I accidentally dropped napkins and I didn’t cry!

I work at Sam's Club giving out free food. In the middle of my shift, lots of napkins fell off my cart onto the floor. Unlike before, I managed not to cry! I was so happy to make this progress, I went to a coworker.

Me: My napkins fell to the floor and I didn't cry!
Her: Good job.

Is anyone else proud of me?

I'm proud of you! Great job!

I have a hard time with crying at things most people don’t cry about. I don’t know why.

If you managed to get through something you usually cry about, I think that is great!

well done. Sometimes it's the little things in life that upset us the most. Build on this and your self esteem will improve in no time. I sound like a Chinese fortune cookie haha. Confucius say......

Well a few years ago, a girl I met at church brought all 5 of her kids to my house for a party. Her oldest, then 5 y/o told his mom that he fell while playing and he didn’t cry. His mom told him good job.

Hmmm. Not quite what I was thinking in terms of inner child talk. But here's an article from the Psych Central archives worthy of reading on the topic.

https://psychcentral.com/blog/6-step...r-inner-child/

I’m a mother of three boys. When we would have play dates, I noticed how other mothers were very nervous about their kids and would jump at any little thing, like the kid falling. They would actually encourage their kids to be afraid and cry by giving too much attention to something like a little fall and scraped knee, for example.

With my kids, I would say, unless there was blood or broken bones, I didn’t even get up or make any fuss at all when they’d get hurt. That way, my kids didn’t make any fuss when they got hurt. They didn’t cry. They just kept on playing and brushed off the temporary incident.

The mother who said “good job” to her child who was proud that he didn’t cry is one of those other mothers IMO. Why is not crying a “good job”? Either you get hurt badly enough that it makes you cry or you don’t.

If you are emulating behavior from what you learn from others, consider what I said.

The reason you would cry when you drop napkins is because you are embarrassed, not physically hurt. You didn’t cry because you didn’t feel too embarrassed this time. You are realizing that you are a grown adult and sometimes little accidents happen. So what you dropped the napkins. Pick them up.

Although good job could go either way, depending on tone and inflection and context. Which is why analyzing online is complicated.

Are you for real?

Besides, what's wrong with crying...telling a kid "Good for you for not crying"...wth. That's like saying, "Good for you, kid, for not expressing how you feel." Talk about emotional abuse...

yes that's awesome!

congrats!

You're still comparing yourself to kids under 5, so no. It's not good job it's normal for a 29 yr old not to cry over something like that. I really think you ought to seek out sheltered employment where you can be treated the way you clearly want to be treated.

Actually, my plan in to eventually reach my previous level of emotional maturity, which was adult level. I’ll be making lots of effort to get there. My coworkers will be helping me along the way. At my present level of functioning, it took ALOT of effort not to cry when my napkins dropped. That’s prolly why my coworker said good job and actually meant it. In reply to a previous poster, there was no sarcasm or shyt like that.

You have this fantasy that you have emotionally devolved because you were abused by your ex boss, that's not true. You are doing thins to yourself. You are acting out cause you didn't get what you wanted. You continue to manipulate your coworkers into treating you like a child, they will for a short time put up with it but it will grow tiring and they'll start withdrawing from you. The managers will wonder if you should find a better suited job, like sheltered employment. If you wish to lose this job too keep on behaving as you are and you will lose this job too.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Good job. Now, I have the opposite problem. When I drop/spill things I become enraged and make more of a mess throwing things.

I think that people should always be proud of themselves when they accomplish something, whether that something is big or small. If a person would normally cry over dropping something at work, then it's worth patting themselves on the back if they can control that and react appropriately in that environment.

I said earlier in this thread that I only cried once that day. It wasn't bc of napkins dropping on the floor. It was bc customer was rude. I cried to a coworker (nurse) and she had me breathe 5 times and then gave me her bottle of water, which I devoured like an animal. Another coworker was also there at that time and she acted like a real momma. I'm just proud of myself that I didn't actually call them momma and nurse out loud that day.

I cried to my supervisor who told me not to take it personal.

You said it.

If you feel good about your progress, that is great. I think it would be good for you to correct yourself in your thoughts when you refer to these co-workers as nurse or momma too, since they are neither to you and you are assigning them inappropriate roles in your head. The less you THINK of them as those roles, the less likely you will be to CALL them by those baby names.

And rude customers sucks. They can make even seasoned professionals cry sometimes. So as your boss said, don't take it too personally.

is this even legit? I am growing frustrated with the mind boggling credulity to these threads. Surely Ruby you are more mature than this. What kind of life have you been living for the last 29 years that you would have been encouraged such displays of immaturity. What role models were in your life that suggested your behaviour is at all appropriate. You seem ill equipped to make appropriate choices and lack any kind of problem solving ability. Something too in your past has led you to have a sense of entitlement. I honestly don't believe that mental illness is entirely the excuse. Quite simply, it is my opinion that yoou have all this time been in an environment that lacked accountability. You simply need to conduct yourself with some sort of self respect.

You have mentioned laughing at your posts (or that is my interpretation). How can we take you as being sincere?

I used to be more emotionally mature before suffering emotional trauma. I could accidentally lock my keys inside my car and handle it like an adult, but that was the old me. I'm currently trying to regain emotional maturity and I'm hoping for at least minimal help from coworkers. When I was in school, teachers had told me they could only help me if I help myself.

What emotional trauma did you suffer?

*sings* Oh Ruuubbbyyy, don't take your love to town....

Rejection after rejection. I know I brought this onto myself, but rejection still stings like hell

Rejection may hurt, but being rejected by supervisors you are stalking is not emotional trauma. A lot of us on the forum suffered abuse and trauma, and it can be perceived as offensive or insensitive when you call what happened with the supervisors “emotional trauma” when it was not. Emotional trauma is when you are abused (called names, told you’re stupid, fat ugly, no good; when you’re manipulated into doing what someone else wants in order to get necessities like food and shelter, when a partner or parent intentionally isolated you from everyone else so they can control and manipulate you, etc). When you are violating someone’s boundaries and they tell you to stop, and you refuse, and then they protect themselves by cutting off contact— that is entirely appropriate and health behavior on their part (they are not abusing you). If anything, they could say you are abusing them because you won’t leave them alone after repeated warnings.