[Mountaindewed]

I have to admit this. I’m not a nice person. Everyone at work thinks I am the nicest coworker and I really like everyone. The truth is I actually get quite annoyed by everyone. I just have excellent control over my moods and what comes out of my mouth to the point I think I am a fake friend. But no one realizes this because I am so good at what I do. I don’t consider myself shady. I would never throw anyone under the bus. I just am not who they think I am. I also play mind games with this girl on Facebook just for the fun of it. I’ve never discussed this with anyone. Does this sound like an issue if no one suspects anything? I see my new therapist tomorrow and I’m wondering if it’s worth bringing it up to her.

[stopdog]

Do you want to be different than you are on this? Is it causing you difficulty?

[sarahsweets]

Do you really feel you are a fake? Why?

Originally Posted by Mountaindewed

I have to admit this. I’m not a nice person. Everyone at work thinks I am the nicest coworker and I really like everyone. The truth is I actually get quite annoyed by everyone. I just have excellent control over my moods and what comes out of my mouth to the point I think I am a fake friend. But no one realizes this because I am so good at what I do. I don’t consider myself shady. I would never throw anyone under the bus. I just am not who they think I am. I also play mind games with this girl on Facebook just for the fun of it. I’ve never discussed this with anyone. Does this sound like an issue if no one suspects anything? I see my new therapist tomorrow and I’m wondering if it’s worth bringing it up to her.

I think all of this you discussed here indicates that you ARE a nice person. Look at it from the opposite perspective. Does being a nice person mean you have to like everybody no matter how they act and what they say or do? Absolutely not. Why the heck is it fake to be nice to people who are annoying you? I call that patience. I think it takes a very nice person to consistently be polite and professional and kind in spite of how you may feel about everything going on around you. I wish I had excellent control like you do. I’m very nice.... until I’m not. I am not ugly to people but if I get fed up I certainly can and will say something about it. I wish I could just let things roll off my back more. Value your ability to be so patient.

[Iloivar]

Mind games? Can you elaborate? Example? Is it a mild sadistic streak?

Do you consider these people your friends? It sounds like you do to some extent since you think yourself as a fake friend. Meaning you initially thought yourself as their friend?

I also agree with Sisabel, and to add to her post. Does not liking someone mean you treat them with disrespect? As she said, it sounds like you're simply being proffesional.

Lastly, unless there's a limit to how long you cab speak to a therapist and that you have other talking points that will last a whole session, I don't see any harm in bringing up both of these issues. If only to gain another opinion on the topic.