When is too much information too much information?

Jan 09, 2018 at 11:02 AM

We all have one; a friend who insists on using social media to spread about far too much information from their daily lives. Perhaps I am one of a few but I cringe when reading such intimate and otherwise humiliating things. Is there a limit to this? Where do we draw the line in the sand?

For instance a family member insists on broadcasting what ought to be very private health information. It is one thing to message me to inform me of her dilemnas and troubles but to do so with everyone is, um .... er, well unseemly to me.

Jan 09, 2018 at 01:59 PM

I am that person! I disagree with "ought to be private". Says who? That line is different for everyone. I post whatever is on my mind and if people don't like it they don't have to follow me. I tend to steer away from people who feel bound by invisible rules of what is and isn't okay. Get wild, be crazy, show the world who you are. Or don't. No one gets to choose for anyone else what their comfort level is.

zoloft haver · Jan 09, 2018 at 02:39 PM

totally misread the post at first and thought they were broadcasting other peoples sensitive information. that would absolutely be messed up. but if its just theirs then thats really up for the person to decide. maybe they arent embarrassed by it at all, or maybe its an act of courage for them every day to be open about something so personal. im pretty open about my mental illness on my public twitter and it doesnt feel shameful and shouldnt in my opinion. when people see others being open about their struggles it puts their own in perspective. but im running under the assumption that your friend is battling some kind of serious illness and not livestreaming their fifth bout of diarrhea or something.

wordshaker · Jan 09, 2018 at 02:45 PM

I'm not too keen on hearing about someone's gall stones or fiber intake... but live and let live I guess. However, I've seen people air out bad feelings on FB and I think that's definitely a mistake.

Jan 09, 2018 at 02:51 PM

I hear you OP, sometimes when a FB friend airs out their personal relationship issues over FB I both cringe and feel sorry for them. My thinking is that perhaps they don't have anyone in real life to talk to about it, are lonely and want someone to listen and validate what they are going through.

I use FB for memes mostly, and to keep up with certain groups I'm in. Some people use it as a support place, possibly because they have no other support system. When I think about it from this perspective it makes it a little more understandable.

wordshaker · Jan 09, 2018 at 02:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by zoloft haver

im pretty open about my mental illness on my public twitter and it doesnt feel shameful and shouldnt in my opinion.

Thanks for being out there.

Jan 09, 2018 at 02:59 PM

Let's not assume they have no other support system. I have the most amazing people in my life. I just like to share what's going on. I posted from the hospital while high on morphine waiting for emergency kidney stone surgery. It was something to distract me. I post about the baby I placed for adoption. About my mental illnesses. So on.

So many people only post what makes them look good. I post it all. I want people to know that they aren't alone. How do you do that if you never talk about uncomfortable topics.

I find it so weird that people actually judge this. Why get so invested in what someone else does? Simply click unfollow.

Jan 09, 2018 at 03:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheSadGirl

Let's not assume they have no other support system. I have the most amazing people in my life. I just like to share what's going on. I posted from the hospital while high on morphine waiting for emergency kidney stone surgery. It was something to distract me. I post about the baby I placed for adoption. About my mental illnesses. So on.

So many people only post what makes them look good. I post it all. I want people to know that they aren't alone. How do you do that if you never talk about uncomfortable topics.

I find it so weird that people actually judge this. Why get so invested in what someone else does? Simply click unfollow.

To each their own, right? That is fine if you feel comfortable sharing everything, some don't. As someone who is accepting of posting about anything, surely you can also accept those who keep some sensitive topics to themselves?

Now I'm not talking about sharing mental health issues, I have done this before and it was well received by others. I'm referring to people bringing out their feuds with others into the open, things that could be more better resolved between the two adults rather than aired out on Facebook.

Jan 09, 2018 at 03:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by scaredandconfused

To each their own, right? That is fine if you feel comfortable sharing everything, some don't. As someone who is accepting of posting about anything, surely you can also accept those who keep some sensitive topics to themselves?

Now I'm not talking about sharing mental health issues, I have done this before and it was well received by others. I'm referring to people bringing out their feuds with others into the open, things that could be more better resolved between the two adults rather than aired out on Facebook.

I totally appreciate those who keep to themselves. That's my husband. He rarely posts anything. But I'm not judging people for not posting, that's the difference.

I can't say much about feuds. I don't really do the public fights, I just delete and block if there is drama. To each their own though.

Jan 09, 2018 at 04:00 PM

when ever someone tells me what they are doing in the bathroom, I always say to them oh, TMI (too much information!)

I mean really who cares what you are doing on the toilet?.

that's where I draw the line.

the only thing I really have a problem with

health information is okay, providing it's not in too much detail.. I don't see the need for every little detail- especially when it comes to the subject of blood

Jan 09, 2018 at 04:02 PM

example: I have a cold, I have an infection, that's okay.

but.. things like their's blood everywhere, or I vomited all over the floor, we don't need to know that

Jan 09, 2018 at 04:04 PM

A welcome discussion - and interesting.

I suppose I come straight from my mother's Scottish stock of her own mother's Edwardian upbringing. Musn't let people see your ails sort of thing. I don't think the woman even ever complained of a headache publicly and I suppose I learned this from her. Thus, I do find TMI difficult. I get squeamish, think 'oh dear' and find myself embarrassed for the friend who is revealing it. Some things, I think, are best left private. Call me weird and backwards.

This forum on the other hand seems a safe, and for me anyway, less personal space.

Jan 09, 2018 at 04:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by justafriend306

A welcome discussion - and interesting.

I suppose I come straight from my mother's Scottish stock of her own mother's Edwardian upbringing. Musn't let people see your ails sort of thing. I don't think the woman even ever complained of a headache publicly and I suppose I learned this from her. Thus, I do find TMI difficult. I get squeamish, think 'oh dear' and find myself embarrassed for the friend who is revealing it. Some things, I think, are best left private. Call me weird and backwards.

This forum on the other hand seems a safe, and for me anyway, less personal space.

You're not weird or backwards. We are all different. My mother would have agreed with you were she still alive. I just march to the best of my own drum.

Loose Screw x 2 · Jan 09, 2018 at 09:22 PM

Hey, shattered sanity, when I was in the 5th grade, I had a really bad vomitting accident on my school bus. Want to hear about it?

I share a lot about myself even offline. I like to see how people will react to that and I just like being open and honest. Why be scared and hide everything all of the time? That's just boring.

*Laurie* · Jan 09, 2018 at 09:51 PM

I'm fine with people sharing whatever they want to share online. What bothers me is when people are mean and rude to strangers.

possum220 · Jan 09, 2018 at 11:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by justafriend306

A welcome discussion - and interesting.

I suppose I come straight from my mother's Scottish stock of her own mother's Edwardian upbringing. Musn't let people see your ails sort of thing. I don't think the woman even ever complained of a headache publicly and I suppose I learned this from her. Thus, I do find TMI difficult. I get squeamish, think 'oh dear' and find myself embarrassed for the friend who is revealing it. Some things, I think, are best left private. Call me weird and backwards.

This forum on the other hand seems a safe, and for me anyway, less personal space.

Not weird or backwards at all. If I find what another is sharing in facebook, even when it's a deluge of links to songs, I will unfollow them. They are still my friend and if I choose to see what they are posting then I can click on their name.

I do not want to know about another persons ablutions and detrious. That is too much information that I don't need in my head either.

Loose Screw x 2 · Jan 10, 2018 at 05:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by *Laurie*

I'm fine with people sharing whatever they want to share online. What bothers me is when people are mean and rude to strangers.

I agree. There is no excuse for being mean to others. Even if I'm having a bad day and someone speaks to me, I smile and treat them with respect unless of course they are the rude one and then, I may still be nice if I'm in a good mood or I may even make a sarcastic remark but, I don't bite anyone's head off or anything like that.

MuseumGhost · Jan 20, 2018 at 04:44 PM

It is too much information when it makes someone uncomfortable.

There actually are some pretty innate and natural reactions to the TMI phenomenon. It's not necessarily down to someone being uptight or hyper-critical.

Sure, we have the option to follow or to un-follow, at will, and to filter what we can see.

Perhaps, when it happens to you a few more times than you would like, you'll understand just where that imaginary line is. Because caring about another person's feelings (from simply being uncomfortable to downright embarrassment, all the way to feeling nauseated) is a pretty good indicator of how enlightened you are.

Social media has definitely brought some new parameters into play. But I think the same general rules still apply in a civilized society.

They always will.

LadyShadow · Jan 21, 2018 at 01:08 AM

Honestly? Just unfollow them. You can always choose to follow them later. I unfollowed a number of people on Facebook, that went on and on with the political posts, or just flooded my feed, with not necessarily nonsense, but TOO much CRAP!

I think there are just some people that over post, and good for them. *UNFOLLOW!*

That's my two cents.

Jan 21, 2018 at 02:32 PM

Unfollowing is helpful as others said, I did that with a few, and sometimes I'm a bit extra sensitive and at those times I disable facebook - it feels like a lot of 'noise' sometimes.

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wordshaker Member Member Since Jan 2018 Location: Northeast Posts: 315 6 245 hugs given	Jan 09, 2018 at 02:45 PM #4 I'm not too keen on hearing about someone's gall stones or fiber intake... but live and let live I guess. However, I've seen people air out bad feelings on FB and I think that's definitely a mistake.
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Anonymous32451 Guest Posts: n/a	Jan 09, 2018 at 04:02 PM #11 example: I have a cold, I have an infection, that's okay. but.. things like their's blood everywhere, or I vomited all over the floor, we don't need to know that
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Loose Screw x 2 Grand Member Member Since Dec 2017 Location: The Depths of Sadness Posts: 800 6 216 hugs given	Jan 09, 2018 at 09:22 PM #14 Hey, shattered sanity, when I was in the 5th grade, I had a really bad vomitting accident on my school bus. Want to hear about it? I share a lot about myself even offline. I like to see how people will react to that and I just like being open and honest. Why be scared and hide everything all of the time? That's just boring.
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Laurie Account Suspended Member Since Jan 2015 Location: California Uber Alles Posts: 9,150 (SuperPoster!) 9 5,382 hugs given	Jan 09, 2018 at 09:51 PM #15 I'm fine with people sharing whatever they want to share online. What bothers me is when people are mean and rude to strangers.
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Anonymous59898 Guest Posts: n/a	Jan 21, 2018 at 02:32 PM #20 Unfollowing is helpful as others said, I did that with a few, and sometimes I'm a bit extra sensitive and at those times I disable facebook - it feels like a lot of 'noise' sometimes.
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