat, pair of shoes and I gave around 10% of it to my mother since I've promised her.

Quote:
Originally Posted by rcat View Post
Maybe you indicated as such but I never caught it....
Yes, still live with my parents and I plan to do so for around 6 months or at least until we get into fight and I move out from anger. And I would rather move out and split the rent with a friend than pay rent to my parents, plus I doubt they would accept it.
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jbuttz
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Default Jan 27, 2016 at 09:17 AM
  #6
On an unrelated note to OP. Did you ever play quake 3?
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Xzahn
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Default Jan 27, 2016 at 01:03 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jbuttz View Post
On an unrelated note to OP. Did you ever play quake 3?
Haha, no I have not.
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Default Jan 29, 2016 at 02:34 AM
  #8
The most important thing is to put away moneybfornyourneducation to make sure you can finish & make yiurself even more valuable to earn more money.

At this point in your life buying only necessities is all you should be focused on. You will have plenty of time in yiur future after accomplishing our education goal to buy the fun things in life & NEVER go into debt that costs you interest to buy something. Save the money & buy when you have the cash to pay (timed purchases that don't charge interest can possibly be ok but make sure it's paid off within the time specified. Interest charges make things cost more than double the price & is NOT wise.

I'm not sure about your living arrangements. I guess living with parents could be best for now if you set a specified amount to pay your parents room & board based on the fact that if your current contract job ends so would your payments to them until you get another job. If you move out & your contract job ends how would you handle that? Usually apartments require deposits & money that is non-refundable so that money would be basically thrown away.

Most important, make a budget of all known monthly expenses, put away money for emergencies to cover for those just in case times. Yes it's no fun being responsible with money but if one learns when they are young then they have the money to be able to spend when older & have the good paying career. One can have nice presentable cloths to work in without spending a fortune or having closets full of cloths. You can buy the needed tools for your education as part of yiur educational expenses by budgeting & having the cash to pay....don't throw money away on unnecessary or useless things at this point in your life unless it's something you have specifically saved up to buy. Be wise NOW so you can afford to buy things you enjoy later on in life.

If I could do over my life this is one area I would do over & not go along with the stupid spending I allowed my husband to do just because we had a two computer engineering income household. Of course my do over would have been to never marry him in the first place with his financial irresponsible ways. Having to make it on my own after leaving him & be responsible for all my expenses has reinforced the values I gave up when I got married....huge mistake.

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