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Community Support Team Member Since Mar 2006
Location: Ontario, Canada
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#1
I posted sometime last week that I was having a problem with my room mate and was going to have to evict her.
So I gave her a week's notice to move out on the 24th. She tore it up in my face and said she wasn't leaving. I made sure that everything she was doing/saying and my responses in writing were all on file with the rental office, since it's my name on the lease, which has been helpful. Today was the worst. She started screaming around 6:30 am, a neighbour came and complained. I kept trying to get her to calm down and shut up. Finally I got to the point where I called 911, but she stood over shrieking at me to put the phone down so I backed down and told the dispatcher that things were ok. Then I got a call from the rental office that they'd recieved 2 calls in an hour to complain. I said there was nothing I could do and with the next complaint they should call the police. She left for a while, and I guess she was hanging out in the lobby muttering things, because she freaked out the office staff. She also smashed some china, mid fit this morning. She came back up to the apartment, and 10 minutes later the police arrived. I was like Thank God you're here, which apparently wasn't the response they were expecting. They talked to me first then talked to her, and I explained the whole eviction thing, and they informed me that because we share a kitchen and bath, I had the right to do an immediate eviction. They agreed with me that she was delusional, but didn't think she was a threat to herself or others so they couldn't take her in under the mental health act, but they could evict her. I was yes please. More yelling and they gave her the choice of leaving on her own volition or under arrest. She left under her own volition. Management has already changed the locks on my unit. Now all I have to do is pack up her stuff and arrange a time for her to pick it up. And now I also have every single window in my apartment open to try and air out the smell of smoke since she'd been smoking in her room, and there's no way I'm going to be able to rent the room until the smell of smoke is gone. So now it's back to looking for a new tenant again. I'll be much more thorough about checking references this time. I'm so relieved I just collapsed. splitimage |
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Crone
Member Since May 2010
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#2
Boy, what an ordeal. Glad she's out. Hope you have the police on stand by when she comes to pick up her stuff.
__________________ Nammu …Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …... Desiderata Max Ehrmann |
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splitimage, unaluna
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Elder Harridan x-hankster
Member Since Jun 2011
Location: Milan/Michigan
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#3
So glad to hear. Our management is very intolerant of residents yelling, people are ousted like immediately. But boy, they sure didnt make it easy for you. Its like, someone ELSE had to complain for it to count.
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splitimage
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healing from trauma
Member Since Dec 2017
Location: Alberta
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#4
I am so glad she is out. Hugs
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splitimage
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Magnate
Member Since Oct 2018
Location: California
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#5
Jeez, congratulations, Splitimage. What a relief that must be. Jeez, go celebrate 🎉 or something!
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splitimage
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Threadtastic Postaholic
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#6
Definitely call the police to be present when she picks up her stuff. Some places have a constable for that and others use the police. Do NOT let her in without the police.
__________________ "I carried a watermelon?" President of the no F's given society. |
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splitimage
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Moderator
Community Support Team Member Since Mar 2006
Location: Ontario, Canada
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#7
Thanks ((((Everyone)))).
I'm so relieved she's out. I slept 11 hours last night, simply from the adrenaline crash and now my body feels like it's recovering from a beating. I can feel how less tense I am. Sarahsweets - she won't be coming up to my apartment to retrieve her stuff. I'll pack everything up and then coordinate with the management office, for a time for her to pick up her stuff from the office. splitimage |
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Elder
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#8
I am relieved to hear that. Bless your heart, what an ordeal!!
__________________ "Love you. Take care of you. Be true to you. You are the only you, you will ever know the best. Reach for YOUR stars. You can reach them better than anyone else ever can." Landon Clary Eason Grateful Sobriety Fangirl Since 11-16-2007 Happy Sober Crafter |
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Magnate
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#9
I am so, so glad that she's finally out! Congratulations! And, yeah, that sleep was well-deserved
And, I'm happy to hear that she'll have to get her stuff from the management office, and you won't have to deal with her anymore! So much stress... glad she's out of your life! |
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Moderator
Community Support Team Member Since Mar 2006
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 11,334
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#10
She called me last night, to talk about getting her stuff. She asked if she could come by to pick up some of her clothes. I told her no, but that I'd meet her in a public place and give them to her. So I'll meet her on my way home from my Dr's appointment.
Then in the realm of the truly unbelievable, she asked if she could come over last night, just to sleep. And I was Uh, NO, not going to happen. I had to repeat no, multiple times, before she got it. Geeze, how big a sucker does she think I am? splitimage |
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Veteran Member
Member Since Oct 2018
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#11
Oh my gosh! I've dealt with people like that too. Unbelievable.
__________________ *"Fierce <-> Reality"* oh god I am struggling today, help me to remember how to stay connected and human! remember: the nut shell against human predators and my own fear! |
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splitimage
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Moderator
Community Support Team Member Since Mar 2006
Location: Ontario, Canada
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#12
So I met up with her at the designated point, to give her, her clothes. She looks awful, and she was falling asleep. It's clear she hasn't slept at all.
She asked me again if she could come back, just to the end of the month, and I'm No Way. Then she asked me if I could loan her 20. Again that was a negative. I made as fast an exit as I could. |
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Crone
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#13
It's so good you stuck to your guns. As sad as it is she needs more help than you can give her.
__________________ Nammu …Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …... Desiderata Max Ehrmann |
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splitimage, unaluna
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Legendary
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#14
She well and truly destroyed the bridge. Sadly it sounds like she is delusional. She is her own problem now. You have been through so much pressure with her. I am so glad she is out and that you can have another peaceful nights sleep and another one and another one.
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splitimage
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Moderator
Community Support Team Member Since Mar 2006
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 11,334
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#15
Yesterday, when I went to meet her, she asked me if I could bring a few more things to her. I agreed, and we agreed we'd meet in the shopping concourse connected to a convenient subway stop.
Due to the timing of when buses run from my area to the subway stop I got there about a half hour early so just settled into a chair and looked through facebook on my phone. About 15 min. before she was to meet me, I heard familiar screaming, and she was screaming the usual obscenities. Then a few minutes later I heard her yelling, and saw that she was talking with mall security - she walked off after that. I went up to the security guard, introduced myself, told him I knew the woman he'd just been talking to, and that I thought she was dangerously delusional, and the best outcome would be for her to be taken into custody under the mental health ad. He took my name and contact info. He said she'd been going around to various businesses asking them to store her stuff, and naturally they all said no. She came and met me about 15 min. later, and she didn't have anything with her. She told me her purse and phone had been stolen. She looked a mess and her talking wasn't making much sense. I encouraged her to go to a shelter so she could get some help. While we were talking, the security guard came up with 2 police officers, who notified her that the building was trespassing her and she needed to leave immediately and couldn't come back. The gave her written notice and she left. I gave her the small bag I'd packed for her, but she seemed kind of oblivious to it. I know I did the right thing by kicking her out, and not backing out. It was just hard seeing her looking so sick. It's hard for me to not feel guilty. splitimage |
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Crone
Member Since May 2010
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#16
It's not your fault. it is a sad situation but she is way beyond your help, she needs professional help. If she would get sectioned it would be good for but they don't do that much cause there's no room.
__________________ Nammu …Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …... Desiderata Max Ehrmann |
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splitimage
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Oct 2004
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#17
Quote:
Yes it is hard seeing people sick & especially when they won't seek help for themselves. Feeling sad for her is OK. Feeling guilty.....not ok. Obviously even the police can't do what is necessary to try & get her to a place where she can get professional help. Maybe she really doesn't want help & it into thinking that this is just the way she is & everyone should just accept her bad behavior. I actually went through trying to get help for my now EX-H though it was from 2100 miles away. Honestly if they think there is nothing wrong they can end up homeless & there is just NOTHING we can do to fix the underlying cause. We sure can't live in the same house with people like that. __________________ Leo's favorite place was in the passenger seat of my truck. We went everywhere together like this. Leo my soulmate will live in my heart FOREVER Nov 1, 2002 - Dec 16, 2018 |
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splitimage
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Human
Member Since Apr 2014
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#18
Is this the same person you've been trying to evict for a couple of months for not paying rent? Wow! I'm glad you are free of her! I think you can absolutely find a good roommate, this was just some odd, terrible experience.
I say that because I've found like 5 roommates in the past off of Craigslist and while some were a little quirky and some I didn't like personally, none of them were scary or weird like this. Yes, check the references for sure. Ask them what their daily routine is like too. Find out about their hobbies, and how often they see/invite over family and friends. Not to see if you have anything in common, but to gauge their lifestyle and behaviors. Someone with no family or friends (although many of us could be classified that way) could be a red flag for someone who has estranged themselves due to bad behavior (I say red flag, not for certain). Just things to look out for. Also, maybe write out what the ideal roommate would be like, and how they would interact with you. And you can even state that to the people you interview and see if that seems like who they are. They want to be comfortable just like you, so it's only fair. I hope the next one goes better, and so glad you are safe. That was very scary! Seesaw __________________ What if I fall? Oh, my dear, but what if you fly? Primary Dx: C-PTSD and Severe Chronic Treatment Resistant Major Depressive Disorder Secondary Dx: Generalized Anxiety Disorder with mild Agoraphobia. Meds I've tried: Prozac, Zoloft, Celexa, Effexor, Remeron, Elavil, Wellbutrin, Risperidone, Abilify, Prazosin, Paxil, Trazadone, Tramadol, Topomax, Xanax, Propranolol, Valium, Visteril, Vraylar, Selinor, Clonopin, Ambien Treatments I've done: CBT, DBT, Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS), Talk therapy, psychotherapy, exercise, diet, sleeping more, sleeping less... |
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splitimage
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Legendary
Member Since Jan 2009
Location: Uppa Gumtree West
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#19
Maybe the police could have given her directions to a shelter. It sounds like she is unhinged.
Hope you are enjoying your space at home. |
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splitimage
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Moderator
Community Support Team Member Since Mar 2006
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 11,334
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#20
Thank you all for reaffirming my decision to evict her, honestly if I hadn't I would have been evicted too.
I just feel really bad to see someone so obviously sick unable to get help. Now my next challenge is, she was chain smoking in her room, which I didn't totally realize - also against our rental agreement. So the room totally reeks of cigarette smoke. I've asked the property management company if they'll come in to wash the walls and repaint, but if they don't I've got a bunch of friends lined up to come over next weekend to help me wash the walls at least. I can rent a carpet steam cleaner and do that on my own, and I've been given some advice on how to get the smell out of the mattress. The smell is actually a little better now than it was, as I've had every window in the apartment wide open for the past week and that's helped, but it's still noticeable. As soon as I get the room done, I'll start advertising. I'm sure by being more thorough with reference checks, I'll be able to find someone suitable. It's just stressful. splitimage |
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