So yesterday at work I was looking up something and I decided to google my old skating coach. And up came his obituary. And, it bothered me. I mean I guess I don't give a lick about him, just another in a long line of abusive men in my life, but I couldn't believe he was dead. He wasn't that much older than me, I thought. He died at 71 which is young.

A famous story about him is that I had been practicing for years for these skating tests. The night of the tests I was over our kid friends house with my brother and we went to the skating event, I thought I would be doing the tests with the coach and I had practiced with him but at the last moment he made me do it with my brother. And I failed. I was angry because first, he never should have done that but, what a great way to come between us and cause family strife.

But then, I decided to look up the friends who's home I had been over that night and I found out that the youngest brother, who I actually never met really but used to change diapers, had been recently arrested for bank robbery!

Anyway, you would think I would stop looking but then the other lady skating coach who worked with my skating coach, I looked her up and yup, dead. And she also died at 70.

I am going to stop looking. But these things did and do really bother me. I am seriously getting old.

[Mountaindewed]

Something happened to me too where I was googling people and found weird stuff. I was very close to my DARE officer in 6th grade. This was when I first began struggling. I wasn’t in therapy yet though. So I started emailing her. I emailed her daily about my struggles with school, and my friends and stuff. She would reply everyday. I knew she really did care about me. When I got sick and I was in treatment I didn’t have access to email much so I could only email her every few months. Still she replied every time. I even visited her twice at the police station she worked for. Then something happened, and she either got fired, or quit. But my mom didn’t know what happened exactly. But the officer told my mom personally to tell me she was leaving the force. This was about 8 years ago. In 2017 I decided to friend her on Facebook. I sent her a request and a private FB message. She accepted the request, replied to the message. She asked where I worked, how I was doing etc. then immediately unfriended me, and I haven’t heard from her since. It was bothering me, and I finally talked to my mom about it this past weekend. My mom thinks maybe she’s not allowed to keep in contact with former students, but wanted to make sure I was ok, and doing good. Since she knew I was struggling so badly 8-9 years ago when I last talked to her.

I googled her online this weekend, and found out what happened. She had lied about an injury to get disability money. Then either quit, or got fired as a result of that. I know what she did was wrong. I don’t agree with it at all. But I know damn well she cared about me, and still does. She helped me through so much. I know you can like someone and not agree with their behaviors. I hope she’s doing good now.

Sorry about the long rant, and this is just how I feel personally.

I'm sorry that you both had to read that about the deaths.

think if that were me I'd be shocked too.

the most disturbing thing that happened to me was seeing a Christian woman (or someone who said she was Christian) on the news wanted by the police.

I'd known her for quite some time (she lived next door to me at the time)

was sort of shocking

[WishfulThinker66]

Disturbing? That all of my children's step cousins and step-brother are absolute failures in society. These are the sons of my former sister-in-law, and my ex husband's son. One is a murderer, in jail for stabbing his best friend 27 times. One is a gang leader and head of a drug operation in Calgary. The third is a highschool drop out addicted homeless man. Then there is their cousin, my step son who has grown up to have his own troubles with the law mostly pertaining to hate crimes and domestic crimes. He is the member of several white supremist groups and has been court martialed repeatedly for inappropriate racist and misogynisistic behaviour. Last I heard he has been confined indefinitely to quarters. Oh what an effed up family.

Originally Posted by WishfulThinker66

Oh what an effed up family.

My extended family is kind of like that. (cousins) Several brushes with the law but not quite as bad. But I tell you... my parents are dead but I will say it right here... they really did us well.

Thank you mom and dad!

When I was a kid and people would be weird my parents would be like, they are, it isn't you. I thought they were just saying these things but they were right.