[ptangptang]

Most of my life I seem to do things on my own. In a way I don't mind as I can do what I want but it's interesting watching other people. Its interesting to see how we protect our individual and group dynamics. Yesterday I went to a mini music festival called 'Nashville meets London' . The ideal little park for an intimate music festival. On my own, of course. I like to move around so I get a different view of the stage. Wherever I sat people, either in couples or groups, a) give you a look ' don't intrude on our space, man' b) don't smile or speak c) give out vibes that say ' hmm, not really interested in acknowledging that you are there.'.
Maybe it's me. I've always to some extent felt I was watching life from the outside. Some of it I think is a generational thing ( i guess the age dynamic was late 20/early 40's) and is indicative of todays narcissistic 'selfie' society. Some of it is cultural.
I follow a blog on 'youtube' called ' hobo traveller'. On a recent vlog he said he had noticed that in France not many people responded to him saying 'hello' and said that in the west we have become fearful and suspicious of other people. He contrasted this with other parts of the world Africa and Asia particularly.

[divine1966]

People usually are friendly where I am at. But in general it is almost expected that everyone should be coupled. I was single for years and it always annoyed me that people expected me to be with someone and not go places alone.

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[healingme4me]

There is certainly a level of detachment in society.

Interesting that the youtuber that you are watching is using their platform to observe. So such great insight out there by many. I'm actually grateful for the one that my teen watches, it's part gamer part chit chat about things that go on in the world which I've listened to and it suits my own system of beliefs.

It is hard to be on the outside, doing things alone. Something about your story reminded me of being at a hot spring. Even spaced apart, inadvertently wound up with private springs.

"Interrogate your hidden assumptions."-Cornel West

[eskielover]

Growing up as an only child I was always used to doing things alone. My mom didn't drive so my only outside world was school.

I always hated being in crowds but I think more of that also came from the Watts riots which happened my first year in junior high. It made a huge impression on me as I was in Kansas for the summer & the news made it sound like all of Southern Calif was being burnt down though come to find out it was in a whole other area of Los Angeles than where I lived. It left me feeling that crowds could very easily get out of control & if you were in the middle of it there was no way to escape the direction the crowd was going in. I always wanted to have control over my environment from as young as I can remember.

I know where I live now in the small town, people are so much different than in Los Angeles. You go to the store here & it takes forever to get out because on almost every isle there is someone you run into that you know to talk to & everyone is so friendly. Wouldn't ever be able to go back to where I came from after this. I feel so much a part of the community rather than feeling like an outsider in the area where I was born & lived for 54 years of my life. I have only been here 9 years but this truly feels like HOME.

[ptangptang]

Originally Posted by eskielover

Growing up as an only child I was always used to doing things alone. My mom didn't drive so my only outside world was school.

I always hated being in crowds but I think more of that also came from the Watts riots which happened my first year in junior high. It made a huge impression on me as I was in Kansas for the summer & the news made it sound like all of Southern Calif was being burnt down though come to find out it was in a whole other area of Los Angeles than where I lived. It left me feeling that crowds could very easily get out of control & if you were in the middle of it there was no way to escape the direction the crowd was going in. I always wanted to have control over my environment from as young as I can remember.

I know where I live now in the small town, people are so much different than in Los Angeles. You go to the store here & it takes forever to get out because on almost every isle there is someone you run into that you know to talk to & everyone is so friendly. Wouldn't ever be able to go back to where I came from after this. I feel so much a part of the community rather than feeling like an outsider in the area where I was born & lived for 54 years of my life. I have only been here 9 years but this truly feels like HOME.

Hi eskie. Thats great that where you live has a sense of community. Getting rarer and rarer these days. There are certain things in London that I'm wary about going to because you feel the mood of the crowd could turn in an instant. The Notting hill carnival being one ( esp as a white man), political demos obviously and some soccer matches. I don't feel intimidated in crowds, just that you never feel so alone as when you're in a crowd of mainly couples and groups.

[eskielover]

It's interesting here in this small town because most of us women around my age are all single, either by choice of my their husband's dying & those who are still married are involved in activities & don't center their lives around being with their H's though they do things together they do things alone or in small group involvements.

There are a few large gatherings but I don't go to them. LOL, when I first came here, a friend invited me to go to a political pot luck dinner gathering.....ugh, I was still struggling with my PTSD & ended up depersonalizing & had to walk outside. I stood in the doorway between outside & still listened, but I was feeling miserable.

I had an interesting situation in Rome in 1976. I was used to just wandering around the city the 5 weeks I was there visiting. One saturday I went out & there was NO ONE on the street in the area I was walking. All of a sudden rocks were being thrown & there were lots of people who came rushing along in what I guess was a gathering that was making it's way along the street. Not speaking the language that well, I had no idea what was going on but got out of there as fast as I could. Exactly why I don't get involved in anything there there are a large number of people gathered together.....brought back flashbacks of the riots that California had experienced during my growing up years though I never was near to any of them, it was enough watching in on TV.

Our backcountry horseman's group has a large number of members & we enjoy a huge Christmas party every year. I go to it alone & feel perfectly comfortable because I know everyone & they know me & I feel safe.

[unaluna]

Enjoy your bachelorhood while ye may. How hot does it get there in the summer? Im looking to leave town next july / august. I dont eat much - just some beans on toast...

[ptangptang]

Originally Posted by unaluna

Enjoy your bachelorhood while ye may. How hot does it get there in the summer? Im looking to leave town next july / august. I dont eat much - just some beans on toast...

I'd happily do an exchange visit with one or two people on here. I have 2 spare bedrooms, both full of stuff. But if I do ever get the house sorted you're welcome.
Summers are never too hot. If you could guarantee 3 months of decent summer it would be the ideal climate. I love baked beans on toast maybe with some grated cheese on.