[rdgrad15]

Have you ever felt forced to admit to something you didn't do? I feel like this is part of the reason people hate apologizing or admitting to something they did wrong. Yes there are people that just simply will never admit to be wrong. Everyone is wrong or makes mistakes at some point. No one is perfect. But there are also some people that will not apologize because they don't want to admit to something they didn't do. I've always wondered why someone who may be higher up than you, especially in a work environment or at school, will coerce you to admit to something you never did, therefore, getting you in trouble. Has anyone had this experience? What things have you gotten in trouble for or were forced to admit to or take responsibility and apologize for that you didn't do?

The one scenario that tends to be the most common is if someone makes a mistake, whether it is something that is being worked on or if something broke, and that person hides it and unfortunately you are the person who discovers what went wrong, therefore, making it look like you were the cause of it. In this case, it makes you look bad and you may have to admit to making the error even though you didn't. That is one of the several reasons I hate working with others. I don't want people making me look bad and leaving me with no choice but to admit to something I had no control over, especially if it is something that could result in me getting fired. Have you ever been forced to admit something or did you try to fight it instead? Just wondered.

[healingme4me]

I have certainly felt like the 'fall guy' looking back at one specific point in time in my work history. Fall guy scenario stemming from being reprimanded for some private offsite not on the clock not quite a joke but a questioning of why a certain person was a brownnose and the closeness between the boss and them. Was a vindictive ex roommate of the other party that leaked such a discussion. But yes, an on record write up for something that never should have nor would have reached said boss.

I'm going to say, that not all workplaces are like these. Don't give up hope.

Warm thoughts your way.

What exactly happened in your case?

[rdgrad15]

Originally Posted by healingme4me

I have certainly felt like the 'fall guy' looking back at one specific point in time in my work history. Fall guy scenario stemming from being reprimanded for some private offsite not on the clock not quite a joke but a questioning of why a certain person was a brownnose and the closeness between the boss and them. Was a vindictive ex roommate of the other party that leaked such a discussion. But yes, an on record write up for something that never should have nor would have reached said boss.

I'm going to say, that not all workplaces are like these. Don't give up hope.

Warm thoughts your way.

Thank you.

[rdgrad15]

Originally Posted by Vibrating Obsidian

What exactly happened in your case?

Were you referring to me or the other poster? Wasn't sure. But just in case, in my case I once had to accept responsibility from a teacher feeling offended after being accidentally ignored. In most cases, I have had to admit stuff that was outside of work or non-work related but in one work-related scenario, when I was subbing over a year ago in a school district, a teacher complained that I had ignored her on purpose even though I never ignored her on purpose, wouldn't do that to anyone. She caused me to be let go and the employer called me up and got mad at me and basically made me admit to doing it on purpose and apologizing for it.

I shouldn't have apologized and made it like I did it on purpose but I did. Felt like they wouldn't drop it unless I admitted it. I am constantly more careful now so no one can complain again. Most likely it was one of two scenarios. One possibility is that it was a total made up story just to get rid of me. Or the other possibility is that I just didn't hear the teacher calling out for me to help her with something and she got very offended and assumed I did it on purpose even though that was not the case and I had worked with her several times before and never had any problems. So now I am extra cautious. There are many other examples but they are all non-work related.

Well, there was a misunderstanding and the teacher over-reacted, which also caused your employer to over-react. It sounds like you apologize to stop the heat. Yet you know you did nothing wrong.
It takes courage to stand for yourself against something which is not right. It takes solidly knowing it's much more important to fight for what is right than to concede to what is wrong.

[rdgrad15]

Originally Posted by Vibrating Obsidian

Well, there was a misunderstanding and the teacher over-reacted, which also caused your employer to over-react. It sounds like you apologize to stop the heat. Yet you know you did nothing wrong.
It takes courage to stand for yourself against something which is not right. It takes solidly knowing it's much more important to fight for what is right than to concede to what is wrong.

Yeah I agree. And yeah I've done that before, not as much as I used to but I still do. When it comes to non-work related situations, I've gotten a lot better at standing up for myself but since I am new to the work force and just want to have a job which I do now, I am more reluctant but since I already had a bad experience, if I ever got another false claim like that again, I would definitely be more assertive.

You are right, I have apologized for things just to stop the heat. Basically just saying okay okay sorry, won't happen again. And then it just stops from there. Yeah I can't afford that anymore and I should have been more assertive since that can make me look bad. But I am definitely getting better at being assertive than I used to be. I used to be extremely laid back to the point where I accepted anything. Now, not as much. I am more willing to stand up for what is the truth now, especially in a non-work related situation.

[CaptainChaos79]

I personally refuse to apologize for someone else's wrongs. Its awful enough when I am wrong and have to eat crow. I don't care how bad it makes me look to others that isn't my problem its theirs. I gotta sleep at night knowing I was true to me not to anyone else. You can't spend your life people pleasing...someone will always be pissed no matter what you do to try to keep everyone content

[Artchic528]

OMG, once when I was a kid, I was accused of drawing a bloody knife on the wall in the hallway of my house. I honestly didn't do it, and when my mom asked me if I did it, and pointed to the drawing, I thought it looked like a very stylized picture of an Amish man with a beard who was wearing his hat, all drawn with a red felt tipped pen.

My mom thought I did it anyways, and didn't believe me when I said I didn't do it. I personally think it was the work of my kid brother, who got off scot clean as I was forced to not only scrub the image off the wall, but go to my room for the remainder of the day and had my TV privileges taken away for the rest of the week.

The things kids do to their siblings, eh? Thankfully, my parents had a long standing track record of forgetting their punishments they dolled out on us kids halfway through the week and I started watching TV again before the week was up.

I was accused of a lot of stuff growing up but never did I admit to it. I stuck to my guns.

As an adult I have a few times felt like admitting to something just to make the whole thing come to a conclusion.