so if you noticed someone needed a shower, or that someone smelled, would you tell them?

me: not really. I don't think it's that polite

sure i've had people come up to me and ask, people say I smell, do I?, and in that situation I awkwardly tell them yes.

but is not something i'd do naturally

I have had to in the past. A chap in one of my groups was coming with clothes that were apparently never being washed and neither did I think he. I found myself put in the position by others to be the one to have the chat. I, politely as I could, asked him if he had access to laundry and cleaning facilities. He did, and he was aware he smelled. It turned out in his case he had the delusion that the smell would ward off evil. it was a difficult conversation as I had to advise him he would not be welcome unless he looked after his self care. He eventually did.

More recently I was on a shuttle bus that was squished standingroom full. Someone was so bad the driver had to stop and ask him to get off. Now that must have been humiliating.

Originally Posted by justafriend306

I have had to in the past. A chap in one of my groups was coming with clothes that were apparently never being washed and neither did I think he. I found myself put in the position by others to be the one to have the chat. I, politely as I could, asked him if he had access to laundry and cleaning facilities. He did, and he was aware he smelled. It turned out in his case he had the delusion that the smell would ward off evil. it was a difficult conversation as I had to advise him he would not be welcome unless he looked after his self care. He eventually did.

More recently I was on a shuttle bus that was squished standingroom full. Someone was so bad the driver had to stop and ask him to get off. Now that must have been humiliating.

I agree that would be embarrassing!

poor guy

[fishin fool]

I had to do it once at work. As the supervisor all the complaints from other
people would come to me. Of course I did it in private in my office and as
nicely as I could and it worked out pretty well but it was a difficult conversation
to have. The complaints were valid, the odor was pretty bad, I am sure he was
mortified though.

[TiredPilgrim]

Justafriend, I've been put in this position, too. I am blunt, so I am often the 'bad guy' that is nominated to 'give the bad news' or be the tough one, so everyone else, my boss included, can sit back and think of themselves as the 'polite ones'.

[Lila Lockhart]

Only if they ask.

I imagine most people already have some clue as to whether they need one or not. And if they're not having one, or not aware, there's probably a good reason for it.

Totally depends on the situation. I have ran into homeless people who stink and assume they are that way due to mental illness (there is a place in town were homeless people can shower daily) and don't say anything....telling them that wouldn't help.
I have told family this (my kids) and feel like it is my job to gently tell someone who works for me this (though I have never had to do this but I have told people to wear less perfume when it is overpowering). I had to ask a mother to bath her child (I was a teacher for a while). I considered turning her into CPS (the child smelled like urine more than once) but worried that could have been the wrong way to go and just talked to her more than once and regularly talked to my school's counselor about it. She (the counselor) also kept in touch with this mom. We later found out that the mom was homeless....

This reminds me of a situation back in high school ... We had a fella in class that had such awful body odor it would literally make you gag ... He was an awesome guy with a great sense of humor, though, so we didn't want to hurt his feelings about it ... We went to the teacher (who was a tremendous human being) ... She discreetly talked with him after class one day and found out his home environment was not so great (he was being neglected right badly, and back then there were no reporting systems in place yet) ... So, she took matters into her own hands and arranged with a couple of coaches to allow him to be able to tend to his personal hygiene in the gym shower every morning ... They even provided the necessary toiletries, and made sure he got some breakfast at the cafeteria too ... It kinda brings a tear to my eye to recall the first day he walked into class well-fed and clean ... Nothing more was ever said about it, but you could tell he felt like a bright & shiny new penny because people had taken time to express their care and concern for him!

Originally Posted by Hopingtrying

Totally depends on the situation. I have ran into homeless people who stink and assume they are that way due to mental illness (there is a place in town were homeless people can shower daily) and don't say anything....telling them that wouldn't help.
I have told family this (my kids) and feel like it is my job to gently tell someone who works for me this (though I have never had to do this but I have told people to wear less perfume when it is overpowering). I had to ask a mother to bath her child (I was a teacher for a while). I considered turning her into CPS (the child smelled like urine more than once) but worried that could have been the wrong way to go and just talked to her more than once and regularly talked to my school's counselor about it. She (the counselor) also kept in touch with this mom. We later found out that the mom was homeless....

I totally agree with this.

I don't think telling homeless people is a great idea (they can't really help it)

Originally Posted by Pflower

This reminds me of a situation back in high school ... We had a fella in class that had such awful body odor it would literally make you gag ... He was an awesome guy with a great sense of humor, though, so we didn't want to hurt his feelings about it ... We went to the teacher (who was a tremendous human being) ... She discreetly talked with him after class one day and found out his home environment was not so great (he was being neglected right badly, and back then there were no reporting systems in place yet) ... So, she took matters into her own hands and arranged with a couple of coaches to allow him to be able to tend to his personal hygiene in the gym shower every morning ... They even provided the necessary toiletries, and made sure he got some breakfast at the cafeteria too ... It kinda brings a tear to my eye to recall the first day he walked into class well-fed and clean ... Nothing more was ever said about it, but you could tell he felt like a bright & shiny new penny because people had taken time to express their care and concern for him!

he sounds like my music teacher

it's just ashame that my music teacher never did anything about it

you knew when she was coming, or had been in the area for a good 10/ 20 minits after she left

believe me, their are plenty of times where i've seen people and they are meant to be doing something important that day, and I've wanted to be like, really?. you're not going to shower first?

[IchbinkeinTeufel]

This depends entirely on the person. I wouldn't just go up to some random person in the street and tell them they stink; that's totally unnecessary and not really my place, IMO. xD But, if someone who's actually part of my life, then yeah, I'd mention it. Just depends on the person. I wouldn't say it to someone who would really be hurt by it. That said, if someone really smells that badly, it could indicate that they're not looking after themselves too well, as many of us here will know! (depression)