[wrigh430]

Today is my birthday.
It started out great. I woke up and reached for my phone to check the weather and in my inbox was an email wishing me Happy Birthday from a gentleman I met at a writers group couple of months ago and have been seeing socially recently.

But then the day wore on and became no different than any other year. I received no birthday wishes from anyone else. Not parents, not grandparents, not my children. Not even my co-workers, despite the fact that yesterday I actually said, "Tomorrow is my birthday." (Note: My therapist said I should drop the hint to my co-workers because they celebrate everyone's birthday in the office except mine. He said it was likely they didn't know when my birthday was, despite the fact that it's on all the HR forms. So I dropped the hint and, guess what? Nothing per usual.)

Anyway, I really like the guy who sent me the email. I know I'm not supposed to go after older men, he's 23 years my senior, but dammit, he is the only one who pays any attention to me. Who wouldn't like that?

He's a great conversationalist and we have a lot in common. We can talk for hours about botany, linguists, Celtic history, gourmet cooking, wines, and yes, writing, since that's how we met. It makes me want to tell society where they can shove their rumors of Oedipus complex and just go after the guy.

We are having dinner together next week. So far I've been careful about not openly flirting. Now, I'm thinking, low cut blouse, here I come, and actually engaging in a little flirting. Is there any reason not to persue a relationship with the only one who pays any attention to you?

[LiteraryLark]

Last year I was in such a bad state I didn't want a birthday party. I was so angry at everyone, especially my friends, two of which ignored me until I demanded to know what was up and I spent my birthday and Christmas (four days apart) feeling sad and depressed because of it. I didn't get too many birthday wishes.

I'm sorry people forgot your birthday. I'd be crushed. I say go for the guy. As long as you're a legal adult, there's really no shame or wrong in dating an older man.

[healingme4me]

I hope you don't mind if I say...Happy Birthday!

I agree with LiteraryLark, if you're legal, what's the harm in being a little flirtatious and testing the waters?

[Monarch Butterfly]

Happy Birthday!

[divine1966]

Happy birthday and yes go for it

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[wrigh430]

Originally Posted by LiteraryLark

I say go for the guy. As long as you're a legal adult, there's really no shame or wrong in dating an older man.

I'm beyond legal; I'm in my 30's, so it's not like he's be robbing the cradle or anything. It's just the social pressures to date the "right" people. I know a number of people who would not hesitate to make unkind remarks about the age difference.

But, he hasn't really flirted with me, so I'm nervous about doing something that will make me seem foolish. After all, he could be divorced, a widower, or heck, he might not be married because he's gay.

Dating is such a mine field.

[wrigh430]

Originally Posted by healingme4me

I agree with LiteraryLark, if you're legal, what's the harm in being a little flirtatious and testing the waters?

And by way of testing . . . what do I do? It's been so long since I was on a "date" I think I have forgotten how to go about it.

[wrigh430]

Thanks everyone for the Hugs and well wishes.

[healingme4me]

Originally Posted by wrigh430

And by way of testing . . . what do I do? It's been so long since I was on a "date" I think I have forgotten how to go about it.

See if he's responsive to you? I haven't had a first date, in years. Laws of attraction will garner positive body language. Just try to relax, be yourself and see what happens.

[IchbinkeinTeufel]

Happy birthday from England.

[LadyShadow]

Happy Birthday! And yeah I haven't been on a date in years myself so I wouldn't even know how to go about it either Low cut blouse is the way to go though! Good idea!

You're better at it than you know

[wrigh430]

Originally Posted by LadyShadow

Low cut blouse is the way to go though! Good idea!

I figured men are still men, no matter what the age.
I'm looking for something classy and just a touch revealing because I don't want to come off as tawdry. Also, I don't want to be too obvious in case he's "just not that into me."

Does anyone have advice on flirty with men over 60?

I've got my meal planned.
Appetizer: sheep's milk cheese, Finnish rye bread, Spanish wine.
Salad: arugula w/fresh peaches and feta
Dinner: sauteed broccoli rabe, cannelloni beans with roasted tomatoes, spice rubbed flank steak.
Dessert: rhubarb and almond tart

Simple home-cooked kind of stuff, avoiding obvious aphrodisiacs. Oysters on the half shell would be clearly out of line, LOL!

But what about setting? Candles are obviously a no-go, but natural light vs artificial light? My dining room has floor to ceiling windows with a great view of the garden; you can't see any neighbors. Natural light might be nice, at least until the sun sets, then I'd need to turn the lights on if we are going to see.

Feeling flustered.

[*Laurie*]

Sounds like a fabulous date! Why are candles a no-go?

Happy Birthday!

[fishin fool]

Happy Bday.

[wrigh430]

Originally Posted by LauraBeth

Sounds like a fabulous date! Why are candles a no-go?

Because I don't know if he likes me and I don't want to seem like a complete dolt if he doesn't.

I've had the problem before. I once had a major crush; we got along great; he was good to the kids, etc. And he had no problem coming over for candlelight dinners, followed by sex. After three years of coming over for dinner and some nooky, he got engaged to, and later married, someone else.
He was willing to spend time with me and have sex simply because he's a man. He wasn't actually interested in me. I made a decision not to let that happen again.

The next guy was also good with the kids, but invites to dinner did not include candles and sex wasn't on the menu. He stuck around for five years, but never as anything more than friends. When I finally did spring for candles and it was an obvious "let's get frisky" set up, he stopped coming around. Just too awkward for him. So, I'm not going to let that happen again either.

That was three or four years ago, so I haven't had a friend or love interest or anything, for a while. I like this new guy, we have a lot of common interests and I'd like to get to know him better. BUT, I don't want to end up feeling used and disappointed again, nor do I want to scare him off like I did the last guy.

[Yoda]

It is too soon to say if the relationship will become a romantic one but even if he only is a platonic friend at least he is an interesting one. I find intelligence very sexy.

[gayleggg]

[LucyD]

Happy Birthday!! I usually celebrate mine the whole week after, too.

[wrigh430]

Change of plans; he called last night and said he didn't want me "to go to a bunch of trouble" so he's taking me to dinner instead. We talked for about an hour, then he asked, "Out of curosity what were you planning to cook?" I told him and he perked right up and said, "Can I take a rain check? I'll take you to dinner this time, and you can cook next time."

I smiled myself to sleep.