[LiteraryLark]

Have you ever done it? Someone is mad at you and is accusing you of something you didn't do, but as you're telling the truth you can't help smile which makes the person think you are lying...Why does this happen?

[Mountaindewed]

I smile when I talk. When I’m saying anything. We could be talking about someone dying and I’ll be smiling. It’s been brought up both by my doctor and my therapist. I don’t mean anything by it. Honestly I think that’s just the way my mouth moves when I’m talking.

[*Laurie*]

No, I never smile when someone accuses me of something. It drives me nuts when someone is angry and they smile. What's that about? I guess it's some kind of unconscious defense mechanism.

[LiteraryLark]

Laurie, even today I have to fight to not smile, but when I was little know one would ever believe me because I smiled and it got me into trouble. I think I smiled because the look they gave me was funny when they are mad or that I know they were overreacting to something. I agree on the defense mechanism. Maybe I thought if I smiled it would calm them down. I don't know. I watch people and it's definitely a little kid thing. I don't see too many adults smiling like that, although most adults don't smile these days.

[unaluna]

My mother ALWAYS got this wrong with me - when i was lying, i could look her straight in the eye, but when i was telling the truth, i felt so bad that she didnt believe me that i couldnt look at her.

So - smiling now comes when i am confident in my facts, and i realize the other person is an idiot for doubting me. Life stinks!

[A Hobbit]

I have always done this. I don’t know why, and I certainly don’t like to - because it is perceived by most as inappropriate -, but I cannot help it.

So if someone can tell me how to not do it (spoiler: you can’t), I will be in your debt.

I don’t have a problem with this when someone is sharing bad news with me; It only happens when I’m being confronted or accused of something.

Now, if I’m in a full rage then there will be zero smiles from me.

[*Laurie*]

Originally Posted by LiteraryLark

Laurie, even today I have to fight to not smile, but when I was little know one would ever believe me because I smiled and it got me into trouble. I think I smiled because the look they gave me was funny when they are mad or that I know they were overreacting to something. I agree on the defense mechanism. Maybe I thought if I smiled it would calm them down. I don't know. I watch people and it's definitely a little kid thing. I don't see too many adults smiling like that, although most adults don't smile these days.

Really interesting, LL. I need to practice compassion. My guess is that the smiling is almost always the result of bad childhood experiences. My life-long best friend smiles "inappropriately" and her parents were severely mentally unwell, abusive people. Really sad.

[twistypringle98]

When I lie, I feel an itch on my nose. Not all the time do I scratch it.

[amicus_curiae]

Originally Posted by LiteraryLark

Have you ever done it? Someone is mad at you and is accusing you of something you didn't do, but as you're telling the truth you can't help smile which makes the person think you are lying...Why does this happen?

Yes... my theory is that it’s an “aw, shucks, I would never lie!” smile when, in fact, we know that we have lied in the past, that we’re quite adept at lying, in fact, and the smile is a guilty smile, even if we’re telling the truth.

It’s a learned behavior — smiling is an attempt to defuse the accusation, I think, but also a sort of ‘you got me’ reaction.

We are liars because we have the primal sense of self-preservation. But we feel guilty about it because we’re taught that lying is wrong. Some people feel no guilt, of course. We call those people narcissists.