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Anonymous37919
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Question May 07, 2016 at 08:22 AM
  #1
Hello.

I've got an interest in being an actor or even just an extra (background actor) in movies, short films, or whatever. Unfortunately, I suffer from anxiety and I can sometimes have agoraphobia type problems in large groups, and social anxiety probably plays a big part in how I feel as well. My face feels like it is burning, and I feel nervous.

I am supposed to have a small role in a big budget movie rather soon. This is going down in May at some point. However, I no longer receive any support (read my previous threads about me having major issues with my support staff) and my friend and sister, etc, cannot help out. I'm all alone.

Please, can you offer any help? I've missed out on some stuff in the past due to being messed around.
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Default May 07, 2016 at 09:19 AM
  #2
It's really odd. While I have extreme performance anxiety when it comes to work and other activities, I love being on stage. I think it is because I can escape who I am and don't have to worry about being judged for being me. I look forward to putting on another 'mask'. Perhaps you will find the same experience.

Try a Catastrophic thinking worksheet. Basically you list off the worst case scenario and compare it against lists of the best case and likely cases. The latter should turn out to be the longer. Then go back to the worst case list (which ought to be much shorter) and strategize just what you would do if it were to happen. The result should be some new found confidence in the endeavor.
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Default May 07, 2016 at 04:14 PM
  #3
Hey Peter, So sorry you have social anxiety too. I find it VERY hard to go out in the public with out my dog. But when I do have to, I try to keep my head calm by saying "I'm ok, I'm ok" over and over.Most of the times it helps me. Although I just read someone's post where a worry stone might work too. Just keep rubbing it and rubbing it in your hands and keep it in your pocket and think this is my savior. Then maybe that will help you out. Sorry I have no other suggestions but I do know what you are going through socially wise.
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Default May 08, 2016 at 06:27 AM
  #4
I went to see the doctor a few weeks ago, and my advocacy worker came with me. We told the doctor what problems I faced, but then he was saying I didn't have autism; I have autistic traits. Well, okay.

Finding an agency to help me is hard as my supervisor tries to use the support workers as his stool pigeons, as the court have me on three orders, and they will not give flexible hours. About the biggest problem is that many caregivers are women, or so I am told. While I disagree, at the end of the day, I think I will sadly not receive any help from social services.
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Default May 08, 2016 at 06:33 AM
  #5
P.S. I was infatuated with previous women who supported me, who requested not to support me again as they felt uncomfortable, and sort of started bullying me on purpose.

The senior support staff lied for ages and claimed we would have support shifts again. Then I got angry. The court remanded me for apologizing in emails, and letters. Basically, they made out I stalked them, but it is rubbish. So now I am expected to just get on with things, yet I have no support to do acting, or find social events to go to. As I said, going alone upsets my nerves.
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Default May 08, 2016 at 10:20 AM
  #6
Hey Peter,

I have a lot of anxiety too, but took an acting class about a year ago. It was an AMAZING experience - very much fun. I think it's *awesome* that you're pursuing it, and it sounds like you actually have acting work lined up for this month? Did I read that right? That's... really incredible. Isn't it usually hard to get those gigs? I think it speaks well of your talents and abilities that you have something lined up, so maybe it helps a little to know that the people that are hiring you absolutely believe you can do that job, or they wouldn't waste their time (there are plenty of people who try to break into acting, they could have chose any of them, but they didn't - they picked you!)

Are you an extra? Do you have any lines? Even though I'm highly anxious, in my class I realized that if I can really tune in and focus on my scene partner, and take in what they're saying/doing (so that I can let my body react to their non-verbal communication), then the audience and stress seems to disappear. Like, I literally became unaware of the people in the room watching, b/c my entire focus was on the other human in the scene that I was working with. It was a really cool experience (and I'd really like to do more of it!).

I don't know if that helps any. Otherwise, make sure you're taking good care of yourself! Some exercise, gentle stretching, plenty of healthy food and water (and nothing that might throw you off or make you more anxious, like alcohol/drugs). Do your best to get some good sleep before you go in...

I don't know if any of this helps, but I hope so... and wish you the best of luck! It really is a very cool thing to be doing, and if nobody else supports you - screw them! It's your life and you have every right to go after what you want! Good luck!
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Chat May 08, 2016 at 07:05 PM
  #7
My mate and I were drama students in college several years ago, which is how we became good pals. We did so much between 2008 to 2010, and he is now doing another drama course in Glasgow. We also play pool a lot, and in recent years, we signed up with an organization that helps people with disabilities, so the service users can make new friends.

Social services in Scotland on the other hand, are run by arseholes. They know nothing about autism or mental health issues. It is rare that you end up with a really decent group of helpers, as they care more about the money than the clients. They look upon people like that as problems to manage, and they are often unreliable, stuck up and arrogant. This is why I call them paid lackeys. And sure, you get good and bad people in all aspects of life, but it is annoying when you need the help that others with problems need as well, and it just isn't being offered.

Those gentlemen that they provided to me a few months ago weren't bad people. Although one of the guys was too quiet for my taste. They were just not able to provide the sort of support I needed, and they won't alter a schedule just for me to go to acting gigs. Plus, I cannot be 100% certain they were doing this, but I think they were trying to take notes on their phones, because my supervisor instructed them to do so. Any social worker I turn to in order to set up a support service by law must notify my watchdog.

I made the mistake of divulging too much of my business to Autism Initiatives. While certain ones kidded on they cared about all the crap I suffered through, and may or may not have felt sorry for what I endured, they were logging all this stuff about me the whole time, and they probably thought I was a bit of a stalker too, as I had an intense focus on being reunited with an ex-girlfriend, who used me after we were reunited.

I'd been in supported housing for a little over 3 years. They dropped a few ladies from my support team because they believed I was getting too fond of them, and one of the women was my key worker. While I understand it's just a job to these professional caregivers, a half decent company would have hopefully taken a better approach on the matter, rather than sell me down the river, which is essentially the same thing as backstabbing. Like when all this commotion as it were initially occurred, they could have perhaps sat us down and talked it over, to clear the air. Instead, they dropped them from my team and lied for months, making me believe it was temporary, and when confronted about it, they gave a laundry list of pure excuses. So once I wound up jailed, they semi-confessed they made a few blunders along the way. But trust me when I say traitors like that aren't worth a toss.

Eventually, the team leader declared they were history. But what upset me was that I still saw them around in the staff flat, and losing them agitated me. So eventually, I was remanded in jail on 4 occasions over a fairly long period of time. The agency also coaxed me to end my tenancy last year in March.

Giving that they were calling the shots, they could have outright thrown me out. But of course, making me believe a yarn about rent arrears that I could not prove (as it was just verbal) to trick me instead, meant they knew they could get away with it, and the court were largely on their side anyway. So understandably, I've felt bitter about this.

The film I'll be starring in soon is to do with zombies causing chaos across the UK. Many extras are required to be zombies, soldiers, medics and no doubt looters, government officials, and other survivors. I'm sure it will be incredibly funny.

I still get my mother to bid on housing, but it ain't a piece of cake. Normally, these bidding systems are rather slow. You get no major offers unless it's bottom of the barrel. Only those who bid for well over a year or more may stand a chance of being afforded a flat eventually. It all takes time, though.
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Default May 09, 2016 at 12:15 AM
  #8
I took a couple of private lessons/courses in public speaking years back bc of my anxiety. It helped... what I learned to make you feel better. Get there early, meet people you are going to interact with, keep eye contact with those few peeps. I can now go in front of croud... as long as I can prep me
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Default May 09, 2016 at 12:01 PM
  #9
I joined 2020 Casting, but I assume they put clients forward for work. They don't actually list jobs. Or do they?

I just completed my profile. All I need is a disclosure certificate, but I hope my charges do not come back to bite me.
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Default May 10, 2016 at 03:42 AM
  #10
I wouldn't have thought your past will affect this and I think that once you've done this first job you'll feel so much better, you just have to get through it.
Preparation is key and like someone else said, you could make a list of all the things that you think could go wrong. Get it clear in your head exactly what it is you'll be expected to do, picture yourself doing it and doing it well. And remember to breathe. Good luck, you can do it
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Default May 10, 2016 at 06:42 AM
  #11
I get some of my benefits paid in tomorrow, so I better send off for a DBS certificate immediately, which is £25 in Britain. These are now mandatory for actors, regardless of whether somebody has convictions or not. I'm not sure how long one would take to arrive in the mail. I've probably left it a bit close.

Well anyway, I cannot depend on my 54 year old friend. When I talk about this issue to my advocacy worker, he says he's not my chauffeur. Well, okay. It's not like I meant it in that way. God.

Social services really are useless. I'm under court supervision until March next year, and the social worker I had will only give me *MALE* workers who work for peanuts and truth be told, many "caregivers" are indeed passionless.

This supervisor was only supposed to watch over me until October, but I breached the original court order last year not that long after they gave it to me. It's a CPO they have me on, so they ended up giving me 2 more of these to run concurrently. It's all crap, but the law always has to be nasty to "criminals" over minor things. Obviously, those women who supported me in the past and certain seniors from that firm painted a bad picture of me. It's truly pathetic. I'm like the nicest guy in person, who generally never bothers anyone. What they portrayed me to be is all lies and slander. These were people I trusted, too.

The court also took my sister's kids away, so obviously her mindset ain't on acting, which doesn't help me, but oh well.

Her eldest son stays with his paternal grandparents. The dad is a total fat loser. Her other kid very recently was adopted by carers. I'm not sure how long he'll be gone.

It's been stressful for all of my family. But I don't want to keep missing out on opportunities. And I certainly do need my own flat. The breathing space would help. My family's house is stuffy, cluttered, messy and kind of smelling a bit.
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