My kids are older and that's a good thing but it still makes me wistful and sad...

sarahsweets · May 05, 2019 at 05:11 AM

My oldest is 23 and survived a stroke in November and made a 99% recovery. My middle daughter is 19 now, ran away when she was 18 and became and addict and has lived in like 4 sober houses and has a steady job but still all the drama that goes along with NA. My youngest is 15 and we are planning a sweet 16 for August which is already stressing me out. I have great kids despite their troubles and I have stayed at home with them for 15 years and currently getting back to work in September. But it still makes me sad. I was married at 20 and my son is 23 and still doesnt know what he wants to do- has a 4.0 though. My middle daughter is hanging onto her sobriety and my youngest just got a boyfriend. I feel purposeless. I had a job getting everyone out of the house including the husband but that has dwindled. Most days I am fine but some days that bittersweet crying takes over. Its not empty nest yet- I am only 44 but I feel like I could have done more for them. My husband and I are totally in love and modeled a healthy marriage (which is why I do not get the middle daughters' bad taste in men) and they always tell us that they have so many friends whose parents hate each other or are divorced. I know that spending the rest of my life with my husband will be wonderful but... I guess I cant explain how I feel. My husband had a vasectomy and I am in perimenopause and I feel like my physical purpose is fading away. I am not sure how to overcome the sad days... guess I had to vent...

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My kids are older and that's a good thing but it still makes me wistful and sad...

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