[AzulOscuro]

The better proof of the existence of intelligent life in other planets is that they don’t dare to visit us. In other words, they avoid us as hell. I don’t blame them. Lol!

People often wonder what kind of world we are gonna leave for our children but why don’t they ever wonder what kind of children they are gonna leave in the world?

If you shake a baby, it might poop its pants. If you shake an adult, it might punch you in the face. I dislike them equally

Do roosters know that not everyone loves cocking, doodling doo
Er, I take that back- I love roosters no matter how much cocking, doodling they do

Most frustrating part of my life is not being able to open a bag of chips or unscrew a juice bottle - thats a joke

[AzulOscuro]

You will have to explain to me the one about the rooster. I’m not an English native speaker and I didn’t catch it. But, I know when a joke has to be explained, it’s not a fun joke anymore.

Thanks!

sorry, i'm not sure I can explain more than being a close to resemblance to onomatopoeia and my sleep being disturbed by roosters every other morning

your jokes are much more profound

[AzulOscuro]

I understand now. It was a onomatopoeic sense. Again, my English doesn’t allow me to catch it so far.
Thanks for your clarification.
Yes, mine ones are ironical but any kind of humor is welcome here. So, don’t hesitate you.
Btw, your signature about all these encouragement words and ending in Nice butt or so, it’s hilarious. Lol!

id be a smoker if I knew where to put the butts - pun intended

[AzulOscuro]

I’m learning a lot after looking at the fictionary. Thanks! :-)

[sarahsweets]

This is a jersey joke:
Where do you find a lost PA driver?
In the left lane.

[Mountaindewed]

This is more of a funny story but it’s also kind of a joke.

My manager at my job is a jerk and this morning he wasn’t around for a couple hours, so I was wondering if he had left. My coworker was passing by and I said to her:

Where did the manager go?

And she said

“To hell.”

It was pretty funny.

[AzulOscuro]

Originally Posted by Mountaindewed

This is more of a funny story but it’s also kind of a joke.

My manager at my job is a jerk and this morning he wasn’t around for a couple hours, so I was wondering if he had left. My coworker was passing by and I said to her:

Where did the manager go?

And she said

“To hell.”

It was pretty funny.

Indeed. It’s hilarious.
Only problem is what if he is not admitted even in hell. Lol

[88Butterfly88]

[Mountaindewed]

Originally Posted by AzulOscuro

Indeed. It’s hilarious.
Only problem is what if he is not admitted even in hell. Lol

Yeah I wouldn’t be surprised. This guy is a straight up ***. But he’s not consistently rude to me, so it’s tolerable. But he just hands me stuff then walks away without saying anything. I know what to do with the things he gives me but I still find it rude for him to be completely silent and ignore me. Today I was walking back with my trash bin and he just comes up and puts a bag of trash on top of it and walks off. No thank you or anything. Just walks off. It drives me insane. Yet the other week he gave me a high five and an enthusiastic thank you for doing a good job.

[AzulOscuro]

Originally Posted by Mountaindewed

Yeah I wouldn’t be surprised. This guy is a straight up ***. But he’s not consistently rude to me, so it’s tolerable. But he just hands me stuff then walks away without saying anything. I know what to do with the things he gives me but I still find it rude for him to be completely silent and ignore me. Today I was walking back with my trash bin and he just comes up and puts a bag of trash on top of it and walks off. No thank you or anything. Just walks off. It drives me insane. Yet the other week he gave me a high five and an enthusiastic thank you for doing a good job.

Well, if he gave you a 5 high is a good signal. It’s not all lost. :-)

Maybe, we shouldn’t be talking here about him. What if he is also here in the forum, following your steps. Lol!

Talking seriously now, there are people like this everywhere. I have walk pass with some of my coworkers and I kept with the good morning or hello in my mouth. Or saying it, without receiving a greeting back.

[Mountaindewed]

This is a gross joke my doctor made today.

He was flushing my ear and this infection and stuff was just pouring out. He said

“It looks like someone is having a bowel movement.”

It was so funny despite the pain I was in.

[bipolarsojourner]

Gym jokes

How come treadmills don’t make flour?
Why don’t excerise bikes have two wheels?

[88Butterfly88]

[AzulOscuro]

Originally Posted by bipolarsojourner

Gym jokes

How come treadmills don’t make flour?
Why don’t excerise bikes have two wheels?

I don’t know it. Go ahead, shoot!

[happysobercrafter]

[happysobercrafter]

[happysobercrafter]

Originally Posted by AzulOscuro

I don’t know it. Go ahead, shoot!

I don't get it.

[happysobercrafter]

Originally Posted by AB2371

If you shake a baby, it might poop its pants. If you shake an adult, it might punch you in the face. I dislike them equally

Do roosters know that not everyone loves cocking, doodling doo
Er, I take that back- I love roosters no matter how much cocking, doodling they do

Most frustrating part of my life is not being able to open a bag of chips or unscrew a juice bottle - thats a joke

You are way over my head!

[happysobercrafter]

Originally Posted by sarahsweets

This is a jersey joke:
Where do you find a lost PA driver?
In the left lane.

I don't get it.

[AzulOscuro]

HappyCrafter, Thanks for your jokes. They are funny, especially the one about the grandmother. Lol!

What you didn’t get, my reply to the questions?

[AzulOscuro]

Originally Posted by HappyCrafter

I don't get it.

Maybe, it’s me the one who didn’t get it. It’s not strange because I’m a bit slow to catch jokes. I tell you it. :-)

[AzulOscuro]

Originally Posted by HappyCrafter

I don't get it.

Lol! It means you are not from New Jersey. :-)